Racist Granny?
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11-08-2013, 11:21 AM
RE: Racist Granny?
(11-08-2013 10:15 AM)JAH Wrote:  I must comment on something although it should have been done on the first page. I have been busy moving. I am not a minority.

I watched both my aunt and my mother descend into dementia. My aunt taught for years in Seattle in a middle school that became over time predominately african american. My mother lived in a community (with me obviously) that was predominately european american and had its ugly elements. In dementia neither ever, ever, ever made rude comments about another person because of their ethnicity. That was because of the way they were raised and because of the people they were.

To excuse a person in dementia when they make inappropriate comments because of the dementia is wrong. Dementia may as said above remove filters, it may also reveal true personality.

No, it's not wrong. Dementia can completely alter one's personality, it's not jut removing a filter.

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12-08-2013, 10:33 AM
RE: Racist Granny?
Chas, I read quite a bit of an internet search that was "dementia and personality change". I will retract my general statement about people in dementia not making inappropriate comments, they do.

I will however state that it is my feeling that people in dementia who make inappropriate comments on others based on the others ethnicity are expressing deep felt beliefs that they had previously suppressed.

My aunt and mother who never spoke ill of another person without specific reason and never for their ethnicity, never did so in dementia. It went against their fundamental nature. I know this is a small sample size and accept that.
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12-08-2013, 11:41 AM
RE: Racist Granny?
(12-08-2013 10:33 AM)JAH Wrote:  Chas, I read quite a bit of an internet search that was "dementia and personality change". I will retract my general statement about people in dementia not making inappropriate comments, they do.

I will however state that it is my feeling that people in dementia who make inappropriate comments on others based on the others ethnicity are expressing deep felt beliefs that they had previously suppressed.

My aunt and mother who never spoke ill of another person without specific reason and never for their ethnicity, never did so in dementia. It went against their fundamental nature. I know this is a small sample size and accept that.

Dementia, Altzheimers, there are many ways for this to manifest itself. You sound like you have been very lucky. People get totally out of control, poop in the living room, yell and scream, their brain is scrambled, they will say things they heard and not things they think, they get agressive physically and mentally, the personality ceases to exist entirely. There is no personality, there is no attitude, nothing that has been learned in life exists anymore.

I don't know what your relatives had, but if they maintained their personality, it wasn't classic Altzheimers. Altzheimers patients only retrieve their personality for shorter and shorter periods as the disease progresses.

Alzheimers patients will make a lot of fuss and noise and will say whatever is going to make other people stop and look at them. That is the last stage before total oblivion, before they cease to notice other people.

You can't make a blanket statement like you did about a disease that is so varied. One of my grandmas had dementia and she had it for over 10 years without ever ceasing to function entirely or having a personality change. It wasn't actual Alzheimers, it was some other form of dementia. She just couldn't remember shit, it didn't affect her personality at all. Probably this is what your relatives suffered from.

Actual Alzheimers is a totally different thing, the issue is not the forgetfulness, it's that no one can manage Alzheimers patients at home after they have reached a certain stage of the disease because of belligerence and verbal abuse.

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with what the person was like before the disease struck them down. The very nature of the disease is the altering of the personality.

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12-08-2013, 01:25 PM
RE: Racist Granny?
Try searching the same thing for Alzheimers:

Alzheimers and personality change

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12-08-2013, 02:02 PM
RE: Racist Granny?
Dom, I read through several of the above linked to sites. I do admit that I do not know for sure that my mother suffered from Alzheimer's. My sister specifically requested that she be autopsied for it but she never got any confirmation one way or another. I do know that whatever it was it was hereditary as her mother, brother, sister and her all suffered from dementia in the later stages of long lives. Her other two sisters died much earlier than the general onset for the family.

I did find an interesting point in one of the links your search led to. It basically said long suppressed feelings or behaviors may become more prominent. None indicated specifically that inappropriate comments about other ethnicities should be expected.

I will stand by my previous comments. Inappropriate comments about another ethnicity should not be excused by dementia. They should be attributed to a flaw in the person making them, not their dementia.
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12-08-2013, 02:17 PM (This post was last modified: 12-08-2013 02:20 PM by Hobbitgirl.)
Re: Racist Granny?
Dementia is a blanket term for many kinds of Neuro diseases (alzheimer's, huntington's, Parkinson's,) to name a few.)
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12-08-2013, 02:42 PM
RE: Racist Granny?
(12-08-2013 02:02 PM)JAH Wrote:  Dom, I read through several of the above linked to sites. I do admit that I do not know for sure that my mother suffered from Alzheimer's. My sister specifically requested that she be autopsied for it but she never got any confirmation one way or another. I do know that whatever it was it was hereditary as her mother, brother, sister and her all suffered from dementia in the later stages of long lives. Her other two sisters died much earlier than the general onset for the family.

I did find an interesting point in one of the links your search led to. It basically said long suppressed feelings or behaviors may become more prominent. None indicated specifically that inappropriate comments about other ethnicities should be expected.

I will stand by my previous comments. Inappropriate comments about another ethnicity should not be excused by dementia. They should be attributed to a flaw in the person making them, not their dementia.

No, JAH. There is no reason to single that one thing out. The science does not support that.

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12-08-2013, 02:46 PM
RE: Racist Granny?
(12-08-2013 02:02 PM)JAH Wrote:  Inappropriate comments about another ethnicity should not be excused by dementia. They should be attributed to a flaw in the person making them, not their dementia.

Quote:their dementia
=
Quote:a flaw
Yes

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12-08-2013, 03:14 PM
RE: Racist Granny?
Well, I am going to excuse any and everything an Alzheimers patient does. (BTW, listen to the others, dementia and Alzheimer are not necessarily the same).

I had a friend who brought his uncle, (an Alzheimer patient midway or so in the disease) for a visit to my house. We were sitting around talking and uncle got up to look out the window behind us. After they left I discovered that he had peed on the floor lamp.

That is normal. The fact that it took two of us to load him into the car, and my friend got sucker punched in the process, is normal. My friend's uncle committed suicide in a lucid moment just days later. He couldn't bear to be cognizant of what had become of him. He was a Buddhist and the most peaceful person you would ever meet.

These were the only people with dementia I ever encountered, my aunt and my friend's uncle, both of whom had actual Alzheimer, and my grandma who had lost her short term memory completely but that was all.

JAH, not all memory related diseases are Alzheimer, and they can look very, very different from each other. I would bet good money that your relations did not have Alzheimer but instead something else that caused memory loss and confusion. Alzheimer patients are in no way in control of their brain and anything they do or say is in no way reflective of the kind of person they used to be.

To my knowledge, there are no Alzheimer patients who do not become aggressive and obnoxious at some stage of the disease.

I feel strongly about that, and I investigated it, because my uncle could not get it in his thick head that my aunt, his wife, was not responsible for the attacks she launched at him. I felt terribly sorry for the both of them. But it was worse on him as he was fully cognizant and took everything she did personal. There are no good or bad people in Alzheimer.

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12-08-2013, 07:27 PM
RE: Racist Granny?
OK, my personal experience is so limited that to make a generalized conclusion from it was wrong. I have concluded that probably my mother, aunt and grandmother did not have Alzheimer's as violent acts seem to be common and the family members I am most familiar with regarding their dementia never did anything like punching someone. I will say I was quite young when my grandmother died.

For those of you not familiar with dementia it can be awful to watch. I came close once to killing my mother when I thought I could get away with it and I thought her former self would have wanted me to if she knew the condition she was in. In death she looked so much more like the woman I had known my whole life instead of the woman she had been for her last 4-5 years. No fun.
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