Polyamory
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01-12-2013, 07:38 AM
RE: Polyamory
Just think of it as 365 one night stands with the same person.

Also, on a side note

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01-12-2013, 07:50 AM
RE: Polyamory
Nah, I'm a bitch like that. The only time I have sex without an emotional connection is with my hand.

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01-12-2013, 08:03 AM
RE: Polyamory
(01-12-2013 07:50 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Nah, I'm a bitch like that. The only time I have sex without an emotional connection is with my hand.

You should change your user title to "Prude in High Heels" Thumbsup

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01-12-2013, 08:14 AM
RE: Polyamory
(01-12-2013 08:03 AM)Dark Light Wrote:  
(01-12-2013 07:50 AM)houseofcantor Wrote:  Nah, I'm a bitch like that. The only time I have sex without an emotional connection is with my hand.

You should change your user title to "Prude in High Heels" Thumbsup

You could change yours to seasoning for the reasoning. Tongue

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01-12-2013, 12:52 PM (This post was last modified: 01-12-2013 12:55 PM by BlackMason.)
RE: Polyamory
What about the ugly side of polyamory? I read one of the reasons for people being polyamorous is because of a fear of being left behind/out. It's people who have experienced some sort of trauma in the past and try to avoid negative events like breaking up that lead to negative emotions. This is achieved by easily falling for new people and frequently. Does anyone that claims to be polyamorous here also fall into the above category? I'm thinking the dopamine helps anaesthetise the negative emotions. Or the "falling in love" chemicals are addictive.

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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01-12-2013, 01:05 PM
RE: Polyamory
I'm honestly not cut out for Poly. It's a nice idea but for me..nope. I'm far too possessive, jealous and insecure for that type of relationship.

I've known a few people that have made it work (and it's a lot of work).

It's not about having different relationships (with or without sex) it's about having relationships that are as meaningful with everyone in the loop. Not that everyone has sex with everyone either. But where they are very close friends (everything is out in the open) and don't feel threatened.

Most of the poly relationships I've known, the women weren't involved with each other but became more like sisters or best friends. Both involved with the same guy and opening shared everything with him.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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01-12-2013, 01:12 PM
RE: Polyamory
(01-12-2013 01:05 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I've known a few people that have made it work (and it's a lot of work).

That. Girly and Manly are just too damn lazy for that. There'd be expectations and shit and whatnot that just ain't worth the effort. Tongue

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01-12-2013, 01:14 PM
RE: Polyamory
(01-12-2013 12:52 PM)BlackMason Wrote:  What about the ugly side of polyamory? I read one of the reasons for people being polyamorous is because of a fear of being left behind/out. It's people who have experienced some sort of trauma in the past and try to avoid negative events like breaking up that lead to negative emotions. This is achieved by easily falling for new people and frequently. Does anyone that claims to be polyamorous here also fall into the above category? I'm thinking the dopamine helps anaesthetise the negative emotions. Or the "falling in love" chemicals are addictive.

I certainly have past traumas, and stuff like that does describe me, (though I don't have a fear of being left behind, I'm used to that. I have a fear of LEAVING people behind.)

It's not so much that I love multiple women to cover up or anaethestise the trauma, but more like the trauma makes it harder for me to be in a relationship, but certainly doable.

There is ugly sides to everything man. Big Grin
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01-12-2013, 01:27 PM
RE: Polyamory
I think people are misunderstanding the meaning of polyamory. It's not a relationship among many people, it's simply being in love and maintaining relationships with many people at the same time.

Now that we made that clear, like others, I'm fine with anything anyone wants to do as long as they don't harm others.

As for me, I have never been in love with more than one person at the same time.

I'm sure I wouldn't be ok with it, just as I believe many guys think polyamory = "getting laid with many chicks" and they don't think about it as "your girlfriend having sex with better guys than you". Yeah, the idea of being in love with many people at once sounds nice, but what about when your girlfriend falls for someone who is... better endowed than you and you suddenly cannot please her?

I guess I'm taking it too far, but I'm sure that if my boyfriend fell in love with another girl, it would be exactly because she is different than me and he'd be craving for something different. That means he would crave for something I can't provide, so I'd always feel "less".

I've been in relationships and I have fallen in love with other people. But when I fell in love with the other person, I would realize that I had stopped being in love with the first person in the first place. So I can't really understand the feeling.

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01-12-2013, 01:34 PM
RE: Polyamory
(01-12-2013 01:27 PM)undergroundp Wrote:  I think people are misunderstanding the meaning of polyamory. It's not a relationship among many people, it's simply being in love and maintaining relationships with many people at the same time.

Now that we made that clear, like others, I'm fine with anything anyone wants to do as long as they don't harm others.

As for me, I have never been in love with more than one person at the same time.

I'm sure I wouldn't be ok with it, just as I believe many guys think polyamory = "getting laid with many chicks" and they don't think about it as "your girlfriend having sex with better guys than you". Yeah, the idea of being in love with many people at once sounds nice, but what about when your girlfriend falls for someone who is... better endowed than you and you suddenly cannot please her?

I guess I'm taking it too far, but I'm sure that if my boyfriend fell in love with another girl, it would be exactly because she is different than me and he'd be craving for something different. That means he would crave for something I can't provide, so I'd always feel "less".

I've been in relationships and I have fallen in love with other people. But when I fell in love with the other person, I would realize that I had stopped being in love with the first person in the first place. So I can't really understand the feeling.


Then such is life, and I hope that if it goes down that way, the girl will have enough sense to break it off with the first guy if she is not happy with him anymore.

I don't mind if my partner has sex with other people. In fact, I told her this when we started going out. I said "Look, you know, you can have sex with other guys, I don't mind, but just be sure to tell me about it before you do so. And if you fall in love with him, and out of love with me, then break up with me."

I don't care what she does, it isn't harming me as long as she is safe while she does it. Plus, she said she wouldn't, and I said I wouldn't, so if she does do it, then I can dump her ass faster than the Flash could run around the world.

It's cheating if your partner is not aware of what you are doing, nor has given consent to it.
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