QueensChosen Go Fund Me
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06-04-2015, 05:51 PM (This post was last modified: 06-04-2015 08:10 PM by GirlyMan.)
QueensChosen Go Fund Me
So I'm watching these little ma&pop pizza parlors and florists cashing in on hundreds of thousands of dollars on Go Fund Me for refusing to cater to dykes and faggots and I'm thinking to myself "Why can't we cash in on this?" Some atheist cannon fodder already tried the "Go Fund Me - I'm getting threats to my immortal soul because I won't cater to Christians!!!!" and he got like $6. So then I thought of QueensChosen.

"Hello, my name is QueensChosen and I am a devout Christian cosmetologist specializing in Brazilians. My religious convictions prevent me from providing my exceptional guaranteed stubble-free talents to fudgepackers and muffdivers because they are only using it to enhance their perverted sexual perversions. Unfortunately, that is like 100% of my customer base. The Lord then spoke to me directly and said "Oh QueensChosen! Brazilians have an important hygienic purpose for the indigent and downtrodden and preventing the spread of disease to the general population. Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." So now I have been called by The Word of The Lord Jesus Christ to Brazilian the homeless. Please fund me. - Yours In Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior Who Died on the Cross for the Salvation and Forgiveness for All Our Sins of All Mankind for Like Forever and Ever, QueensChosen"

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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06-04-2015, 06:14 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
Girly waxes lyrical!

Just ... Genius

Bowing

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06-04-2015, 06:54 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
When I saw the absurd amount of money that Pizza place raised in GoFundMe, I was tempted to start up my own campaign. I wouldn't lie, set anybody or myself up, do anything outrageous, or make any promises though. Just some good old-fashioned shameless begging.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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06-04-2015, 07:53 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
Wait, back the truck up. Tell me more of this pizza place that raised a shit ton of money for start-up purposes, this is relevant to my interests.
You mean to tell me that I have been doing it all wrong and all I need to do is arrange pepperoni in the shape of Jesus's face and ??? profit?

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06-04-2015, 07:55 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
Google indiana pizza gofundme
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06-04-2015, 09:34 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
People get money for such stupid things and I'm over here trying to go to grad school.

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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06-04-2015, 09:51 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
(06-04-2015 09:34 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  People get money for such stupid things and I'm over here trying to go to grad school.

People give to "good" causes not to good people.

You need to turn yourself into a 'cause'.

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06-04-2015, 11:11 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
(06-04-2015 09:51 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(06-04-2015 09:34 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  People get money for such stupid things and I'm over here trying to go to grad school.

People give to "good" causes not to good people.

You need to turn yourself into a 'cause'.

Like making potato salad? Consider

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/324...tato-salad

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06-04-2015, 11:13 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
(06-04-2015 07:53 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Wait, back the truck up. Tell me more of this pizza place that raised a shit ton of money for start-up purposes, this is relevant to my interests.
You mean to tell me that I have been doing it all wrong and all I need to do is arrange pepperoni in the shape of Jesus's face and ??? profit?

Also, you need to refuse to service gays, and the Evangelical right-wing fuktards will throw money at you in an effort to thwart that massive liberal-media-gay-agenda conspiracy. They have a massive hate-boner for Jesus.

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06-04-2015, 11:45 PM
RE: QueensChosen Go Fund Me
(06-04-2015 06:14 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Girly waxes lyrical!

Laughat Razor wit.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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