Poets' Corner
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04-09-2011, 07:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 17-05-2016 03:48 AM by DLJ.)
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Poets' Corner
I have posted a couple of my poems on different threads and GirlyMan seems to like them, so I thought there may be other poets on the forum who would like to post something. It is difficult to jump into a thread with poetry, so I thought I would create one just for that purpose.
Let me start it off with one of mine and then hope that others will join in. Saturn The pale, pastel-pink globe, embraced by jaunty rings, on a vast, star-studded sky, drifted, slowly, across my viewfinder. …Earth slowly rotated under my feet, summer-dawn breeze gently ruffled my hair… Saturn was there, immutable, following its path of causes and effects, and I thought of Galileo, who laboured over a block of glass, grinding it into a lens, to behold the same planet… …and, through a gap of four hundred years, he and I looked into each other's eyes. |
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04-09-2011, 08:41 AM
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RE: Poets' Corner
Wow that is awesome dude......sharing a moment with galileo......beautifull way of seeing it
![]() Heres an oldish one of mine. Infinity.......and the slice of it I cling to. So precious, but I really dont appreciate how much yet. My life.....this "I".....whose significance I pass through. Time, space and imagination....limited to a mere moment. What is it I experience... I ask whilst experiencing it... Why should I live... I ask whilst living it... What is the purpose... I ask whilst fullfilling it... .......where will it end??? In a universe infinitly old..... I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing. I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond. I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown. |
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04-09-2011, 04:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2011 05:04 PM by GirlyMan.)
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RE: Poets' Corner
Brilliant Zatamon! All of this shit we are experiencing is completely ineffable and poetry, music, art are our best bets for sharing it. I have no talent for producing it, but I got a damn good ear and eye for appreciating it.
(04-09-2011 07:20 AM)Zatamon Wrote: Saturn I like this one a lot too, although I think it could be improved if the last stanza was: "…and, through a gap of four hundred years, he and I looked through each other's eyes." (04-09-2011 08:41 AM)bemore Wrote: What is the purpose... I like that couplet a lot bemore. Since I don't write my own, I'll share some from others that I like here. From some crazy ass bitch calling herself Emily Dickinson: "Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me – The Carriage held but just Ourselves – And Immortality. We slowly drove – He knew no haste And I had put away My labor and my leisure too, For His Civility – We passed the School, where Children strove At Recess – in the Ring – We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain – We passed the Setting Sun – Or rather – He passed us – The Dews drew quivering and chill – For only Gossamer, my Gown – My Tippet – only Tulle – We paused before a House that seemed A Swelling of the Ground – The Roof was scarcely visible – The Cornice – in the Ground – Since then – 'tis Centuries – and yet Feels shorter than the Day I first surmised the Horses' Heads Were toward Eternity – " #sigh |
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04-09-2011, 05:25 PM
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RE: Poets' Corner
(04-09-2011 04:24 PM)GirlyMan Wrote: I like this one a lot too, although I think it could be improved if the last stanza was: It would be correct, GirlyMan, if my intention was different: bemore got it right: I just wanted to share a brief moment with Galileo, looking at the same planet, at the same time (with a small temporal gap in between) -- all I wanted was a connection, representing our human curiosity, fascination and awe that we had in common. I just wanted to lightly touch his soul, with one fingertip, through space and time. I also wanted to bring him to life for a brief moment of exchanged glances. PS. I like Emily a lot, and the poem you quoted is awesome! |
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04-09-2011, 06:03 PM
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RE: Poets' Corner
Im not usualy into poetry, but the Saturn one was good.
Behold the power of the force! ![]() |
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05-09-2011, 12:15 PM
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RE: Poets' Corner
Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again
![]() My day is divided between asleep and awake. Apparently one is real....and the other one is "fake" (ha ha) Yet when I dream I can be aware I can wake. These places I go...the things I do....these people I see. In my dreams.....there all tiny parts.....that are reflecting my "awake" reality. I am aware of them.....are they aware of me.......when there shouldnt be we.....because everything in them is me. So if I live in a world that I think is a mess......are my dreams part of me trying to sort out some sense. If dreams are reflections of what I see as my reality........then what is shaping reality (if not "me") Given that thought, im now left with an incomplete view.......I think ill use faith to fill the gaps if I need to. I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing. I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond. I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown. |
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05-09-2011, 12:29 PM
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RE: Poets' Corner
(05-09-2011 12:15 PM)bemore Wrote: Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again bemore, this is truly delightful -- beautiful word-play and I just loved the punchline! May I ask how old you were when you wrote this? The playfulness suggests young, the content suggests maturity. |
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05-09-2011, 12:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-09-2011 12:38 PM by bemore.)
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RE: Poets' Corner
(05-09-2011 12:29 PM)Zatamon Wrote:(05-09-2011 12:15 PM)bemore Wrote: Zatamon has got my thirst for poetry flowing again My internet has been down most of the day.....so I wrote it inbetween jobs that I have been catching up with. I wrote it today......im 30 years young. I also wrote this one today as well........although it feels incomplete somehow. Unimaginable pain and fear.....that I have tasted. I know it exists yet how do I erase it??? I can try the best for me.........but what of them??? Whats good for me....isnt necesarily whats needed by all men. Even if I could bear this shoulder of responsibility. Nobody gave this task......I take it upon willingly. Yet I ask who am I to set the rules of life and law. I am not owner of the animals, lands or shore. I am nobody except my own keeper....only I can take myself into the future. But I am still only part of the "whole".....to find a place to fit in is my lifelong goal. I dont give my work names all of the time, I think a fun part is that the reader give it there own title. Seeing as they (the beholders ) are interpreting it in there own unique ways when reading it. I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing. I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond. I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown. |
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05-09-2011, 12:42 PM
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RE: Poets' Corner
(05-09-2011 12:34 PM)bemore Wrote: I wrote it today......im 30 years young. I am impressed! OK, since nobody else has joined us yet (I hope soon!), here is another 'darkly playful' thought I had a few years ago: Dentist In the dentist's chair I whimper politely to let him know he is torturing me. He ignores it and keeps digging in deeper, as if trying to see how much I can stand. It would be unfair to bite his hand, or scream at him as I'd like to; having to cause me pain probably hurts him more than it hurts me. Through this fog of horrible ache I can't help wondering if this is the fate of the writer: having to beg people not to harm him (please, don't trash the world we're all living in) What if, once, I surprised my dentist and instead of the pitiful cries, suddenly I roared like a wounded tiger and bit his hateful hand really hard? If I were a brave man I know what I should do, to make people listen: I should climb up on a rooftop and start shooting at them. Afterward, I would be on TV, interviewed by a noted reporter, who would ask me how I felt when I pulled the trigger. I would then tell him: I did it to wake up the world, to beauty, truth, danger and I was careful not to hurt anyone and I do love my fellow men. But he would dig deeper until it hurt just like my friendly dentist and, instead of a pathetic whimper, since I had nothing to risk, I would grab his hand holding the mike and after a satisfying bite shove it down his throat to silence my pitiful voice that all can hear… …but to which no one would listen. ETA: PS. I just noticed the second poem you posted. I like the thoughts but I think it needs a little editing -- just as you felt yourself. |
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