Public Recognition for Private Scars
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08-11-2014, 07:47 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
(08-11-2014 01:43 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Now I'm home with a mix of feelings. FFS, I'm the only student my professor ever gave a 100% to AND wants to publish me. Yet I cannot tell anyone about this. I'm congratulated for having a shitty childhood. I'm about to publish what amounts to a lie, but with the potential to help people struggling with depression/family issues.

Zis is vot I meant by 'profit'. Ja, it's a bit obscure I guess... Anyway, not all that is typed in English is meant to be taken literally Tongue

(08-11-2014 03:37 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(08-11-2014 03:17 AM)morondog Wrote:  Publish. You can tell teach what you said in OP, sure she'll be even more chuffed. English teachers are weird like that. But add disclaimer like what DLJ said, good to go. I don't think you're making your shitty childhood into profit, you are profiting from your experience sure, but also your great writing skill. Own the fuck outta that shit.

When did profit come into this? Publication does not equal profit in this case. I'm not sure what magazine this is, but I'm assuming it's college related and may just be the equivalent of a college newspaper or something.

Etc. Ja. What I was saying is fuck the guilt, publish it. It's your creation no matter what. Be proud of it. It's good work Smile

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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08-11-2014, 08:30 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
am I the only one who read this and thought that you are still without a voice?


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08-11-2014, 11:10 AM (This post was last modified: 08-11-2014 11:25 AM by Im_Ryan.)
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
(08-11-2014 07:33 AM)unfogged Wrote:  According to your profile you are 19 and live in an area that is pretty religious, at least compared to many places. Are you on your own or still dependent on parents or others for financial support? If publishing and being found out will threaten that then that makes a difference.

The instructor's reaction tells me that you have a strong ability to write clearly and powerfully and that you have a compelling story. Publishing will probably help others and, believe it or not, will probably help you. Being open about problems can take away their power over you.

I agree with adding a disclaimer that this is based on a true story but details have been changed and specific incidents have been added or omitted. You could also possibly rewrite the essay with that in mind and fictionalize it even more by combining incidents and even fabricating new ones.

That said, if you aren't ready then wait. You can always publish later. Don't let anybody pressure you into either publishing or not.

Yes, I still live with my parents and my family is a major contribution to my education. If my name was ever released, this would, in no doubt, not only jeopardise my education fund, but ruin any family connection I have at the moment. Like I said, for the most part I speak honestly about personal events that I do not tell people. I think if I add the disclaimer, change a few details and get my teacher to submit the work on my behalf (so my name is never associated with the essay) I would feel more comfortable with this. I should probably explain the situation to my teacher.

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08-11-2014, 11:18 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
Also ask where it would be published. Being published in some obscure educational journal is very different to being published in the newspaper that your parents read!
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08-11-2014, 11:22 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
(08-11-2014 07:46 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Congrats on writing an essay that made such an impact. It's difficult to impress English professors so that shows you must have done a wonderful job of telling a story.

If you can have this published anon. I think I would. The fear of discovery should be small.

It's not easy to put things out into public view but it may well be a piece of your healing.

Ultimately the choice is yours but either way it's quite impressive to be considered a writer with the talent to be submitted for publication.

I am sorry this is such a stressful thing for you to have to deal with. Heart

Thank you, and yes, I thought I did terrible. In my opinion, my in-class essay wasn't even my best work compared to my out of class essays. In any other situation I would be telling everybody, but the content that wowed my teacher is why I can't.

(08-11-2014 07:47 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(08-11-2014 01:43 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Now I'm home with a mix of feelings. FFS, I'm the only student my professor ever gave a 100% to AND wants to publish me. Yet I cannot tell anyone about this. I'm congratulated for having a shitty childhood. I'm about to publish what amounts to a lie, but with the potential to help people struggling with depression/family issues.

Zis is vot I meant by 'profit'. Ja, it's a bit obscure I guess... Anyway, not all that is typed in English is meant to be taken literally Tongue

(08-11-2014 03:37 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  When did profit come into this? Publication does not equal profit in this case. I'm not sure what magazine this is, but I'm assuming it's college related and may just be the equivalent of a college newspaper or something.

Etc. Ja. What I was saying is fuck the guilt, publish it. It's your creation no matter what. Be proud of it. It's good work Smile

Ah okay I get it. Fair enough I suppose.

(08-11-2014 08:30 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  am I the only one who read this and thought that you are still without a voice?

I would agree with you, and I think my professor would too. She is now aware of my anti social behaviors and now, at least partially understands why. One of the things she told me gave me a lot of respect for her, "Do I agree with your beliefs? No, but I respect them and will fight for them. Professor (her name) has got your back" (fight for them to be published). At the very least, I know I have a good teacher who will support me.

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08-11-2014, 11:24 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
(08-11-2014 11:18 AM)Mathilda Wrote:  Also ask where it would be published. Being published in some obscure educational journal is very different to being published in the newspaper that your parents read!

It's not about my parents reading it, I have other family that goes to that school who could potentially recognize enough details to put two and two together and bring it to my parent's attention.

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08-11-2014, 11:37 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
I would publish it. You never know who will read it and be helped. Your teacher was moved by your words. That's impressive.

I'm sorry this has you so torn up inside tho -- I can understand.

Hug


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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08-11-2014, 12:30 PM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
(08-11-2014 11:37 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I would publish it. You never know who will read it and be helped. Your teacher was moved by your words. That's impressive.

I'm sorry this has you so torn up inside tho -- I can understand.

Hug

Thank you momsie Hug

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12-11-2014, 12:02 PM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
My $0.02 is that it should be published. Maybe not at the moment because of your financial situation but if it is that compelling, imagine how many others in your area may also be suffering through the same feelings and also feel alone. Imagine if Dan Barker never sent his letters, none of his subsequent work would have come to be and the freethought community would be a very different place. I think that you should at least be honest with your teacher as far as you are comfortable doing. I understand the counseling thing, I was in counseling for years as an adult but sometimes it is good to just vent to an open ear. I know that the FFR foundation was trying to get a network of secular counselors who aren't going to try to convert you but I don't know the status of it.

On another note: have you ever considered writing the full version of what you would have written if you knew that no one would ever see it? I mean to write it but never show anyone. If you like writing that may be good for you. Just a thought.

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13-11-2014, 04:08 AM
RE: Public Recognition for Private Scars
(12-11-2014 12:02 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  My $0.02 is that it should be published. Maybe not at the moment because of your financial situation but if it is that compelling, imagine how many others in your area may also be suffering through the same feelings and also feel alone. Imagine if Dan Barker never sent his letters, none of his subsequent work would have come to be and the freethought community would be a very different place. I think that you should at least be honest with your teacher as far as you are comfortable doing. I understand the counseling thing, I was in counseling for years as an adult but sometimes it is good to just vent to an open ear. I know that the FFR foundation was trying to get a network of secular counselors who aren't going to try to convert you but I don't know the status of it.

On another note: have you ever considered writing the full version of what you would have written if you knew that no one would ever see it? I mean to write it but never show anyone. If you like writing that may be good for you. Just a thought.

I'm not stopping my teacher from trying to publish it, but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with it. I'm actually quite paranoid now.

I have never written my full life story, and doubt I ever will. I've only trusted one person enough to confide my entire life story to, and that person abused my trust afterwords. Other people get bits and pieces, but never the full picture for different reasons.

I've come to terms with my past for the most part, I'm no longer suicidal and have set life goals for myself. Although, I cannot dwell on the thoughts for very long before I fall into depression again, which is exactly what happened after this incident. My grades have already dropped and I'm having trouble staying motivated. Right now is not the time to sort out my issues to say the least.

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