Poets' Corner (Serious Poems)
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04-09-2011, 07:20 AM (This post was last modified: 11-08-2013 09:34 PM by kingschosen.)
 
Poets' Corner (Serious Poems)
I have posted a couple of my poems on different threads and GirlyMan seems to like them, so I thought there may be other poets on the forum who would like to post something. It is difficult to jump into a thread with poetry, so I thought I would create one just for that purpose.

Let me start it off with one of mine and then hope that others will join in.

Saturn

The pale, pastel-pink globe,
embraced by jaunty rings,
on a vast, star-studded sky,
drifted, slowly,
across my viewfinder.

…Earth slowly rotated
under my feet,
summer-dawn breeze
gently ruffled my hair…

Saturn was there, immutable,
following its path of causes and effects,
and I thought of Galileo,
who laboured over a block of glass,
grinding it into a lens,
to behold the same planet…

…and, through a gap of four hundred years,
he and I
looked into each other's eyes.
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04-09-2011, 08:41 AM
RE: Poets' Corner
Wow that is awesome dude......sharing a moment with galileo......beautifull way of seeing it Smile

Heres an oldish one of mine.

Infinity.......and the slice of it I cling to.
So precious, but I really dont appreciate how much yet.
My life.....this "I".....whose significance I pass through.
Time, space and imagination....limited to a mere moment.

What is it I experience...
I ask whilst experiencing it...
Why should I live...
I ask whilst living it...
What is the purpose...
I ask whilst fullfilling it...

.......where will it end??? In a universe infinitly old.....

You're never going to say the things you want to say.
The things you want to change will usually stay that way
The promises you break outweigh the ones you keep.
Paint upon the wall for the hundredth time.

Jesus Jones
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04-09-2011, 09:19 AM
 
RE: Poets' Corner
(04-09-2011 08:41 AM)bemore Wrote:  Heres an oldish one of mine.

I like it a lot, bemore, you make the reader feel what you must have felt writing it.

Let's hope others won't be too shy and join in.
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04-09-2011, 04:24 PM (This post was last modified: 04-09-2011 05:04 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Poets' Corner
Brilliant Zatamon! All of this shit we are experiencing is completely ineffable and poetry, music, art are our best bets for sharing it. I have no talent for producing it, but I got a damn good ear and eye for appreciating it.

(04-09-2011 07:20 AM)Zatamon Wrote:  Saturn

I like this one a lot too, although I think it could be improved if the last stanza was:

"…and, through a gap of four hundred years,
he and I
looked through each other's eyes."

(04-09-2011 08:41 AM)bemore Wrote:  What is the purpose...
I ask whilst fullfilling it...

I like that couplet a lot bemore.

Since I don't write my own, I'll share some from others that I like here.

From some crazy ass bitch calling herself Emily Dickinson:

"Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us –
The Dews drew quivering and chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity – "

Breathing - it's more art than science.
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04-09-2011, 05:25 PM
 
RE: Poets' Corner
(04-09-2011 04:24 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I like this one a lot too, although I think it could be improved if the last stanza was:

"…and, through a gap of four hundred years,
he and I
looked through each other's eyes."

It would be correct, GirlyMan, if my intention was different: bemore got it right: I just wanted to share a brief moment with Galileo, looking at the same planet, at the same time (with a small temporal gap in between) -- all I wanted was a connection, representing our human curiosity, fascination and awe that we had in common. I just wanted to lightly touch his soul, with one fingertip, through space and time. I also wanted to bring him to life for a brief moment of exchanged glances.

PS. I like Emily a lot, and the poem you quoted is awesome!
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04-09-2011, 06:03 PM
RE: Poets' Corner
Im not usualy into poetry, but the Saturn one was good.
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05-09-2011, 12:15 PM
RE: Poets' Corner
Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again Big Grin

My day is divided between asleep and awake.
Apparently one is real....and the other one is "fake" (ha ha)
Yet when I dream I can be aware I can wake.

These places I go...the things I do....these people I see.
In my dreams.....there all tiny parts.....that are reflecting my "awake" reality.
I am aware of them.....are they aware of me.......when there shouldnt be we.....because everything in them is me.

So if I live in a world that I think is a mess......are my dreams part of me trying to sort out some sense.

If dreams are reflections of what I see as my reality........then what is shaping reality (if not "me")

Given that thought, im now left with an incomplete view.......I think ill use faith to fill the gaps if I need to.

You're never going to say the things you want to say.
The things you want to change will usually stay that way
The promises you break outweigh the ones you keep.
Paint upon the wall for the hundredth time.

Jesus Jones
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05-09-2011, 12:29 PM
 
RE: Poets' Corner
(05-09-2011 12:15 PM)bemore Wrote:  Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again Big Grin
My day is divided between asleep and awake.

bemore, this is truly delightful -- beautiful word-play and I just loved the punchline!

May I ask how old you were when you wrote this?

The playfulness suggests young, the content suggests maturity.
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05-09-2011, 12:34 PM (This post was last modified: 05-09-2011 12:38 PM by bemore.)
RE: Poets' Corner
(05-09-2011 12:29 PM)Zatamon Wrote:  
(05-09-2011 12:15 PM)bemore Wrote:  Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again Big Grin
My day is divided between asleep and awake.

bemore, this is truly delightful -- beautiful word-play and I just loved the punchline!

May I ask how old you were when you wrote this?

The playfulness suggests young, the content suggests maturity.

My internet has been down most of the day.....so I wrote it inbetween jobs that I have been catching up with.

I wrote it today......im 30 years young.
I also wrote this one today as well........although it feels incomplete somehow.

Unimaginable pain and fear.....that I have tasted.
I know it exists yet how do I erase it???
I can try the best for me.........but what of them???
Whats good for me....isnt necesarily whats needed by all men.

Even if I could bear this shoulder of responsibility.
Nobody gave this task......I take it upon willingly.
Yet I ask who am I to set the rules of life and law.
I am not owner of the animals, lands or shore.

I am nobody except my own keeper....only I can take myself into the future.
But I am still only part of the "whole".....to find a place to fit in is my lifelong goal.

I dont give my work names all of the time, I think a fun part is that the reader give it there own title. Seeing as they (the beholders ) are interpreting it in there own unique ways when reading it.

You're never going to say the things you want to say.
The things you want to change will usually stay that way
The promises you break outweigh the ones you keep.
Paint upon the wall for the hundredth time.

Jesus Jones
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05-09-2011, 12:42 PM
 
RE: Poets' Corner
(05-09-2011 12:34 PM)bemore Wrote:  I wrote it today......im 30 years young.

I am impressed!

OK, since nobody else has joined us yet (I hope soon!), here is another 'darkly playful' thought I had a few years ago:


Dentist


In the dentist's chair
I whimper politely
to let him know he is torturing me.
He ignores it
and keeps digging in deeper,
as if trying to see
how much I can stand.
It would be unfair
to bite his hand,
or scream at him as I'd like to;
having to cause me pain
probably hurts him more
than it hurts me.

Through this fog of horrible ache
I can't help wondering
if this is the fate of the writer:
having to beg people
not to harm him
(please,
don't trash the world
we're all living in)

What if, once, I surprised my dentist
and instead of the pitiful cries,
suddenly I roared like a wounded tiger
and bit his hateful hand really hard?

If I were a brave man
I know what I should do,
to make people listen:
I should climb up on a rooftop
and start shooting at them.
Afterward, I would be on TV,
interviewed by a noted reporter,
who would ask me how I felt
when I pulled the trigger.
I would then tell him: I did it
to wake up the world,
to beauty, truth, danger
and I was careful not to hurt anyone
and I do love my fellow men.

But he would dig deeper until it hurt
just like my friendly dentist
and, instead of a pathetic whimper,
since I had nothing to risk, I would
grab his hand holding the mike
and after a satisfying bite
shove it down his throat
to silence my pitiful voice
that all can hear…
…but to which
no one would listen.

ETA:

PS. I just noticed the second poem you posted.

I like the thoughts but I think it needs a little editing -- just as you felt yourself.
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