Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
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11-01-2011, 08:01 PM
Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
"According to biblical principles, a marriage is between a man and a woman. So we have to say, 'What happens when a nation makes a decision that goes against God's principles?' Well, often what happens is that nature begins to speak to us." Sage, if completely unfounded, wisdom from "respected prophet" Cindy Jacobs.

In the video below, Jacobs connects many important dots in the latest acts by a wrathful God. First, the Arkansas city where all those dead birds fell out of the sky was called Bebee. The current governor of Arkansas? Also named Bebee. See where I'm going with this? Second, DADT was originally put forward by former governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton. Now is it starting to make sense?

Okay, idiots, it goes like this: God is mad that we repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell, because the more honest we allow people to be about their sexuality, the more likely they are to someday marry one another, in violation of "biblical principles." So, God decided to kill some blackbirds in the sky. He wanted to connect the bird massacre to Bill Clinton, because he introduced DADT, but he felt like killing them over Clinton, Arkansas would be too obvious. So he murdered those blackbirds in Bebee, AR, to connect them to the current governor, who connects them to the former governor.

Additionally, this prophet is a lunatic dressed in a purple leopard-print ensemble. I don't see how you could need more proof that God works in mysterious ways.

There's a video also:

http://www.nerve.com/news/politics/proph...n-arkansas

My reason for being is to serve as a cat cushion. That is good enough for me. Wink
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11-01-2011, 08:19 PM
 
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
If God was so pissed off that DADT was repealed, why didn't he intervene and stop this from happening? Why kill 6 innocent people? How do you worship such a massive murdering asshole?

Fuck these people. Let's just hope this guy doesn't go on a killing spree as well.
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11-01-2011, 08:48 PM
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
The "God" these people worship seems pretty passive-aggressive to me. I mean seriously, what's with all the cryptic "messages"?

My reason for being is to serve as a cat cushion. That is good enough for me. Wink
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11-01-2011, 08:57 PM
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
Then why did he kill all the birds in Louisiana and the fish in Maryland? Can he just not aim?

Shackle their minds when they're bent on the cross
When ignorance reigns, life is lost
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11-01-2011, 09:51 PM
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
God's never had good aim, that's how Mary got pregnant... He was aiming for her face.
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11-01-2011, 11:30 PM
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
(11-01-2011 09:51 PM)TheKetola Wrote:  God's never had good aim, that's how Mary got pregnant... He was aiming for her face.

Holy shit that was hilarious bro Tongue

Oh well, let God be mad. If he's gonna throw a hissy fit we can always put him in time out.

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12-01-2011, 09:54 PM
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
(11-01-2011 09:51 PM)TheKetola Wrote:  God's never had good aim, that's how Mary got pregnant... He was aiming for her face.

Big Grin

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12-01-2011, 11:52 PM
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
I like how everyone attributes something to god AFTER it happened , no-one said before "If DADT is repealed birds will die and some people too".
It just amuses me , Nostradamus I can get , he was only human , but apparently god is a crap aim and a bad speaker - his flock never gets it.
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14-01-2011, 09:29 AM
 
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
(12-01-2011 11:52 PM)gaglamesh731 Wrote:  I like how everyone attributes something to god AFTER it happened .

good point... with all the yahoos that "god" "speaks" with daily, one would think that he would tip someone off that a 9 year old is going to get shot today... "save her or i'll kill some birds"..... good goin god... your masterful...
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19-01-2011, 11:45 AM
 
RE: Prophet reveals repeal of DADT responsible for bird deaths in Arkansas
Can someone explain why s/he(god) didn't bother to do the same in other countries that allow openly gay people in their military? Because I know that Canada did in the '90s, do we recall what major strike "god" did then?
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