Racist or not?
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11-10-2013, 09:18 PM
Racist or not?
So this came up in a conversation between Hughsie and I, and I wanted to hear the input of others. I thought it would make an interesting thread topic, so hopefully it doesn't sound dumb or cause any problems.

I struggle finding a way to word this correctly, so hopefully the message isn't taken out of context or misunderstood.

Is it racist to find people of a particular race unattractive compared to people of other races? For example, when a white person is asked "Do you date black people?" and the person responds "No, I'm not racist, but I'm just not attracted to black people." Are they being racist at all, or is preference different from racism?

Polite responses please.
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11-10-2013, 09:28 PM
RE: Racist or not?
Sounds like a preference. It sounds as though she is saying "don't think of me as racist for thinking this." Admittedly she could have used a better response.
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11-10-2013, 09:32 PM
RE: Racist or not?
Agreed with grizzly. People have aesthetic preferences.

For example, I like guys with dark hair and usually don't find blonds and redheads attractive. Some people like people who are very thin, some people like larger people. The same thing can go for things like skin color, facial features, etc.
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11-10-2013, 09:33 PM
RE: Racist or not?
I think for some there is an attraction, or preference as noted by grizzly, to those who are similar to themselves. A comfort in the sameness. Just as there are those that are attracted to other races or to people seen as exotic. If we are talking strictly about appearance, therefore the visual, I don't see that as racist.

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11-10-2013, 09:39 PM
RE: Racist or not?
For some people, I'm sure it is, though. Like I have very racist relatives, and I'm sure they wouldn't date anyone who isn't white. But that's not the same as just not finding a person attractive.

Also what Anj said. Though the "sameness" depends a lot on the environment. Where I was raised, 99.9% of the people were white. In another city where there is more diversity, people of other backgrounds might not even seem "exotic." Though some people also seem fetishistically attracted to certain races, like they're attracted the the race and not the individual (similar to a "chubby chaser" who is more interested in the woman's size than the woman herself). But that's different too.

My mom gets visibly uncomfortable in the company of black people. It's really embarrassing. She went to visit me at college once, and the only empty seats in the cafeteria were at a table filled with members of the football team. All of them happened to be black. I knew some of them, my roommate dated one of them. And you could tell my mom was freaking out the whole time. Because she came from the same town as me, but never traveled, never went to college, was never around anything but small town white people. I digress as usual. But I mean that, in her case, and she's a widow now, she'd never consider dating a nonwhite person because she's not even comfortable being around them.

I'd say it's not necessarily racist, though.
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12-10-2013, 02:19 AM
RE: Racist or not?
No one can tell you who to date. Dating is personal. It's *you* who will end up living with that person, if the dating works out. So you have to be comfortable with them. As such, no, I don't think it's racism.

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12-10-2013, 02:32 AM
RE: Racist or not?
I think it can stem from racism, but isn't necessarily racist.
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12-10-2013, 03:30 AM
RE: Racist or not?
Only if one honestly finds the first person more attractive than the second one. Wink
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And while I don't like calling it racist, I think it's kinda sad and constrictive. Often, however, it's just lack of familiarity, or exposure, to a certain type of people, looks, what have you, and some people are only attracted to what is familiar.

In my, personal, experience, the race of a person disappears from the picture maybe half an hour after I've met them and has no bearing whatsoever on how I feel about them (and I'm not talking only romantic feelings).

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12-10-2013, 03:43 AM
RE: Racist or not?
(12-10-2013 02:32 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I think it can stem from racism, but isn't necessarily racist.

Agree. I would just word it differently.
It's not racist in itself, but it can stem from racism.

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12-10-2013, 04:24 AM
RE: Racist or not?
I don't think it's racist at all. Just like some guys prefer big women, and some prefer petite women, some prefer dark women, some don't. However, there is an evolutionary instinct to prefer those more similar to you than those different than you. Most people will prefer to stay within the same race. I am among them. I do not find most black women attractive. Those that I do find attractive generally have lighter skin and don't have dominate black features.

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