Please help create a poster
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06-11-2012, 05:33 PM
Please help create a poster
No, not someone who posts on the forum. I mean to create a wall poster.

I used to have a girlfriend long ago who had a "Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten" poster. I have a spoof of that one titled "Everything I need to know I learned from Star Wars" hanging in my gaming room.

Now I want a new poster that I might have to create but I'm not bible scholar so I'm looking to you fine folk to help me out with the contents. Same idea as the other two, but this one (also a spoof) needs to be "Everything I need to know I learned from the Bible." I'm hoping to get a list really shocking, but hopefully funny too, bible quotes that make you go, 'Hmmmmm'.

Here's a horrible example of what I don't want: http://clarkbunch.wordpress.com/2012/07/...the-bible/. This one has already been done and it's meant to be inspirational. Found it on a google search.

I want the opposite. I want the icky stuff, but hopefully it's also funny, or at least sarcastic. Or maybe I'll spin it as sarcasm.

Anyone have any good ideas?

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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06-11-2012, 06:17 PM
RE: Please help create a poster
Pin a bible to your wall by driving a BIG nail through it. That ought to be pretty self-explanatory.
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06-11-2012, 06:36 PM
RE: Please help create a poster
Intriguing, but that's a whole different poster. Heck, it's not a poster, it's abstract art. Or symbolism. Or symbolic abstract art. I dunno - I suck at art.

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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06-11-2012, 06:50 PM
RE: Please help create a poster
Open to Deuteronomy. That's half your poster right there. Go to Leviticus and Exodus for more awful. Flip around the Old Testament at random and you'll probably find a bit more. Then crack open Genesis for a final dash of good old fashioned creation science, and you have a "What I learned from the Bible" poster.

E 2 = (mc 2)2 + (pc )2
614C → 714N + e + ̅νe
2 K(s) + 2 H2O(l) → 2 KOH(aq) + H2 (g) + 196 kJ/mol
It works, bitches.
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06-11-2012, 07:17 PM
RE: Please help create a poster
(06-11-2012 06:50 PM)Phaedrus Wrote:  Open to Deuteronomy. That's half your poster right there. Go to Leviticus and Exodus for more awful. Flip around the Old Testament at random and you'll probably find a bit more. Then crack open Genesis for a final dash of good old fashioned creation science, and you have a "What I learned from the Bible" poster.
Yeah, Numbers has a bit of that good ole OT crunchiness too. I guess maybe I can do this the old fashioned way and do the legwork myself. I mean, people used to do that, right? It sort of defeats the idea of using the internet community as a crutch to save me from doing actual research, but I suppose it won't kill me. Much.

"Whores perform the same function as priests, but far more thoroughly." - Robert A. Heinlein
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07-11-2012, 10:14 AM
RE: Please help create a poster
How about a poster called 'How to get away with everything' that have certain topics, and the bible verses that a. say it's bad and then b. with another verse that smashes the first one. Almost like a pro's and con's list.

Put a disclaimer at the bottom saying 'Must take this poster with a HUGE grain of salt and a sense of humor'

Big Grin Whatever the end result is, I wanna see the poster!

[Image: 3d366d5c-72a0-4228-b835-f404c2970188_zps...1381867723]
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07-11-2012, 06:40 PM
RE: Please help create a poster
Maybe the SAB can help you? Can't you search it for all verses demonstrating cruelty?

EDIT: Yup: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty/long.html

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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