Random Reinterpretations
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24-10-2012, 11:20 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Quote:Judges 19:18 The Levite said to him, “We are traveling from Bethlehem in Judah to the remote region of the Ephraimite hill country. That’s where I’m from. I had business in Bethlehem in Judah, but now I’m heading home. But no one has invited me into their home.

The homeless Jew said "I'm headed to Bethlehem, Judah, up in the hills. I'm a hillbilly stuck with you damn city-slickers. None you you bitches would let me crash at your place so I said fuck it, might as well go back home."

Quote:1 Corinthians 15:16 For if the dead are not raised, then not even Christ has been raised

If you don't see regular folks turning into zombies, then Jesus didn't either dumbfuck.

Quote: Ezekiel 19:7 He broke down their strongholds and devastated their cities. The land and everything in it was frightened at the sound of his roaring.

He went to their most powerful cities and blew their places to shit. Everyone ran and shit their pants when he did his war-cry.


This was fun, good idea.

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25-10-2012, 12:43 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
(23-10-2012 05:53 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you...” (Luke 1:26–35, KJV).

Beware of shadowy characters standing by your bed.

But...
(23-10-2012 05:53 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you,
How did you miss that part??

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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25-10-2012, 12:45 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Romans

14:14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.

So, dude, when I ask you to take a shower, or use some deodorant or something....I really don't care that you can't smell you. K?

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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26-10-2012, 02:29 AM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
(25-10-2012 12:43 PM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  
(23-10-2012 05:53 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?” The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you...” (Luke 1:26–35, KJV).

Beware of shadowy characters standing by your bed.

But...
(23-10-2012 05:53 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you,
How did you miss that part??

I didn't
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21-02-2013, 08:21 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
I wonder if there are any more....

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
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21-02-2013, 08:33 PM (This post was last modified: 21-02-2013 08:46 PM by Vosur.)
RE: Random Reinterpretations
There always are. Yes

Joel 3:3
3 and they cast lots for my people. They traded a boy for a prostitute; they sold a little girl for wine so they could drink.

Human trafficking is totally fine. Are you thirsting for booze? Don't worry about it, all you need to do is sell a child (into slavery). Are you feeling horny? It's all right, just trade a boy for a prostitute and you're good to go.

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21-02-2013, 09:02 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Jeremiah 20:13
Sing to the Lord! Praise the Lord! For he rescues the oppressed from the clutches of evildoers.

Except for Jews who lived in the Third Reich.

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21-02-2013, 09:06 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
Oh you two, at it again! Good! Moar! Big Grin

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21-02-2013, 09:10 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
1 Samuel 19:24
He even stripped off his clothes and prophesied before Samuel. He lay there naked all that day and night. (For that reason it is asked, “Is Saul also among the prophets?”)

This one speaks for itself...

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21-02-2013, 09:13 PM
RE: Random Reinterpretations
1 Corinthians 14:5 ASV
Now
I would have you all speak with tongues, but rather that ye should
prophesy: and greater is he that prophesieth than he that speaketh with
tongues, except he interpret, that the church may receive edifying.

Telepathy is the way to go. Thumbsup

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