ROAR
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09-05-2015, 01:12 AM (This post was last modified: 09-05-2015 03:12 AM by Heretikus.)
ROAR
This is not the kind of post that anyone who knows me would ever expect me to voice. I'm seen as the tough, cool-headed guy. The one who doesn't ever lose his shit or need help. That being said, I just want to ROAR! As loudly as possible over the insipid religious nonsense that causes people to say the meanest things. This post is really more of a vent than anything else so bear with me as I ROAR! I'm so hurt right now I don't really know what else to say. Here is a synopsis: my wife is VERY religious. One of those speaking-in-tongues bat-shit crazy Pentecostals who just knows that I'm going to hell and that God is going to judge me for my disbelief. She just made this very vague prediction that something BAD is going to happen to me to show me that God is real. There are no specifics mind you, just that something BAD will happen. Well no shit Sherlock, the odds are that eventually something bad is gonna happen to everyone eventually but she will take that and twist it into a judgement from God and will use that as evidence that He is real and of course throw it in my face whenever that vague something bad happens. I'm conflicted because of several reasons. On the one hand I love and care for her. We have kids (2, one 12 & one 13). We've been married for nearly 15 years. When we got together I was in church (we are both pastors kids). It took me a while to deconvert and realize the truth that the bible was not the Holy Inerrant Word of God and was instead filled with errors and contradictions written by man. So now I'm wondering what do I do now? Do I leave & possibly scar my kids by divorcing or do I try & stay at least until the kids are 18 & out of the house. I am usually the one dispensing the sage advice but this situation is a dilemma that I just can't quite seem to wrap my head around and make a good decision. Hence the title and why this is me just simply roaring into the silent void of the Internet hoping that I make the right choice. Intellectually, I know I'm not alone but damn if I don't feel like the loneliest person on the planet right now.

ROAR!

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge." - Charles Darwin
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09-05-2015, 10:39 AM
RE: ROAR
(09-05-2015 01:12 AM)Heretikus Wrote:  This is not the kind of post that anyone who knows me would ever expect me to voice. I'm seen as the tough, cool-headed guy. The one who doesn't ever lose his shit or need help. That being said, I just want to ROAR! As loudly as possible over the insipid religious nonsense that causes people to say the meanest things. This post is really more of a vent than anything else so bear with me as I ROAR! I'm so hurt right now I don't really know what else to say. Here is a synopsis: my wife is VERY religious. One of those speaking-in-tongues bat-shit crazy Pentecostals who just knows that I'm going to hell and that God is going to judge me for my disbelief. She just made this very vague prediction that something BAD is going to happen to me to show me that God is real. There are no specifics mind you, just that something BAD will happen. Well no shit Sherlock, the odds are that eventually something bad is gonna happen to everyone eventually but she will take that and twist it into a judgement from God and will use that as evidence that He is real and of course throw it in my face whenever that vague something bad happens. I'm conflicted because of several reasons. On the one hand I love and care for her. We have kids (2, one 12 & one 13). We've been married for nearly 15 years. When we got together I was in church (we are both pastors kids). It took me a while to deconvert and realize the truth that the bible was not the Holy Inerrant Word of God and was instead filled with errors and contradictions written by man. So now I'm wondering what do I do now? Do I leave & possibly scar my kids by divorcing or do I try & stay at least until the kids are 18 & out of the house. I am usually the one dispensing the sage advice but this situation is a dilemma that I just can't quite seem to wrap my head around and make a good decision. Hence the title and why this is me just simply roaring into the silent void of the Internet hoping that I make the right choice. Intellectually, I know I'm not alone but damn if I don't feel like the loneliest person on the planet right now.

ROAR!


Sounds like you are going through a lot. I was in a relationship where I was the religious crazy one and he was the non-believer. It really did create some problems in our rship. I remember one time we had some extra clothes for goodwill and i told my bf we should grab one of the jackets because it was freezing out and we could give it to a homeless person. Well, we drove not more than a few miles into the city and guess what a homeless man was holding up a cardboard sign saying all he wanted was a jacket. So I gave him the jacket and gave my boyfriend a whole speech about how that *coincidence* was evidence for God yadda yadda. Well, my ex just rolled his eyes at me and we got into a fight about it. So I can understand how your wife might get feelings about things and think they are *from* god. When you are in religious mode everything that happens seems as though it was put there from god. It is hard to separate fact from fantasy when you are living in a delusion.

With all that said, it's clear that you are very heated now. I wouldn't make any major decisions right now because you seem really agitated and making major decisions when u r in a roar-worthy state never ends well. Have you tried marriage counseling? Has your wife actually read the whole Bible? I know I have said this numerous times on here--but it is the truth--the only way I knew the bible was nuts and God didn't exist--was by actually reading the entire Bible. I was spoonfed passages for years and i am wondering if the same thing happened to your wife? If that's the case, I don't fault her for her beliefs because I was the same exact way.
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11-05-2015, 07:15 AM
RE: ROAR
My $0.02.

Do your children know of your disbelief? Have they taken the kool-aid? These are pretty huge things in my marriage. My wife is a believer, although not nearly as hardcore as yours is. When asked whether I am going to hell, she takes the easy way out and says she doesn't know. While I really can't relate with the spouse part, I can relate with the children. Personally, I really don't care what my wife thinks, but I want my children to make up their own minds and not be brainwashed. The real dilemma as I see it is what is best for your children? If you have had enough, what are the chances she will push for full custody and minimize your contact? The danger as I see it is that if you split up, will that cause her to reinforce the bubble around the kids and without you there, will they see that there are other ways of thinking? Tough thing man. Hang in there.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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