Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
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26-02-2014, 10:35 AM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:11 PM)Simon Moon Wrote:  
(25-02-2014 02:06 PM)TheStraightener Wrote:  How many times have you heard this shit?

Scenario:
Maggie was experiencing some difficulties. She opened her bible and she read a verse pretty much immediately that made so much sense to her and made her feel so much better and was convinced god was speaking to her and personally reassuring her. Praise The Lord and his bible.

So let's look at the possibilities that made this amazing thing happen:

A) that verse never existed until Maggie opened the bible and god wrote it for her there and then. That verse ain't in anyone else's bible otherwise it wouldn't be a personal message from god.

B) when god inspired to write the bible thousands of years ago he said 'oh and by the way, write this verse in for Maggie' and hoped it wouldn't be altered or mistranslated over the next couple of millennia.

C) god thought 'oh Mary is having a bit of trouble, I'll refer her to a verse i wrote for someone else a few thousand years back (thus making god a lazy uncaring bastard who couldn't bothered to do somehing personal for her, he Just directed her to an old stock answer.

D) it's bullshit.


So after analysing the above, which answer is most likely?


I'll go with E.

The Bible contains so many ambiguous passages, that a person looking for answers in difficult times, will be able to 'massage' whichever passage they read to fit their situation.

The same person, in better times, may read the same passage, and they will still be able to get it to fit their situation.

The Bible, 'The Big Book of Multiple Choice'.

Just the same with self help books, Tarot cards, horoscopes and anything else people turn to for "guidance"...

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26-02-2014, 02:49 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
One would have to be pretty lucky to open the Bible onto a verse that made any sense at all.


Attempt Number 1:

"God has a message for me! I shall open the Bible and see this message!"

Leviticus 11:42: Whatsoever goeth upon the belly, and whatsoever goeth upon all four, or whatsoever hath more feet among all creeping things that creep upon the earth, them ye shall not eat; for they are an abomination.

"Okay, I just need to try again!"

Attempt Number 2:

"Come on, big money, random page!"

Ezra 2:45: The children of Lebanah, the children of Hagabah, the children of Akkub,

"God is testing me!"

Attempt Number 3:

"I believe! I believe!"

1 Samuel 6:19: And he smote the men of Beth-shemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the LORD, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the LORD had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter.

"Eh, screw it, I'm converting to Islam. Maybe that god will have a message!"

The Qur'an 92:11: Nor will his wealth avail him when he plummets.

Bowing

(And yes, I did open the books to random pages.)

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26-02-2014, 03:29 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
Religion can be extremely emotionally satisfying. I think people who are looking for something to grasp onto in times of need are especially vulnerable to it. You're powerless but there is someone who loves you, you have purpose, there is nothing but light and love and family at the end.. There is a certain amount of control you have over not just your life, but the lives of those around you. It is emotionally satisfying.

Not a great movie, but After Earth had a line I liked about an aspect of fear- its your mind searching for answers that aren't there. Fear, for the most part, is emotionally unsatisfying.

I think for those born into religion, the hardest part with atheism is the removal of that emotional satisfaction. It was something I struggled with for months. I spent my whole life thinking I'd see my grandparents again, I'd see my parents, my wife and I would be together in Heaven...and all the people who did bad and wrong would get their just desserts. When I let go of religion, all I had was a big question mark. I came to realize that it doesn't necessarily imply that the question mark is anything better or worse than the heaven/hell combo.

The religion of one age, is the literary entertainment of the next.
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26-02-2014, 08:59 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
(25-02-2014 02:11 PM)Simon Moon Wrote:  I'll go with E.

The Bible contains so many ambiguous passages, that a person looking for answers in difficult times, will be able to 'massage' whichever passage they read to fit their situation.

The same person, in better times, may read the same passage, and they will still be able to get it to fit their situation.

The Bible, 'The Big Book of Multiple Choice'.

I agree with this summation. It's very similar to reading a horoscope. The ambiguity is strong enough that you can read any of them and make it apply to your own life.

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26-02-2014, 09:27 PM
RE: Quiz: God spoke to me through the Bible
I just opened my bible to a random page:

Leviticus 46:11
"DemonicLemon, do your fucking chemistry homework, it's due at midnight."

Oh.
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