Polite or Frank?
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18-12-2016, 09:08 AM
RE: Polite or Frank?
Being frank is inherently polite.
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18-12-2016, 09:45 AM
RE: Polite or Frank?
(18-12-2016 08:41 AM)tomilay Wrote:  Polite and frank are NOT mutually exclusive things.

Pa Thump used to say, "Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to Hell, and have them looking forward to the trip."
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18-12-2016, 12:33 PM
RE: Polite or Frank?
(17-12-2016 09:03 AM)sneroul the thinker Wrote:  I personally find being polite to be so fake and forced [...]

If this is truly the case, then I'm guessing you have some sort of psychosocial dysfunction (as do many people suffering from autism spectrum disorders, for example). I'd be seeing a psychologist.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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18-12-2016, 12:38 PM
RE: Polite or Frank?
(18-12-2016 12:33 PM)SYZ Wrote:  
(17-12-2016 09:03 AM)sneroul the thinker Wrote:  I personally find being polite to be so fake and forced [...]

If this is truly the case, then I'm guessing you have some sort of psychosocial dysfunction (as do many people suffering from autism spectrum disorders, for example). I'd be seeing a psychologist.

Why would anyone give a flying fuck about what your 'guess' is about a psychiatric illness - something people go through 12 years of school to diagnose?
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19-12-2016, 10:36 AM (This post was last modified: 19-12-2016 10:42 AM by Kernel Sohcahtoa.)
RE: Polite or Frank?
(17-12-2016 09:03 AM)sneroul the thinker Wrote:  I personally find being polite to be so fake and forced and being frank to be more honest but can seem rude.

This is a nice thread, sir. I have observed that if I'm being polite out of a need to be seen as polite, then this is when my politeness comes off as fake and forced. However, if I'm being polite because that is who I am and I like being that way, then I know that I'm doing my best to be genuine; I know that it's coming from core values and principles that are important to me. Hence, for me at least, acknowledging that being nice and polite is part of who I am (regardless of what people say), makes me more genuine, happy, and relaxed, especially when being faced with unproductive behavior.

Regarding frankness, I find that the number one thing for me to consider is safety. If I'm having a delicate/crucial conversation with someone and I speak my mind too soon, then will this cause the other person to become defensive and possibly withdraw or attack? As a result, from my observations, I'll find some way to positively acknowledge the other person (this must be a genuine acknowledgement) before giving any kind of frank feedback or whatever. In addition, if I'm caught off guard with a crucial conversation, then a polite request to come back to the conversation later is often very helpful for me: it allows me to examine the situation more clearly and to see the other person's side, which increases the likelihood that I'll be more objective and effectively frank in the conversation.

Overall, I'd say that being able to balance frankness and politeness is an art-form. IMO, it is a beautiful sight when a person is able to respectfully assert their individuality with a constructively frank "no" while still being polite/respectful and genuinely trying to understand the other person's perspective; IMO, this epitomizes effective conflict resolution and peacemaking.

"I'm fearful when I see people substituting fear for reason." Klaatu, from The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)
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19-12-2016, 11:37 AM
RE: Polite or Frank?
(18-12-2016 02:23 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(17-12-2016 09:03 AM)sneroul the thinker Wrote:  I personally find being polite to be so fake and forced and being frank to be more honest but can seem rude. I would like to hear some other thoughts 2 or 3 or 4 monkeys working together is better than one.Thumbsup

When my mate referred to his buttcrack as a sandwich, I told him to put a slice of ham and cheese into it with mustard pickles.

He was horrified. Perhaps he prefers mustard? Huh

Laugh out load The guy has no sense of humor. This is something I would say, so I think it's funny as hell. You have plenty of brain left, trust me. Thumbsup
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20-12-2016, 04:09 AM (This post was last modified: 20-12-2016 04:38 AM by Velvet.)
RE: Polite or Frank?
I don't see the how being frank would imply being rude, being frank is about "what" are you going to say, while being polite is about "how" you are saying, you can always be both at the same time.

I can see a frank person being considered insensitive, or even inconsiderate but this is completely different from being rude.

As an example, the character on my profile image is Dr Hannibal Lecter from new series "Hannibal", masterfully executed by Mads Mikkelsen, he is an immensely deceptive psychopath, by no means a frank person, but never rude nonetheless, he actually talks about his take on rudeness by politely saying: "whenever feasable one should always try to eat the rude".

Personally I think that if you are being rude, and you are not doing it purposefully to intimidate or shock someone, then you must have made a bad choice of words or tune, what you need is not to refrain yourself from being frank, but learn how to do it in a polite way...

That which can be destroyed by the truth should be.”
-P.C. Hodgell - Seeker’s Mask - Kirien
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12-01-2017, 04:43 PM
RE: Polite or Frank?
A secretary at a place I worked at had a sign above her desk.

"Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength."

There can be a fine line between rude and frank.

When I shake my ignore file, I can hear them buzzing!

Cheerful Charlie
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12-01-2017, 07:16 PM
RE: Polite or Frank?
I usually start with polite. Fortunately in RL I have a long fuse, and escalate in stages. Around the time that I engage The Unnervingly Polite Voice of Cold, Icy Imminent Death is when I'm asking to speak to someone's supervisor. If you're lucky, at that point I'll just leave in a huff and go home to write an e-mail to head office.

Only a handful of people have ever seen me in full-blown rage, and I intend to keep it that way. It ain't pretty.

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
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13-01-2017, 12:06 AM
RE: Polite or Frank?
(17-12-2016 09:54 AM)pablo Wrote:  I ain't no monkey! Smile

I'm not a monkey either but I do spank one from time to time..
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