Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
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Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
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16-05-2016, 04:45 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 10:37 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(16-05-2016 10:23 AM)Heatheness Wrote:  No, you're not the only one. If I could have really safe sex I'd be the slut I am in my heart. Fuck diseases!




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1. The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
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5. Cucumbers never suffer from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket.... and you know how firm it is
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11. You can go to a movie with a cucumber.... and see the movie.
12. You can go to a drive-in with a cucumber.... and you can stay in the front
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27. Afterwards, a cucumber won't:
...want to shake hands and be friends.
28. ...say, "I'll call you a cab".
29. ...tell you he's not the marrying kind.
30. ...tell you he is the marrying kind.
31. ...call his ex-wife or therapist.
32. ...take you to confession.
33. Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month.
34. Cucumbers won't make you go to the drugstore.
35. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
36. A cucumber a day keeps the OB-GYN away.
37. A cucumber won't work your crossword with ink.
38. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
39. With a cucumber you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the Flu
season.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. A cucumber won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub.
46. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall.
47. Cucumbers don't have sex hangups.
48. Cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots
on.
49. Cucumbers aren't into rope & leather, talking dirty, or swinging with
fruits & nuts.
50. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
51. You can eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
52. Cucumbers never need a round of applause.
53. Cucumbers won't ask: "Am I the best? How was it? Did you come? How many
times?"
54. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your Gynecologist, Ski Instructor, or Hair
Dresser.
55. A cucumber won't want to join your sports group.
56. A cucumber never wants to improve your mind.
57. Cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations.
58. Cucumbers won't ask about your Last Lover.... or speculate about your next
one.
59. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the
refrigerator.
60. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother is over.
61. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
62. Cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on
the pillow.
63. A cucumber won't give you a hickey.
64. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night.... and you won't have to sleep on the wet
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65. Cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
66. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
67. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower.
68. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
69. Cucumbers don't compare you to a center fold.
70. Cucumbers don't count to 10.
71. Cucumbers don't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
72. A cucumber will never leave you ...
...for another woman.
73. ...for another man.
74. ...for another cucumber.
75. A cucumber will never call and say "I have to work late, Honey", and then
come home smelling like another woman.
76. A cucumber never snaps your bra, pinches your butt, or gives you a snuggy.
77. You always know where a cucumber has been.
78. A cucumber never has to call "the wife".
79. Cucumbers never have mid-life crises.
80. A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
81. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
82. You won't find out later that your cucumber ...
...is married.
83. ...is on penicillin.
84. ...likes you - but loves your brother.
85. A cucumber doesn't have softball practice on the day you move.
86. Cucumbers never tell you what they did on R&R.
87. A cucumber won't ask for a promotion just when you're up for a promotion.
88. Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
89. Cucumbers won't wear a leisure suit to your office Christmas party.
90. A cucumber won't leave town on New Year's Eve.
91. A cucumber won't take you to disco and dump you for a flashy outfit.
92. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
93. A cucumber doesn't care if you always spent the holidays with your family.
94. A cucumber won't ask to be put through Med School.
95. A cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually.
96. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
97. Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy".
98. A cucumber won't insist the little cukes be raised Catholic, Jewish, or
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99. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
100. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or
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101. No matter how you slice it, you can have your cuke and eat it too.

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! Big Grin

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16-05-2016, 04:48 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
Why is the word "consensual" in the poll? I should start another poll titled "How many Nonconsensual Sex Partners Have You Had?"

#sigh
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16-05-2016, 04:54 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 04:48 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Why is the word "consensual" in the poll? I should start another poll titled "How many Nonconsensual Sex Partners Have You Had?"




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16-05-2016, 04:55 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 04:48 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Why is the word "consensual" in the poll? I should start another poll titled "How many Nonconsensual Sex Partners Have You Had?"

Because rape is not sex, it's violence/assault.

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16-05-2016, 04:57 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 08:52 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Banjo, I'm fascinated by something. Without getting too graphic, how the hell did you lose your virginity at 9?

He was living on his own in the Australian bush country when he was 8.

(16-05-2016 08:52 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Was it an older woman? Like was she 12? I'm imagining you at 9 kicking a rugby ball around, some cute little girl in pigtails walks by and you nail her on the rugby field. Tongue Laugh out load

She was a Bonobo of indeterminate age. Drinking Beverage

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16-05-2016, 05:29 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
Still kinda surprised this hasn't been moved to the secks section of the forum. If any thread should fit, it would be this.

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16-05-2016, 05:38 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 04:55 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  
(16-05-2016 04:48 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Why is the word "consensual" in the poll? I should start another poll titled "How many Nonconsensual Sex Partners Have You Had?"

Because rape is not sex, it's violence/assault.

I had a woman once tell me that rape wasn't sex - it was being beaten with a penis................

....
Ok --- but what about a guy who has a woman take advantage of him???

....

It happens... I had it happen.... of course, I didn't complain much....... or at all....... but really, I didn't consent.... or complain........

Shit....

Nevermind....

heh...

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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16-05-2016, 05:46 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 05:38 PM)onlinebiker Wrote:  
(16-05-2016 04:55 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Because rape is not sex, it's violence/assault.

I had a woman once tell me that rape wasn't sex - it was being beaten with a penis................

....
Ok --- but what about a guy who has a woman take advantage of him???

....

It happens... I had it happen.... of course, I didn't complain much....... or at all....... but really, I didn't consent.... or complain........

Shit....

Nevermind....

heh...

Yes, women do rape. It's still violence/assault.

I have used that explanation before however not sure how that would translate to being beaten up by a vagina. I guess since they can take a pounding they can give one too.

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16-05-2016, 05:57 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
I just turned 70 years old. I have cohabited with a couple of dozen women in my life, have been legally married 5 times 3 of them within the USA once in Honduras, once here in the Dominican Republic. But this one I am with at present is the only one who cannot understand that I cannot perform sexually 2 or 3 times a day as she would like. She is 54, and claims that she hasn't been with a man for 17 years before me, but I find that incomprehensible. I feel at my age twice a week is doable, not twice a day!
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16-05-2016, 06:11 PM
RE: Poll: How Many Consensual Sex Partners Have You Had
(16-05-2016 05:57 PM)Born Again Pagan Wrote:  I just turned 70 years old. I have cohabited with a couple of dozen women in my life, have been legally married 5 times 3 of them within the USA once in Honduras, once here in the Dominican Republic. But this one I am with at present is the only one who cannot understand that I cannot perform sexually 2 or 3 times a day as she would like. She is 54, and claims that she hasn't been with a man for 17 years before me, but I find that incomprehensible. I feel at my age twice a week is doable, not twice a day!

I feel for you but I feel for her too. I would love to have sex twice a day every day.

Hope you guys can find a compromise.

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