Random Reinterpretations
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23-10-2012, 07:11 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Mary was “found to be with child through the Holy Spirit,” (Matt. 1:18, NJB)

"I know what I'll tell Joseph...."
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23-10-2012, 07:17 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
(23-10-2012 07:04 AM)Vosur Wrote:  Job 1:3

3 His possessions included 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys; in addition he had a very great household. Thus he was the greatest of all the people in the east.

Good for him. Fuckin' poser.

You're just seething with jealousy
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23-10-2012, 07:26 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
3 John
1:13 I have many things to write to you, but I do not wish to write to you with pen and ink.

I've Alzheimers and I can't find a fucking thing. Instead, I'll just talk to you through, I don't know, something nearby....yes, that bush over there! Now what can I do to make it seem impressive?
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23-10-2012, 08:10 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Nahum 3:6

3:6 I will pelt you with filth; I will treat you with contempt; I will make you a public spectacle.

Going to the optometrist was quite an exercise back in the day...
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23-10-2012, 09:15 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Lamentations 3:8

8 Also, when I cry out desperately for help, he has shut out my prayer.

Prayer doesn't work.
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23-10-2012, 08:35 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
“Concerning his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh” (Rom. 1:3–4, KJV)

I know he's the son of god too....look mate....this is the bible....I'm allowed to contradict myself
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24-10-2012, 10:07 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Micah 3:7 The prophets will be ashamed; the omen readers will be humiliated. All of them will cover their mouths, for they will receive no divine oracles.”

Hey the bible did mention atheists!

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
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24-10-2012, 10:22 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Micah 7:8
8 My enemies, do not gloat over me! Though I have fallen, I will get up. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.

Don't teabag fallen enemies. That's just mean.
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24-10-2012, 10:25 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Proverbs 18:6
6 The lips of a fool enter into strife, and his mouth invites a flogging.

Don't bitch or you'll get your face smashed in.
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24-10-2012, 11:05 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Isaiah 45:7

I form the light and create darkness. I make peace and create evil. I the lord do all these things.

What this really means is that your fricken god is evil. And he is probably a giant disco ball who resides in Flatbush and still lives with his mother.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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