Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
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25-02-2014, 02:06 PM (This post was last modified: 25-02-2014 02:09 PM by TheStraightener.)
Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
How many times have you heard this shit?

Scenario:
Maggie was experiencing some difficulties. She opened her bible and she read a verse pretty much immediately that made so much sense to her and made her feel so much better and was convinced god was speaking to her and personally reassuring her. Praise The Lord and his bible.

So let's look at the possibilities that made this amazing thing happen:

A) that verse never existed until Maggie opened the bible and god wrote it for her there and then. That verse ain't in anyone else's bible otherwise it wouldn't be a personal message from god.

B) when god inspired to write the bible thousands of years ago he said 'oh and by the way, write this verse in for Maggie' and hoped it wouldn't be altered or mistranslated over the next couple of millennia.

C) god thought 'oh Mary is having a bit of trouble, I'll refer her to a verse i wrote for someone else a few thousand years back (thus making god a lazy uncaring bastard who couldn't bothered to do somehing personal for her, he Just directed her to an old stock answer).

D) it's bullshit.


So after analysing the above, which answer is most likely?
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25-02-2014, 02:11 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:06 PM)TheStraightener Wrote:  How many times have you heard this shit?

Scenario:
Maggie was experiencing some difficulties. She opened her bible and she read a verse pretty much immediately that made so much sense to her and made her feel so much better and was convinced god was speaking to her and personally reassuring her. Praise The Lord and his bible.

So let's look at the possibilities that made this amazing thing happen:

A) that verse never existed until Maggie opened the bible and god wrote it for her there and then. That verse ain't in anyone else's bible otherwise it wouldn't be a personal message from god.

B) when god inspired to write the bible thousands of years ago he said 'oh and by the way, write this verse in for Maggie' and hoped it wouldn't be altered or mistranslated over the next couple of millennia.

C) god thought 'oh Mary is having a bit of trouble, I'll refer her to a verse i wrote for someone else a few thousand years back (thus making god a lazy uncaring bastard who couldn't bothered to do somehing personal for her, he Just directed her to an old stock answer.

D) it's bullshit.


So after analysing the above, which answer is most likely?


I'll go with E.

The Bible contains so many ambiguous passages, that a person looking for answers in difficult times, will be able to 'massage' whichever passage they read to fit their situation.

The same person, in better times, may read the same passage, and they will still be able to get it to fit their situation.

The Bible, 'The Big Book of Multiple Choice'.
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25-02-2014, 02:12 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
Or F) She already had an existing emotional connection to the content of the bibal, which was reinforced upon reading it, and she actively sought out one verse for which she had a particular preference toward, making her feel better.
Maggie may also be schizophrenic due to her feelings of being 'spoken to' through the book by her deity.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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25-02-2014, 02:15 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
You're begging a question.

Why isn't this a viable option?

E) God used a verse to comfort Maggie during a time a need. While this verse wasn't written for Maggie nor did it pertain to Maggie's situation per se, God understood her need and used it to relate a sense of comfort to her in a time a need. Similar situations are seen when people find inspiration or comfort in other people's writings or works. Those were not written for them, but the person used them to relate to their situation.

With that... I do believe E) seems to be the most likely... in an all around sense... whether religious or secular... it fits either way... it just depends on how "God" is defined for that individual.

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25-02-2014, 02:17 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:15 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  You're begging a question.

Why isn't this a viable option?

E) God used a verse to comfort Maggie during a time a need. While this verse wasn't written for Maggie nor did it pertain to Maggie's situation per se, God understood her need and used it to relate a sense of comfort to her in a time a need. Similar situations are seen when people find inspiration or comfort in other people's writings or works. Those were not written for them, but the person used them to relate to their situation.

With that... I do believe E) seems to be the most likely... in an all around sense... whether religious or secular... it fits either way... it just depends on how "God" is defined for that individual.

That's just a re-write of C.

He's not being personal or giving special help. Just pointing her towards a stock answer. Feel the love
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25-02-2014, 02:21 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:12 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Maggie may also be schizophrenic due to her feelings of being 'spoken to' through the book by her deity.

Isn't interesting that, when a Christian says that 'God' speaks to them through the Bible, most Christians will have no problem with that.

But if a Christian claims that 'God' speaks to them through their dog or their toaster, the vast majority of Christians will suggest they see a medical professional.

Yet, they take offense if we tell them that the first example is no less delusional than the second.
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25-02-2014, 02:23 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:15 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  You're begging a question.

Why isn't this a viable option?

E) God used a verse to comfort Maggie during a time a need. While this verse wasn't written for Maggie nor did it pertain to Maggie's situation per se, God understood her need and used it to relate a sense of comfort to her in a time a need. Similar situations are seen when people find inspiration or comfort in other people's writings or works. Those were not written for them, but the person used them to relate to their situation.

With that... I do believe E) seems to be the most likely... in an all around sense... whether religious or secular... it fits either way... it just depends on how "God" is defined for that individual.

Additionally, if this was true and god sent her to a verse that would suit. How does his thought process go?

"Hey Maggie, go to Verse 3 Chapt... Damn, she's using a KJV.... Errr.. Try Verse 2 Chapter 5... Yeah that'll be ok"
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25-02-2014, 02:39 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
Yeah I'm goin with D....
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25-02-2014, 02:44 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
I was sitting in Sunday School once and opened my Bible to one of the pages about slavery. Since it so totally, obviously, could not possibly have been D, I wonder what God was trying to say with that one.
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25-02-2014, 02:45 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:23 PM)TheStraightener Wrote:  Additionally, if this was true and god sent her to a verse that would suit. How does his thought process go?

"Hey Maggie, go to Verse 3 Chapt... Damn, she's using a KJV.... Errr.. Try Verse 2 Chapter 5... Yeah that'll be ok"

It goes something like this.

Maggie is depressed and turns to her Bible for consolation. She first turns to a random portion that says:
"Then he went out from there and hanged himself" Matt. 27: 5

Discouraged, she turns to another portion that says:
"Go and do thou likewise" Luke 10: 37

In desperation, she turns to a third portion that says:
"That thou doest, do quickly" John 13:27

It works everytime.
Doc
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