Question for Ex-Believers
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02-08-2014, 11:22 PM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
From 7th to 12th grade, I played in my school's praise band (it was a middle and high school combined). Every Wednesday my school held chapel; one for the middle schoolers and then one for the high schoolers. I played keyboard, and my last two years I even led the band in rehearsals. We did hymns for special services like Christmas, but we mostly played these Christian rocks songs and the like. If there's anything I miss, it's the community and friendships I made.

Some of my former teachers have written on my FB wall, saying the dumbest things ever since I came out as an atheist. Things like "But you had so much talent that god gave you," and, "How can you continue making music with your god given talent after you've denied him?" It's all a croc. I take pride in my musical abilities because I worked on them and I honed them, not some god. If anything, I take my experience in praise band as an advancement in my music. It's tough, but I'd try to remember those times as being close with like-minded people. And you're absolutely right, you can feel just as happy and full of life when listening to other kinds of music. You'll be fine!

"Did IQs just drop sharply while I was away?" --Ellen Ripley
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04-08-2014, 09:34 AM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
(11-06-2014 08:08 PM)Punk Pumpkin Wrote:  Do any of you ever find yourself choking up and feeling like crying when you listen to some of your old favorite songs from church? Sometimes I stumble upon some long forgotten songs I used to sing in church that held such a special place in my heart at the time. Songs I would get so caught up in with my hands in the air, eyes closed with tears streaming down my face, feeling that I was truly experiencing god. Feelings of great joy and happiness. I can't help but feel those same feelings when hearing these songs now, but at the same time when I actually listen to the lyrics I feel sick. It doesn't help that also sang on the worship the team for a while, so I also know a lot of the "hand motions" that we did for the kids. Part of me feels guilty...part of me wants to let go and just sing these songs and get lost in them like I use to, but I feel like if I did that it would just be so weird since I am an Atheist. I can't help but think of what a Christian would say to me if they were watching me. They would tell me I have those feelings even still when listening to these songs because it's "god speaking to me and calling me back".

There are a few hymns/songs that I still like. I wouldn't say I "choked up" listening to them, but I still somewhat felt what I used to when I was religious. That being said, it's also met with an odd feeling where it reminds me that I don't believe it, which makes it feel quite hollow at the same time. It's a pretty weird feeling.

I occasionally play a religious song or carol on my violin both because I know them and I like the way they sound. Also, it's a bit less odd if you remove the words from the song.


On a related note: my wife still listens to religious music on occasion. There's one song in particular that bothers the everloving shit out of me. It has the lyrics "I just want to be with you. I just want this wait to be over.". Yes, it's a song about Christians looking forward to death and being forced to wait. Ugh. I do not miss that shit in my life.


(11-06-2014 08:08 PM)Punk Pumpkin Wrote:  I know better than that though. I know music has a way of affecting the chemicals in your brain. I felt the same joy and happiness during church worship as I do at a rock concert. Music has a way of transporting you back in time, and if that time you experienced happy feelings, then you will always feel that way when you listen to that song in the future. Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else ever experiences this.

Yep.
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04-08-2014, 09:47 AM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
A million times yes!

I still listen to old songs from that time in my life. I still enjoy the sound, though the words do register differently now. I've cut the creepier ones out of my playlists, but a lot of them are generic enough or just so beautiful I don't care.

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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04-08-2014, 07:13 PM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
The question doesn't really apply to me, but I thought I might weigh in on it. I don't REALLY consider myself an ex-believer because, I cannot honestly say I ever truly believed. I TRIED to believe. I prayed, and went to church, and did everything I thought I was supposed to.

I guess, in the end, I am just an Ex-Catholic. Smile

When I see my friends and family engaged in what I used to engage in, honestly it creeps me out, and makes me feel bad that I once participated in the ritual of it all. Sad

"You're very clever, young man, very clever, but it's turtles all the way down!"
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07-08-2014, 08:52 AM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
I don't find myself emotional, but I do find myself singing, humming, or whistling some of my favorites from back in the day. The singing was the only fun part of church, so it's deeper in my memory and I remember the songs for the music, not the words.

That being said, sometimes I'll be at work typing and randomly start singing "Jesus is Coming Soon" as one would sing Bohemian rhapsody, where you try and sing all parts at once. And my friends, who know I'm atheist, look at me like I'm crazy.

And yet another interesting topic I am not interested in.
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07-08-2014, 09:01 AM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
(07-08-2014 08:52 AM)AmishLatinJew Wrote:  I don't find myself emotional, but I do find myself singing, humming, or whistling some of my favorites from back in the day. The singing was the only fun part of church, so it's deeper in my memory and I remember the songs for the music, not the words.

That being said, sometimes I'll be at work typing and randomly start singing "Jesus is Coming Soon" as one would sing Bohemian rhapsody, where you try and sing all parts at once. And my friends, who know I'm atheist, look at me like I'm crazy.

:O yes! The ones with harmonies and descants are the best ones! I'm singing that one to myself now, haha.

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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07-08-2014, 09:16 AM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
(07-08-2014 09:01 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  
(07-08-2014 08:52 AM)AmishLatinJew Wrote:  I don't find myself emotional, but I do find myself singing, humming, or whistling some of my favorites from back in the day. The singing was the only fun part of church, so it's deeper in my memory and I remember the songs for the music, not the words.

That being said, sometimes I'll be at work typing and randomly start singing "Jesus is Coming Soon" as one would sing Bohemian rhapsody, where you try and sing all parts at once. And my friends, who know I'm atheist, look at me like I'm crazy.

:O yes! The ones with harmonies and descants are the best ones! I'm singing that one to myself now, haha.

HAHAHA. This is a curse at it's finest.

And yet another interesting topic I am not interested in.
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07-08-2014, 09:38 AM
RE: Question for Ex-Believers
(11-06-2014 08:08 PM)Punk Pumpkin Wrote:  Do any of you ever find yourself choking up and feeling like crying when you listen to some of your old favorite songs from church? Sometimes I stumble upon some long forgotten songs I used to sing in church that held such a special place in my heart at the time. Songs I would get so caught up in with my hands in the air, eyes closed with tears streaming down my face, feeling that I was truly experiencing god. Feelings of great joy and happiness. I can't help but feel those same feelings when hearing these songs now, but at the same time when I actually listen to the lyrics I feel sick. It doesn't help that also sang on the worship the team for a while, so I also know a lot of the "hand motions" that we did for the kids. Part of me feels guilty...part of me wants to let go and just sing these songs and get lost in them like I use to, but I feel like if I did that it would just be so weird since I am an Atheist. I can't help but think of what a Christian would say to me if they were watching me. They would tell me I have those feelings even still when listening to these songs because it's "god speaking to me and calling me back".

I know better than that though. I know music has a way of affecting the chemicals in your brain. I felt the same joy and happiness during church worship as I do at a rock concert. Music has a way of transporting you back in time, and if that time you experienced happy feelings, then you will always feel that way when you listen to that song in the future. Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else ever experiences this.

Nope, I do choke up thinking about how much time I wasted believing in a fictional sky hero.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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