Quick Easter questions
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23-06-2017, 06:41 PM
Quick Easter questions
In the myth of jesus, he's crucified, left for dead on a pole, presumably died, buried in a tomb and then 70 years later, someone writes about his resurrection three days after he presumably died ?
(Hope all of that is semi correct, according to the myth)

My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?
People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
Where is he returning from ?

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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23-06-2017, 07:25 PM
Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 06:41 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?

He was beamed up to heaven.

Quote:People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
He keeps coming back. Which return are you referring to?

Quote:Where is he returning from ?

He most likely has been dying on other planets for the sins of aliens. No telling which one he will come from.
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23-06-2017, 07:36 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 06:41 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  In the myth of jesus, he's crucified, left for dead on a pole, presumably died, buried in a tomb and then 70 years later, someone writes about his resurrection three days after he presumably died ?
(Hope all of that is semi correct, according to the myth)

My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?
People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
Where is he returning from ?

> Actually, he is presently residing in South Park, CO. He hosts a weekly program called Jesus and Pals on the local cable network. Big Grin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_re...ters#Jesus
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23-06-2017, 07:41 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 06:41 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  In the myth of jesus, he's crucified, left for dead on a pole, presumably died, buried in a tomb and then 70 years later, someone writes about his resurrection three days after he presumably died ?
(Hope all of that is semi correct, according to the myth)

My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?
People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
Where is he returning from ?

What's this all got to do with Easter?

Easter is the celebration of the fertility goddess Estre and the coming of spring (for those in the Northern Hemisphere), which is symbolised by bunnies and eggs.
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23-06-2017, 07:58 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 07:41 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(23-06-2017 06:41 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  In the myth of jesus, he's crucified, left for dead on a pole, presumably died, buried in a tomb and then 70 years later, someone writes about his resurrection three days after he presumably died ?
(Hope all of that is semi correct, according to the myth)

My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?
People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
Where is he returning from ?

What's this all got to do with Easter?

Easter is the celebration of the fertility goddess Estre and the coming of spring (for those in the Northern Hemisphere), which is symbolised by bunnies and eggs.

> Another example of Christians usurping a pagan holiday.
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23-06-2017, 08:06 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 06:41 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  In the myth of jesus, he's crucified, left for dead on a pole, presumably died, buried in a tomb and then 70 years later, someone writes about his resurrection three days after he presumably died ?
(Hope all of that is semi correct, according to the myth)

My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?
People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
Where is he returning from ?

In the story he flew into the clouds. But while his body hovered in the clouds his soul went to hell to free all the touetured souls that went to hell before his arrival. He got to go body and soul into heaven.

No i dont believe he was resurrected. If the story holds any truth (highly doubtful) the ressurection part is proably the biggest streach.

Retuening from? Fuck if i know.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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23-06-2017, 10:08 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
I don't know all the answers to your questions, but after careful analysis of the Easter story, the knowledge of Jesus's life functions returning, and the holiday's associated symbolism, I do have one indisputable fact that I was able to derive:

Jesus is laying a WHOLE BUNCH of eggs.

(Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, cut back on the fiber.)

"If I ignore the alternatives, the only option is God; I ignore them; therefore God." -- The Syllogism of Fail
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23-06-2017, 10:48 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 07:25 PM)KUSA Wrote:  He most likely has been dying on other planets for the sins of aliens. No telling which one he will come from.

So don't wait up, then?

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
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23-06-2017, 10:49 PM
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 07:41 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Easter is the celebration of the fertility goddess Estre and the coming of spring (for those in the Northern Hemisphere), which is symbolised by bunnies and eggs.

(Springy G waves and starts handing out bonbons and toy bunnies)

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
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23-06-2017, 10:52 PM (This post was last modified: 23-06-2017 10:59 PM by jennybee.)
RE: Quick Easter questions
(23-06-2017 06:41 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  In the myth of jesus, he's crucified, left for dead on a pole, presumably died, buried in a tomb and then 70 years later, someone writes about his resurrection three days after he presumably died ?
(Hope all of that is semi correct, according to the myth)

My question
If he returned from the dead, where is he ?
People are awaiting his return.
Do they not believe he was resurrected ?
Where is he returning from ?

He's in heaven. He's not going to come back until Revelation. Then it'll be like Rambo:First Blood, Jesus Edition Wink

Yes, they believe he was resurrected. They believe he'll come back again some day because there must have been some magic in that old top hat they found...oops sorry wrong story, that's Frosty the Snowman. Tongue

Jesus is busy racking up his frequent flyer miles so he can come back and visit us from Heaven.
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