Please pray for me
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27-02-2012, 10:05 AM
Please pray for me
I'm sick of all these old folks asking me to pray for them after they get cancer. So I started thinking would yall mind just pray that I don't get the shit to begin with? Also there is a crazy old bum with a glass eye always drinking country club vodka and muttering something when I walk past him on my way to the building. Could yall pray that that crazy sonovabitch doesn't shank me on the way in to work? I see it coming and I just can't be bothered with all that nonsense right now.

Thanks in advance.
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27-02-2012, 11:20 AM
RE: Please pray for me
(27-02-2012 10:05 AM)J-Hova Wrote:  I'm sick of all these old folks asking me to pray for them after they get cancer. So I started thinking would yall mind just pray that I don't get the shit to begin with? Also there is a crazy old bum with a glass eye always drinking country club vodka and muttering something when I walk past him on my way to the building. Could yall pray that that crazy sonovabitch doesn't shank me on the way in to work? I see it coming and I just can't be bothered with all that nonsense right now.

Thanks in advance.

So... um do you think it'll work if a bunch of atheists pray for you? I mean... it seems like Christians would have a better chance if that stuff actually works. What you're basically asking is that a bunch of guys God absolutely detests (if he does exist) should suddenly start bothering him on behalf of some guy with a suspiciously similar name to his own... I think if I was God I'd be compelled to dick with you severely Big Grin Anyway I'm constitutionally incapable of praying.
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27-02-2012, 11:23 AM
RE: Please pray for me
I think this was a facetious post.

[Image: dog-shaking.gif]
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27-02-2012, 11:54 AM
RE: Please pray for me
Lets all pray to Jehova Big Grin

Your having a giraffe mate.

(Giraffe=laugh..... to people outside of the uk unaware of cockney ryhming slang)

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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27-02-2012, 01:08 PM
RE: Please pray for me
(27-02-2012 11:20 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(27-02-2012 10:05 AM)J-Hova Wrote:  I'm sick of all these old folks asking me to pray for them after they get cancer. So I started thinking would yall mind just pray that I don't get the shit to begin with? Also there is a crazy old bum with a glass eye always drinking country club vodka and muttering something when I walk past him on my way to the building. Could yall pray that that crazy sonovabitch doesn't shank me on the way in to work? I see it coming and I just can't be bothered with all that nonsense right now.

Thanks in advance.

So... um do you think it'll work if a bunch of atheists pray for you? I mean... it seems like Christians would have a better chance if that stuff actually works. What you're basically asking is that a bunch of guys God absolutely detests (if he does exist) should suddenly start bothering him on behalf of some guy with a suspiciously similar name to his own... I think if I was God I'd be compelled to dick with you severely Big Grin Anyway I'm constitutionally incapable of praying.


A prayer is a prayer. Plus I asked some Christians to pray I don't get cancer and they said it did not work that way. They could only pray that I will get better after I get it. I do not understand that. They said it is God's choice whoever catches cancer and you should not pray to stop something that may be his will. I just don't buy it I don't see any difference on just beating it to the punch. Maybe God does not know how serious I am about not wanting cancer. Well that is where you come in. I figure I will ask some folks that are not that big into religon unlike the christians who seem to take it real serious and will not pray before the cancer sets in.

Oh and don't forget that bum, he was passed out when I walked past him for lunch so I dodged a bullet but he is always awake at 4:30 when I leave. I feel confident that God does not know or has forgotten just how batshit this guy is. Probably wouldnt hurt just to pray he minds his business and leaves me alone when I walk past.

Thanks
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27-02-2012, 01:08 PM
RE: Please pray for me
LOL, funny thread actually!!!

But seriously, I have got my share of "my cousin twice removed is having surgery for his cancer today, please pray for him". Given the delicate situation, I simply don't answer to those requests, but I do feel like saying "hey dude, you do know your god is the one that gave him the cancer in the first place, right?"

English is not my first language. If you think I am being mean, ask me. It could be just a wording problem.
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27-02-2012, 01:14 PM
RE: Please pray for me
In the case that you were seriously asking Christians to pray for you, do you realize that this post will more or less grab the attention of only 1 Christian that believes every minutia of life has been predestined, right?

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27-02-2012, 01:37 PM
RE: Please pray for me
In my mind, that's the point. Presuming for a moment that the Christian God is real... if you can't pray to change God's will- and God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and onmi-present- then everything that happens must be His will otherwise it wouldn't have happened. So any amount of intercessory prayer is ultimately useless and must be insulting to God. Traditional "Ask and you shall receive" prayer can't get you anywhere.

Is this what you believe KC? If not, can you explain (or point me to your already written explanation) why intercessory prayer is worthwhile?
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27-02-2012, 01:41 PM
RE: Please pray for me
(27-02-2012 01:37 PM)kineo Wrote:  Traditional "Ask and you shall receive" prayer can't get you anywhere.

Ask and you shall receive a swift kick up the butt Big Grin
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27-02-2012, 02:06 PM
RE: Please pray for me
Dear Jehova,
Please do onto J-Hova as Thou, in Thy infinite wisdom, deem just.
with all due respect,
a discontinued pagan entity

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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