Prophesomething from nothing
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22-06-2011, 04:06 PM
Prophesomething from nothing
Get that! It's a play on words, fellas! See that's called comedy right there!


I want to use this thread to cite prophecies, preferably straight from christians, that are pulled completely out of their ass. I always hear from people who have never read the Bible say things such as, "Well then how could the Bible have predicted 9/11?" and I'm like "what the f... where?"

To which I am usually responded, "See it says right here, the great kingdom shall fall to the heathens." OH how very specific! If the Bible said, 2 tall towers in a city called New York will be knocked down by believers of Allah... then MAYBE you have something to claim. And even then, it's a self-fulfilled prophecy. People would be looking for 2 towers in New York to knock down to make their "divine book" that much more believable.

That is what is so terrifying about the "walls of fire" from the book of Revelation. All it takes is one fanatic getting his hands on some nukes and he can make the Bible come true.

But anyways, I'll start this thread off with the "prophecy" of recently departed Parture.

He claimed that the Bible predicted 200 million military units would be in the Middle East fighting over oil, because of the last half of Revelation 9.


When in fact Revelation 9 is a story about four angels with an army of 200 million horsemen, described as such:

"9:17 And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them, having breastplates of fire, and of jacinth, and brimstone: and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone.

9:19 For their power is in their mouth, and in their tails: for their tails were like unto serpents, and had heads, and with them they do hurt."


and these lionhorseserpent riders kill 1/3 of the earth's population.

Now. How do you get "military units, Middle East, and oil" out of any of that?



[Image: matthews-trumpet6.jpg]

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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22-06-2011, 04:32 PM (This post was last modified: 22-06-2011 04:48 PM by MasterRottweiler.)
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
Accessing brain please wait....
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PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
--------------------------------------

On a serious note; Yeah, thats the most laughable parts of any prophecy you encounter, yes, prophecies are vague, but every one give diferent interpretations, a fine example could be Nostradamus prophecies.

Quote:"In the year of the new century and nine months, From the sky will come a great King of Terror... The sky will burn at forty-five degrees. Fire approaches the great new city..."

For that one I can say that the King of Terror who came from the sky is C'thulhu, Dark Falz (Phantasy Star main antagonist), or whatever mythical being I want.

Others could say its about an asteroid/comet impact which BTW it can happen any time...

"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world.”
-Georgia Harkness.

"La fe es patrimonio de los pendejos. (Faith is patrimony of the dumbfucks)."
-Diego Rivera
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22-06-2011, 05:44 PM
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
BC, remind me what his reply was when you told him what revelation 9 said.

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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22-06-2011, 05:48 PM
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
(22-06-2011 05:44 PM)UnderTheMicroscope Wrote:  BC, remind me what his reply was when you told him what revelation 9 said.

Probably something about 12 people believing it 2000 years ago therefore it MUST be true, followed up with the four most ridiculous 'proofs' mankind has ever managed to come up with and a PRAISE THE LORD/JESUS on the end for good measure with a PS that we are all going to hell with any evil babies who don't accept the lord Big Grin

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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22-06-2011, 06:06 PM (This post was last modified: 22-06-2011 08:09 PM by Buddy Christ.)
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
(22-06-2011 05:44 PM)UnderTheMicroscope Wrote:  BC, remind me what his reply was when you told him what revelation 9 said.

I asked him that last question "How do you get 'military units, Middle East, and oil' out of any of that?" and his only response was "of course it's about oil" and then he continued on his path to annoy the world.


And I realized that my OP was completely biased. If you come across a prophecy that you believe ACTUALLY came true, post that as well. In fact, if anyone can find me a divine prediction in the Bible that couldn't have been the work of man, PLEASE post it here. A single prophecy.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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22-06-2011, 07:40 PM
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
I'm curious about where you always manage to find some crazy picture that depicts exactly what you are talking about in explicit detail? I assume you must craft them yourself under a flickering candle light in the middle of the night... perhaps on a rooftop?

As for prophecies I am almost rereading the OT. Just have to finish the new stephen king and I'l get right on it. It'll be like going down memory lane, I haven't read it in ... 9 years. Holy hell I'm getting on in years.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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22-06-2011, 08:11 PM
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
There are tons and tons of bible pictures online. I guess they realize their followers aren't the reading type, so they make pretty pictures.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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22-06-2011, 08:32 PM
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
I think the most effective response to the claims of prophecy is to show them similarly convincing prophecies from various other holy books. Christians actually believe that it all makes sense, so what's to stop them reading a passage from the Qur'an and seeing how it sorta sounds like whatever crap it's said to? If they disagree with the vague interpretation presented by muslims or whoever else, then ask why, and apply their answer to their own interpretation/prophecy.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo

"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do." - Voltaire
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22-06-2011, 09:00 PM
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
I don't know what to say here, but I want to post. I've got so many random people prophesizing on the bus it's not funny. Most are generic natural disasters proving the end times. One guy said that St. Louis was the center of hell, I almost went ballistic when he went on to blame homosexuals and people who try to act like the other gender. I really wish I didn't need the bus for work, cause I would've told him what's what.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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22-06-2011, 09:52 PM (This post was last modified: 22-06-2011 10:02 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Prophesomething from nothing
(22-06-2011 09:00 PM)Lilith Pride Wrote:  I've got so many random people prophesizing on the bus it's not funny.

When this happens to me I typically put on my most desperate face and spit out "OH SHIT! WE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!". Conversation's usually over.

(22-06-2011 09:00 PM)Lilith Pride Wrote:  One guy said that St. Louis was the center of hell, I almost went ballistic when he went on to blame homosexuals and people who try to act like the other gender.

It's for the best that you didn't go all GirlyAss on him. He would've ended up in the hospital and you'd've ended up in jail. That said, I've been to St. Louis and I'm not at all sure that it's not the center of hell. Wink

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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