Polygamy
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24-11-2010, 04:23 PM
Polygamy
so guys, what do you think?
Theres a guy in British Columbia who has 36 wives and around 100 kids Confused

I am not against it personally, if multiple consenting adults want to declare themselves a family than I see no problem with it, provided its conducted in a healthy way and any children begot from the union(s) are raised right.
people can choose their spouse themselves, blacks can marry whites, gays can marry, so why are we still in such a rut that we can't allow people to do what they want with their lives when it has <ultimately> no effect on anyone else?


If anyone would like to present Pros and cons in addition to their opinions that would be fine...

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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24-11-2010, 04:53 PM
RE: Polygamy
The idea of monogamy and morality being synonymous is religous in origin. There is nothing immoral about having a polyamorous relationship. Polygamy is not legal in Canada. It's not illegal, it's just that you can't have a legal marriage to more than one person. (At least here in Manitoba) After you marry your first wife/husband, all marriages thereafter are not recognized by the law, and therefore leaves subsequent spouses without legal rights as a spouse. Hence the term polyamorous (poly=multiple/plural, amorous=love). Here we just call it a plural relationship.

My wife and I have a girlfriend. It is more than just sexual, but not yet as involved as a plural marriage. It's very different than the whole "threesome" thing. In fact my wife very rarely has any sexual interaction with our girlfriend. She does, however have a strong emotional relationship with her. What's great about plural relationships, in my view, is the fact that there is more than one person to whom any of the three of us can go to get what we need. That means that if, for instance, my wife needs to be comforted due to some sort of loss, and I have alot happening, and can't be 100% available to her, she has other options. Either go to our girlfriend, or seek some comfort from each of us, thus spreading things out and taking the pressure off everyone. This goes for evrything. Wanna go out tonight? No? That's cool, I'll call the girlfriend. Yes? Cool, let's all go and have some fun turning heads!
There is a downside too. It's complicated. Also, it can be complicated, not to mention it sometimes gets quite complicated. LOL For us, it's worth the work though. All relationships take work, and how much work you're willing to put in can dictate how complicated you can get.

As far as kids go; ours do not know beyond the fact that she is a good friend. Complicating THEIR lives with a plural relationship would mean we would have to be fully commited (read - marriage) and we're just not there. In fact I don't suspect we would be willing to go that route until our kids are grown, simply because number one, it's not that far off, and number two, it would be hard for them since they didn't grow up that way. I do think that children can be raised in a polyamorous environment and be very healthy though. They reap the same benefits as the adults do in terms of support, and must also learn that things are sometimes more complicated (which can be a good lesson if taught properly)


ummmm...yes, I have an opinion on this! LOL. Sorry for the ramble.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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24-11-2010, 05:09 PM
RE: Polygamy
Ah no its alright dude, I wouldn't have made the thread if I didn't want to hear about it xD
We've been watching sister wives in family living class recently so its peaked my interest.
I may experiment with it at some point in the future, but as I am still taken I guess I have to pass. oh well, woe is me.

A friend of mine had a couple of girlfriends last year, don't know if they are all still together but those 2 pretty much never left his side.
lucky bastard :/

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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24-11-2010, 06:40 PM
RE: Polygamy
While I feel that a monogamous relationship is right for me, I have no problem accepting what people feel is right for them. With the increasing breakdown in community it seems something very positive and healthy to have such a large family... something natural about communal living we're moving away from in supposed civilised society.

The Canadian supreme court are trying a case currently on polygamy: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbi...aring.html

It's a very old law that criminalises polygamous relationships. It'll be interesting to see what they decide.
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25-11-2010, 12:11 AM
RE: Polygamy
My only problem with polygamy has nothing to do with the act itself, but who it involves. It is rarely two men to one woman. The idea seems very male oriented. To me it doesn't seem fair that while the male can rely on multiple women, the women can't have the same option. I had a lot a friends try doing it during college. It was mostly a nightmare because of what I pointed out. There is no equality. I'm not sure we, as humans, as capable of living in a truly equal polygimous relationship.

On the other hand if their cool with it than I can't and won't stop them.
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25-11-2010, 01:13 AM
RE: Polygamy
The evolutionary adaption to support your own genes and not someone else's is the most likely reson for a male to have multiple women but not allow his women to have other men. This way he knows that he is the father and is perpetuating only his genes.
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25-11-2010, 02:21 AM
RE: Polygamy
That's a good point obring. What I find interesting is that for our relationship, equality is a cornerstone. And here's the twist; we don't ever involve other men. You may ask, "then it's not equal. You can have other women, but she can't have other men. Isn't that hypocritical?" The reason it's not hypocritical is that we follow one simple rule without fail in our marriage. "Nothing ever happens in our relationship that both parties aren't 100% comfortable with". My wife enjoys having another woman involved with us. It's a source of enjoyment, not jealousy. Same goes for me. I would not, however be comfortable with another man. (Niether would she, but that's a different story) It's partly because I'm not attracted to men, whereas my wife is to women. It might also be partly for the reasons No J described. The part that counts though, is that I'm not ok with it, so we don't do it. No questions asked. If there's something my wife's not ok with the same rule applies.

It's important to keep in mind that at least in our situation, my wife and I are equals. I don't have a girlfriend, WE have a girlfriend. It's not like a mormon family, where the man goes out and finds/is granted new wives. We both need to give the ok to date someone. Either of us can make the decision to break it off if we're not feeling it. Without equality, and the agreement that "it takes both to make it but only one to break it" our plural relationship wouldn't work.

Like I said before, it gets complicated, but it's worth it.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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25-11-2010, 06:28 AM
RE: Polygamy
when I posted this thread I should have titled it polyamory instead of polygamy, I suppose polygamy makes it seem very unfair to women.
The same could be said about polyandry though.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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25-11-2010, 08:48 PM
RE: Polygamy
Just to clarify: polygamy= more than two people in a relationship; polygyny= one man, multiple wives; polyandry= one woman, multiple husbands

The only place that I know of where polyandry occurs regularly is in Tibet, and there, it occurs between a woman and a pair of brothers. However, this is pretty much only done to keep the population stable.

The only thing I have against consensual polygyny is that in most cases, a man is able to have much more children than he would in a monogamous relationship. So, while our planet is having a population crisis, this concerns me. I think a much better solution would be to adopt polyandry in countries where there is a very large population. Of course, the problem with this is that in places where population control is a problem, women do not have a high enough status to be allowed to have multiple husbands :/

That aside, I think the general idea of having multiple people in a relationship could be a benefit for raising children, it could create a good social network, and it would be economical, but it probably could get very messy very fast o.0

"Remember, my friend, that knowledge is stronger than memory, and we should not trust the weaker." - Dr. Van Helsing, Dracula
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26-11-2010, 04:08 AM
RE: Polygamy
(25-11-2010 08:48 PM)SecularStudent Wrote:  That aside, I think the general idea of having multiple people in a relationship could be a benefit for raising children, it could create a good social network, and it would be economical, but it probably could get very messy very fast o.0

Theres a village in BC, Canada named Bountiful that is full of polygamists, they seem to be pretty well self sufficient, or at least enough so that they have plenty to eat.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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