Poets' Corner

[Zatamon]

I have posted a couple of my poems on different threads and GirlyMan seems to like them, so I thought there may be other poets on the forum who would like to post something. It is difficult to jump into a thread with poetry, so I thought I would create one just for that purpose.

Let me start it off with one of mine and then hope that others will join in.

Saturn

The pale, pastel-pink globe,
embraced by jaunty rings,
on a vast, star-studded sky,
drifted, slowly,
across my viewfinder.

…Earth slowly rotated
under my feet,
summer-dawn breeze
gently ruffled my hair…

Saturn was there, immutable,
following its path of causes and effects,
and I thought of Galileo,
who laboured over a block of glass,
grinding it into a lens,
to behold the same planet…

…and, through a gap of four hundred years,
he and I
looked into each other's eyes.

[bemore]

Wow that is awesome dude......sharing a moment with galileo......beautifull way of seeing it

Heres an oldish one of mine.

Infinity.......and the slice of it I cling to.
So precious, but I really dont appreciate how much yet.
My life.....this "I".....whose significance I pass through.
Time, space and imagination....limited to a mere moment.

What is it I experience...
I ask whilst experiencing it...
Why should I live...
I ask whilst living it...
What is the purpose...
I ask whilst fullfilling it...

.......where will it end??? In a universe infinitly old.....

[Zatamon]

(04-09-2011 08:41 AM)bemore Wrote:  Heres an oldish one of mine.

I like it a lot, bemore, you make the reader feel what you must have felt writing it.

Let's hope others won't be too shy and join in.

[GirlyMan]

Brilliant Zatamon! All of this shit we are experiencing is completely ineffable and poetry, music, art are our best bets for sharing it. I have no talent for producing it, but I got a damn good ear and eye for appreciating it.

(04-09-2011 07:20 AM)Zatamon Wrote:  Saturn

I like this one a lot too, although I think it could be improved if the last stanza was:

"…and, through a gap of four hundred years,
he and I
looked through each other's eyes."

(04-09-2011 08:41 AM)bemore Wrote:  What is the purpose...
I ask whilst fullfilling it...

I like that couplet a lot bemore.

Since I don't write my own, I'll share some from others that I like here.

From some crazy ass bitch calling herself Emily Dickinson:

"Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
And Immortality.

We slowly drove – He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility –

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess – in the Ring –
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain –
We passed the Setting Sun –

Or rather – He passed us –
The Dews drew quivering and chill –
For only Gossamer, my Gown –
My Tippet – only Tulle –

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground –
The Roof was scarcely visible –
The Cornice – in the Ground –

Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity – "

[Zatamon]

(04-09-2011 04:24 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I like this one a lot too, although I think it could be improved if the last stanza was:

"…and, through a gap of four hundred years,
he and I
looked through each other's eyes."

It would be correct, GirlyMan, if my intention was different: bemore got it right: I just wanted to share a brief moment with Galileo, looking at the same planet, at the same time (with a small temporal gap in between) -- all I wanted was a connection, representing our human curiosity, fascination and awe that we had in common. I just wanted to lightly touch his soul, with one fingertip, through space and time. I also wanted to bring him to life for a brief moment of exchanged glances.

PS. I like Emily a lot, and the poem you quoted is awesome!

[FSM_scot]

Im not usualy into poetry, but the Saturn one was good.

[bemore]

Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again

My day is divided between asleep and awake.
Apparently one is real....and the other one is "fake" (ha ha)
Yet when I dream I can be aware I can wake.

These places I go...the things I do....these people I see.
In my dreams.....there all tiny parts.....that are reflecting my "awake" reality.
I am aware of them.....are they aware of me.......when there shouldnt be we.....because everything in them is me.

So if I live in a world that I think is a mess......are my dreams part of me trying to sort out some sense.

If dreams are reflections of what I see as my reality........then what is shaping reality (if not "me")

Given that thought, im now left with an incomplete view.......I think ill use faith to fill the gaps if I need to.

[Zatamon]

(05-09-2011 12:15 PM)bemore Wrote:  Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again
My day is divided between asleep and awake.

bemore, this is truly delightful -- beautiful word-play and I just loved the punchline!

May I ask how old you were when you wrote this?

The playfulness suggests young, the content suggests maturity.

[bemore]

(05-09-2011 12:29 PM)Zatamon Wrote:  

(05-09-2011 12:15 PM)bemore Wrote:  Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again
My day is divided between asleep and awake.

bemore, this is truly delightful -- beautiful word-play and I just loved the punchline!

May I ask how old you were when you wrote this?

The playfulness suggests young, the content suggests maturity.

My internet has been down most of the day.....so I wrote it inbetween jobs that I have been catching up with.

I wrote it today......im 30 years young.

---

I also wrote this one today as well........although it feels incomplete somehow.

Unimaginable pain and fear.....that I have tasted.
I know it exists yet how do I erase it???
I can try the best for me.........but what of them???
Whats good for me....isnt necesarily whats needed by all men.

Even if I could bear this shoulder of responsibility.
Nobody gave this task......I take it upon willingly.
Yet I ask who am I to set the rules of life and law.
I am not owner of the animals, lands or shore.

I am nobody except my own keeper....only I can take myself into the future.
But I am still only part of the "whole".....to find a place to fit in is my lifelong goal.

I dont give my work names all of the time, I think a fun part is that the reader give it there own title. Seeing as they (the beholders ) are interpreting it in there own unique ways when reading it.

[Zatamon]

(05-09-2011 12:34 PM)bemore Wrote:  I wrote it today......im 30 years young.

I am impressed!

OK, since nobody else has joined us yet (I hope soon!), here is another 'darkly playful' thought I had a few years ago:


Dentist

In the dentist's chair
I whimper politely
to let him know he is torturing me.
He ignores it
and keeps digging in deeper,
as if trying to see
how much I can stand.
It would be unfair
to bite his hand,
or scream at him as I'd like to;
having to cause me pain
probably hurts him more
than it hurts me.

Through this fog of horrible ache
I can't help wondering
if this is the fate of the writer:
having to beg people
not to harm him
(please,
don't trash the world
we're all living in)

What if, once, I surprised my dentist
and instead of the pitiful cries,
suddenly I roared like a wounded tiger
and bit his hateful hand really hard?

If I were a brave man
I know what I should do,
to make people listen:
I should climb up on a rooftop
and start shooting at them.
Afterward, I would be on TV,
interviewed by a noted reporter,
who would ask me how I felt
when I pulled the trigger.
I would then tell him: I did it
to wake up the world,
to beauty, truth, danger
and I was careful not to hurt anyone
and I do love my fellow men.

But he would dig deeper until it hurt
just like my friendly dentist
and, instead of a pathetic whimper,
since I had nothing to risk, I would
grab his hand holding the mike
and after a satisfying bite
shove it down his throat
to silence my pitiful voice
that all can hear…
…but to which
no one would listen.

ETA:

PS. I just noticed the second poem you posted.

I like the thoughts but I think it needs a little editing -- just as you felt yourself.