Random Reinterpretations
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
23-10-2012, 03:04 AM (This post was last modified: 23-10-2012 03:31 AM by fstratzero.)
Random Reinterpretations
I'm bored so I thought it's about time we make a fun thread.

Rules are simple

find a random bible verse
http://www.stevenmarkford.com/mobi/rando...verse.html

Reinterpret it.

post!

NOTE: It's basically like playing a very bad mentally inept apologist.

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like fstratzero's post
23-10-2012, 03:10 AM (This post was last modified: 23-10-2012 03:13 AM by fstratzero.)
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Isaiah 30:21

21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

­What this is really saying is laying off the drugs is a good idea!Consider

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes fstratzero's post
23-10-2012, 03:16 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Psalm 119:105

105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light to my path.

The Bible predicted the invention of letter-shaped LEDs.

[Image: China_led_resine_letter2011171106440.jpg]

[Image: IcJnQOT.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Vosur's post
23-10-2012, 03:18 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Proverbs 19:21

21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Porn gives god a boner.

[Image: IcJnQOT.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Vosur's post
23-10-2012, 03:22 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Psalm 55:22

22 Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.

Homeless people should stay where the fuck they are.

[Image: IcJnQOT.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Vosur's post
23-10-2012, 03:23 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Joshua 11:11 They annihilated everyone who lived there with the sword – no one who breathed remained – and burned Hazor.

What this really means is they were on a hunting trip, killing an invasive species of alien insects who have a king instead of a queen.

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
23-10-2012, 03:27 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Ephesians 2:8-9

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Don't be a Calvinist.

[Image: IcJnQOT.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Vosur's post
23-10-2012, 03:27 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Lamentations
4:9 ט (Tet) Those who died by the sword are better off than those who die of hunger, those who waste away, struck down from lack of food.

You see this really means starving kids in africa need more swords!

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like fstratzero's post
23-10-2012, 03:27 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
I've posted mine before.

Genesis 2: 18-20
The Lord God said it is not good for man to be alone. ...etc.
The man gave names to all the cattle, all he birds of the air, and all the wild animals; but none proved to be a suitable partner for the man.

1. God was too stupid to know what was a suitable partner.
2. He and Adam conspired, and Adam had a good ole time with bestiality.
(Maybe god watched ?)

Yay god.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein Certified Ancient Astronaut Theorist
Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things" (KJV)

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Bucky Ball's post
23-10-2012, 03:34 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Romans 6:22

22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.

The Bible predicts Calvinism. Oh wait...

[Image: IcJnQOT.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Vosur's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: