Q & A with GOD!!!
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09-04-2014, 08:50 PM
Wink Q & A with GOD!!!
The following cut & pasted from God's, on facebook, Q&A. Man, I love God!
[Image: 582020_326494834104893_1359489396_n.jpg]




AND NOW THE ANSWERS TO ASK GOD:

1. HUMAN: If I don’t sin, did Jesus die for nothing?
GOD: Yes, but don’t worry about not sinning. You’re going to sin plenty in life because just about every natural human impulse counts as a sin. It’s all-good, dudes. Jesus totally died so you could drink beer on the toilet.

2. HUMAN: Why did Ultimate Warrior have to die God? Is there Wrestling in Heaven?
GOD: He had to die because everyone has to die eventually. Of course there’s wrestling in Heaven and it’s spectacular. I’ve never lost a Heavenmania title. The LORD’s record is ∞-0. That might be in jeopardy now that the Ultimate Warrior is here.

3. HUMAN: Why do religious people go to the hospital when they're sick? Why don't they just pray to get better?
GOD: The people that go to the hospital are smart enough to know that the LORD works in mysterious ways, such as X-rays and rectal thermometers. Of course, some people just pray to get better. You just don’t hear about them because they’re dead.

4. HUMAN: Dear God, why do religious people refute science, while on a smart phone connected to wireless internet at a mega church created by science?
GOD: Because science says things they don’t want to hear, like they came from monkeys and the world’s climate is changing. Religious people only want to hear the things they want to hear, like they’re good people and they’re going to Heaven.

5. HUMAN: Dear God: Why do Christians focus more attention on how Jesus died than how he lived?
GOD: Because that was the most interesting part! I mean sure, Jesus walked on water and healed the sick. But people don’t care that much about water-sports or healthcare. On the other hand, people are always enthralled by a gruesome murder.

6. HUMAN: Do you have enough money up there, God? Why do people keep on insisting you need more to spread your word?
GOD: No, I haven’t gotten any church donation money, not for a long time. I should really talk to the Pope about that. I might have to start popping knee-caps. Bitch better have My motherfucking money.

7. HUMAN: if the Bible is the Word of God then how come so many so-called believers don't even read it?
GOD: The Bible is a huge book and most people are too lazy to read the whole thing. And why would they? Becoming a believer is not like becoming a Black Belt or an Eagle Scout or something. You don’t have to actually read the Bible. You just have to say you’re a believer and you are one! It’s super easy, so everyone does it. It’s a good thing too. Actually reading the Bible has been proven to be the leading cause of atheism.

8. HUMAN: Hey God, when are you going to do something to help Africa?
GOD: Funny you should ask, mortal. Paul Buchheit, a former Google employee and the developer of gmail, is a fan of God and recently contacted the LORD. These days he’s working with Julia Kurnia, the founder of Zidisha.org. This service helps find lenders for small businesses in Africa.

Anyway, they hooked us up! Use this link and you'll get a free $25 to lend!!
https://www.zidisha.org/i/Jehovah
Give it a try! Help an African NOW!

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10-04-2014, 06:20 AM
RE: Q & A with GOD!!!
I haven't been there in a while. I love how often he gets a poster that freaks out about blasphemy and how he dismisses them. It kind of makes me wish I would have created that account years ago, although chances are it's older than my atheism.
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10-04-2014, 07:26 AM
RE: Q & A with GOD!!!
(10-04-2014 06:20 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  I haven't been there in a while. I love how often he gets a poster that freaks out about blasphemy and how he dismisses them. It kind of makes me wish I would have created that account years ago, although chances are it's older than my atheism.

For example...
[Image: 1959582_770499876371051_1235539008_n.jpg]

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10-04-2014, 08:49 AM
RE: Q & A with GOD!!!
Ahahahahaaa! Laugh out load

The question is: was that staged, or was he able to just go to her page and find the answers to both of her question that she left public?

I'm seriously hoping it was the second one, and she missed that and thinks that FaceBook God is the for real deal.
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10-04-2014, 09:09 AM
RE: Q & A with GOD!!!
(10-04-2014 08:49 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  Ahahahahaaa! Laugh out load

The question is: was that staged, or was he able to just go to her page and find the answers to both of her question that she left public?

I'm seriously hoping it was the second one, and she missed that and thinks that FaceBook God is the for real deal.

He could have chanced his hand and pm'd a friend of hers for the answers too? Big Grin

I'll just play the 'can I help you' lick!!!
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10-04-2014, 10:08 AM
RE: Q & A with GOD!!!
I'm willing to bet he actually found it out some way. Everything else he post like this always seems honest. It has to be that it's right on her wall, or he PMed a friend, or he just did a google search of her name and found information, maybe even on an old MySpace, and she's too stupid to realize how easy that actually is to do.

I'm thinking he found the middle name. Not too hard to do. But unless she had an old post in which she said who her old love was, he may have just found a bunch of old photos of her with an ex-boyfriend, and just took a guess that it was right, an waited to see how she responded.

If he got it wrong, then we would never have posted this, making the odds of getting it right at least once, much more realistic.

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