Procrastinating
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24-02-2016, 02:04 PM
RE: Procrastinating
(24-02-2016 01:38 PM)Deltabravo Wrote:  
(24-02-2016 01:21 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  All forums are like that to a certain degree. If you join a forum that discusses movies and you only want to talk about music you'll eventually have issues. Sure people might let it slide if you talk about music used in movies...or they might become annoyed if you constantly push your music agenda down their throats.

You have to decide to move on and find a place that's more suited to you.

Here's the thing. You say that but is that right for someone on a forum which is supposed to discuss ideas which are against the mainstream.

This isn't about movies or music.

Apply your reasoning to a forum for people suffering from racial discrimination. Suppose a core group formed which simply judged people on the basis of whether they "fit" the core group.

What you are saying goes against the grain and philosophy of a forum dedicated to supporting free thought because you play into the "clique" mentality of a group that just insults outsiders because they are outsiders and doesn't try to understand the views of the person even though their views are those which represent the theme of the forum.

Why would you say I should move on? What views have I expressed which are not atheistic? Who has attacked me for not being atheistic? What have they attacked me for? Talking about someone else they don't like? That is just a clique mentality, not atheism and it shouldn't be encouraged here. People who engage in that should move on and find somewhere to talk about inane things, not important things which make some people want to leave their homes, commit suicide etc.

What I was trying to say is all Internet forums are rather similar. They are made up of people can agree and disagree...there will always be an element of cliquish behavior with any group. The pendulum swings and eventually it will change direction.

But I do see your point also and agree it's unfortunate.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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24-02-2016, 02:06 PM
RE: Procrastinating
(24-02-2016 01:53 PM)Deltabravo Wrote:  I went to this lady's house and it was a blackened hell hole. Her son was an alcoholic. There were car parts and tools instead of furniture. The walls were black from mould. She is blind and deaf and can't walk. The hospital records said she hadn't eaten for fifteen days. She looked like something out of Auchwitz.

I took a real estate agent to see the house and she said she felt like crying.

If you have read Heart of Darkness you will understand what I am talking about. Westerners come to places like this and they see an opportunity to get some money from a dying woman and they take it. No rules.

The committee I belong to which asked me to do this on behalf of the embassy had a meeting today and the president tried to reduce the membership of the committee to get me off it because he was orchestrating this horror story.

I now have to care for this lady for the rest of her life and she is getting better. She said yesterday that she could see my face. I think part of her blindness is neurological and now she is gaining weight her brain is repairing itself. Same with her hearing. At that age she just hears noise and can't distinguish words.

I can't talk about this with people it's so upsetting.

This old lady is a real darling too. Such a fighter and so sweet. She is walking with a zimmer now. She had open leg wounds and was being left in bed with a diaper on so she was sleeping in her own excrement. She fought to get out of bed on her own after she came here and now she can get up and make it to the toilet unaided.

She also suffers from dementia so she has no idea a lot of the time where she is or who we are. I sit with her and talk in her ear and she laughs. It is incredible at that age that she still has the ability to laugh. It gives one a real sense of perspective and makes ones own problems seem so trivial.

My mother died of Alzheimer's. For about a year before hand, she was acting strangely but I did not really understand what was going on with her before she was diagnosed. My mother had two master's degrees- a brilliant woman. She lived in a house in upstate New York. I lived an eight hour drive away, and went to visit weekends until she had to be put into a nursing home.
Before her diagnosis the human vultures came out- peope who took advantage of her disability and stole money from her, stole items from her house, one woman actually tried to get my mother's house in her name. They must have noticed when she walked to the local store that she was unable to defend herself. I saw a very ugly side to some people during that time- and saw a lot of people who abused her when they were able to. But, I also saw lot of really good people who helped her out too. I appreciate you for helping her.
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24-02-2016, 02:14 PM
RE: Procrastinating
(24-02-2016 02:02 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Well good night--but just a final thought...You might want to consider posting to the sillier threads--there are actually a lot of intellectuals in those types of threads. Why? Because we work in professional careers that involve a lot of intellectual thought. It's nice to go into silly threads and just blow off steam and have mindless fun when you are constantly *on* all day long.


Hug I agree with you!
That is why I do it! I am here to make friends and let out steam, not get in knockdown drag outs...Big Grin

except when I do...Argue


mostly here to read, and have learned so much , just reading...
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24-02-2016, 02:18 PM
RE: Procrastinating
I think it silly to expect a forum group to only deal with serious issues all the time. No one can handle that kind of load. The whole point is to find like minded people (at least for me) to relax around. I spend very little time in the "serious" threads because I dont want to deal with that crap over and over again.
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24-02-2016, 02:33 PM
RE: Procrastinating
(24-02-2016 02:18 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  I think it silly to expect a forum group to only deal with serious issues all the time. No one can handle that kind of load. The whole point is to find like minded people (at least for me) to relax around. I spend very little time in the "serious" threads because I dont want to deal with that crap over and over again.
Me tooHug
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24-02-2016, 02:49 PM
RE: Procrastinating
"Cliques" sounds like something that is purposefully formed and pursued.

That is not the case here and on many other forums though. It's more that friendship and familiarity grows among regular users, and the longer they stay, the closer they get.

It takes newbies a while to feel comfy enough to feel like they are a part.

Also, because of common past experiences on the forum, the regulars develop some distinct "in-jokes" that you only understand if you have been following for a while.

So, I don't think we have any "cliques" here. We do have people who have been coming here for years and who share this or that like or dislike for a topic.

You run into the very same thing most places you go as a newbie, in real life also.

It's impossible to enter a group of people who are familiar with each other and feel that same familiarity off the bat. It takes time.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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24-02-2016, 03:11 PM
RE: Procrastinating
I don't know if I've necessarily seen cliques here, but I do think there are people that you just click with. But that happens irl too. For instance, Nishi is my brother from another mother. He's Hobo like me, so of course, we clicked instantly Wink

I think the key to having fun on the forum is not taking yourself or other's posts too seriously. If you want to make more friends on here, post to the silly forums. That's how I met all the nuts on my buddy list, anyway Laugh out load After becoming friends due to sillyness, we've had serious convos via pm's or in the personal issues sections, or in the debates sections. There are some extremely smart people on here with a wealth of knowledge who post in the silly sections. Anyway, this has been my experience. I also think people tend to be more themselves and more relaxed in the silly sections so you are more apt to make friends and contacts in those areas, if that's what you are looking for.
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24-02-2016, 03:48 PM
RE: Procrastinating
(24-02-2016 01:15 PM)Deltabravo Wrote:  I came here because I have a lot on my mind and I need somewhere to let it out. I am an atheist and have long had problems arising out of having been raised in the Bible Belt. I had to leave home and never went back.

Yes, forums aren't for everyone. I don't own this forum.

But, where does one go, what does one do? Do you say, of feck it, I'll just not say anything to anyone or do you speak your mind among people who you feel would be the most accepting and least judgmental.

The attitude here seems to be that if you don't fit in exactly to the prevailing mindset, just f off. I have a hard time accepting that this is or should be acceptable in any way in a forum which should be full of people who understand what it is to be isolated in a society which holds wrong beliefs which they won't let go of and tell YOU that it is YOU who have to leave.

Just sayin.

I'll thunk sumore.

Have you tried atheistforums.org?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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