Problems with Christian roommate
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10-01-2015, 10:01 PM
Problems with Christian roommate
Hello everyone. Firstly, it is important to say that I am an atheist with Buddhist leanings and that my roommate is a hardcore Christian. When we first moved in together our freshman year of college, I had no idea that she was a Christian and her spirituality didn't seem like a huge part of her life. We got along well. We signed a lease to an apartment in the spring semester. Now a year has passed since we signed and so much has changed. She told me before we moved in but after we signed that we couldn't be close friends anymore because I would negatively impact her spiritual path with God. We were once best friends. This hurt me but I tried to understand her position and continued to treat her as a friend.

She is constantly telling me that I live a miserable life without a moral basis or the hope for happiness, even though I try to explain that I am very happy and also try very hard to act compassionately towards others. Once she asked me (I kid you not) "if you have no fear of divine punishment, why don't you just kill your family?" no answer was good enough for her moral stance.

Things keep getting worse but our lease isn't' up until the end of the semester. I honestly don't know how to deal with this situation. I feel like I am being dehumanized on a daily basis and that the only reason she still talks to me is to hold on to some sense of duty that she can still "save me."

I constantly feel out of place in my own home. Any advice on how to deal with this (from all perspectives, including any Christian inside perspectives if there are any to be shared) would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!
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10-01-2015, 10:10 PM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
There are loads of hints tips and good advice in Peter Boghossian's book A Manual For Creating Atheists.

In short, 'faith' is the problem ... as a way for deciding what is true. Presenting her with 'facts' such as "but you can kill your whole family and then get forgiven"... not going to work! She won't hear or understand.

For you it's a mindset thing... you have to imaging yourself as a therapist and your flatmate as the patient. That way you'll begin to take it less personally.

I hope.

Hug

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10-01-2015, 10:19 PM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
I don't think there is any way to sugar coat it. You just have to tell her to stop. That if she doesnt want to be friends- fine. But you won't tolerate the insults anymore. You can agree to live politely and be respectfull with each other or she can just stop speaking to you.

if she continues after that, both barrells, start blowing holes in her philosophy. She came to school for an education- give her one.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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10-01-2015, 11:09 PM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
I'd say try to maintain a sympathetic posture, while asking the same from her. Try to remember that her brain has been badly fucked with. Your being a good example might make her reflect on the fact that God has nothing to do with it.
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10-01-2015, 11:51 PM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
Insist that the topic of religion is not to be discussed within the walls of the house. Period, end of story.

By this point making any gesture of acquiescense is a waste of time on your part, you two are now in adversarial roles, she put you there. You can whimper or you can tell the born-again-Censored to back off.

Dude, seriously, grow a pair...no disrespect.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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10-01-2015, 11:54 PM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
Next time she goes out, paint a big pentagram on the ceiling over her bed. Big Grin
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10-01-2015, 11:56 PM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
I'd kill her, and as she's dying say, "You were right!"

Just a little levity.

I agree with asking for boundaries. There are other things that are off limits, why not religion? If that's not enough then do everything you can to put the shoe on the other foot, giving her a taste of her own medicine. That always works best for me.

Check out my now-defunct atheism blog. It's just a blog, no ads, no revenue, no gods.
----
Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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11-01-2015, 12:03 AM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
(10-01-2015 11:54 PM)pablo Wrote:  Next time she goes out, paint a big pentagram on the ceiling over her bed. Big Grin

Too subtle, history2, try this...




“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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11-01-2015, 03:49 AM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
(10-01-2015 11:54 PM)pablo Wrote:  Next time she goes out, paint a big pentagram on the ceiling over her bed. Big Grin

Use transparent glow-in-the-dark stuff that can't be seen with the lights on. Angel
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11-01-2015, 05:58 AM
RE: Problems with Christian roommate
(10-01-2015 10:01 PM)historyhistory Wrote:  She is constantly telling me that I live a miserable life without a moral basis or the hope for happiness, even though I try to explain that I am very happy and also try very hard to act compassionately towards others. Once she asked me (I kid you not) "if you have no fear of divine punishment, why don't you just kill your family?" no answer was good enough for her moral stance.

Just reply with a condescending smile and words like "Sure, whatever" or "Yes dear".

There's no point arguing with her, she won't see reason. If you try to reason with her then she will think that she can convince you otherwise. If everytime she tries to argue with you she feels silly then she may be less inclined to continue.
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