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01-01-2017, 10:27 PM
RE: Random thoughts
(01-01-2017 08:48 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I forgot how boring Genesis is, but will do this "Bible in a year" reading plan thing for the Catholic edition of the Bible.

(31-12-2016 04:04 AM)Banjo Wrote:  I don't like Shai's signature. He's more than a worm.

A Dr in the emergency department once told me this, I recall exactly: "This is the first time we've met. I'm a casualty Dr so we'll probably never meet again, but I think you don't place enough value on yourself."

He woke me up. I resembled xianity in a way. The denial and negation of oneself. I was doing to myself what xians have stolen from them everyday.

Fucking sandworm. Good for catching whiting and flathead.

Only if you want the sandworm to break into sand trout and begin sealing away Earth's water rather than catching delicious fish! Wink But thanks, do need to come up with a new signature at some point probably...

(31-12-2016 04:11 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  [Image: dune-1024x640.jpg]

Love the Litany Against Fear by Frank Herbert. Smile

So...

The 1984 David Lynch theatrical release, or the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel mini series? Tongue

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01-01-2017, 10:28 PM
RE: Random thoughts
'Twas the Night of the King's Castration: the last of the Royal Balls was coming off. All the counts, discounts and no-accounts were sitting around the throne room slinging camel-shit, for in those days, bull-shit was as yet unknown.

A noise was heard in the courtyard and in came Daniel on his gallant white steed, with his balls slung over his shoulder. "What ho!" cried the King. "Ass-hole!" replied Daniel, thus scoring an early point for the common people.

At this, the Queen dashed madly through the court with her drawers at half-mast, and her ass shining like a looking-glass in the moonlight.

Amused now, the King offered Daniel the post of second-in-command. "But what of the Queen?" asked Daniel. "Oh, fuck the Queen!" replied the King, and 50,000 loyal courtiers were killed in the rush, for in those days the King's word was law, and the King ruled with an iron hand.

Upon seeing such mass slaughter, the King in exasperation exclaimed, "Oh, shit!", and all 50,000 remaining loyal courtiers dropped their drawers and squatted on their haunches and strained and grunted in unison, for in those days the King's word was law and the King ruled with an iron hand.

"Stop!" cried the Queen, thinking of the royal carpet. The King called "Halt!" and 49,999 loyal butt-holes snapped shut with a stately click, and 49,999 glistening turds were nipped, gently steaming in the morning air, all save for that of Daniel, who proceeded to lay a turd two cubits wide by one cubit high by three cubits long.

The King was sore affronted, and ordered Daniel thrown into the lions' den for three days and three nights.

And here was Daniel, in the midst of all those roaring, snarling beasts --- but of course, you could easily recognize Daniel by the large green parasol that he always carried.

On the first day, the Queen came unto Daniel and Daniel said, "Oh Queen, I am in need of some tea!" and the Queen asked, "What manner of tea?" Daniel replied, "C-U-N-T!" And the Queen departed.

On the second day the Queen came unto Daniel and Daniel said, "Oh Queen, I am in need of some pills!" and the Queen asked, "What manner of pills?" Daniel replied, "NIP-PILLS!" And the Queen departed.

On the third day, the King came unto Daniel, but it had come to pass that on the morning of the third day, Daniel had shat a great shit, and the lions were sore affronted. Almost all of them had thenceforth kept their distance from Daniel. But one of the lions took a liking to Daniel's left nut, and began to munch upon it. "Oh, it tickles, it tickles!" cried Daniel. "What tickles?" asked the King. "TES-TICKLES!" roared Daniel, thereby scoring another point for the common people. Upon hearing this, all the ladies in the courtyard took out their tits and tittered.

Then the lion crouched as if to spring, but instead laid a big turd. This amused the King, and he ordered Daniel to come forth, but Daniel slipped on the lion's turd and came fifth, thus utterly losing the race. This angered Daniel so greatly that he picked up the lion turd and, with menacing accuracy, hurled it at random. Random ducked, and the turd hit the King full in the eye.

Now, this made the King exceedingly angry, whereupon he inquired, "Where's the Queen?" "Milord, she is on the Royal Crapper." "And is she well-supplied with paper?" "Milord, she has forty reams of the finest linen." "It is good," said the King. "And where's the Princess?" "Oh, she's upstairs in bed with laryngitis." "Not that fucking Greek again!" cried Daniel.

This amused the King and he spake, "Oh, fuck the Princess!" and another 40,000 loyal courtiers were trampled to death in the rush, for in those days the King's word was law, and the King ruled with an iron hand, and besides, the Princess was a comely wench. This made the King exceeding angry, but the Queen only said, "Well, I'll be fucked!" --- more in hope than in indignation. But nobody moved, save a solitary senile seneschal, quietly masturbating in a corner into a silver teaspoon, and Daniel, who, taking her at her word, grabbed the Queen by her butt-cheeks and slipped her onto his dick like a well-worn jackboot.

Later in the evening the King entered the Royal Boudoir and beheld the Queen lying on the bed, clad only in Nature's attire. "Roll over, Queen!" ordered the King. "I'll be fucked if I will!" shouted the Queen. "You will at that," observed the King, "but you'll be corn-holed if you won't!" Hearing this, the Queen shat a gold brick, for in those days a square ass-hole was a symbol of royalty.

When the King saw this, he cried, "Balls!"; not because he had to, but because he had two. And the Queen replied, "Balls!? If I had two, I could be King!"

Whereupon the King, having partaken of over-ripe olives, hied himself to the innermost part of his kingdom and proceeded to shit buttermilk for three days, and thereafter was forever known as King Dairy-Ass, throughout the world.

Blaming Daniel for his digestive discomfort the King sentenced Daniel to wander in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, for in those days the King's word was law and the King ruled with an iron hand.

And so it came to pass that Daniel wandered in the wilderness for many a long day and many a long night. But in the evening of his thirteenth day in the wilderness, Daniel was set upon by bandits! Not, as you might at first surmise, ordinary bandits, but Mexican bandits. Nor, as you might at second surmise, ordinary Mexican bandits, but Mexican bum-bandits, who debagged him, scragged him, and shagged him, and left him with his pockets jingling, and his ass-hole tingling.

Months went by before the Queen came unto Daniel. "Oh Daniel, I am heavy with child. What steps are to be taken?" "Fuckin' big ones!" replied Daniel as he vanished over the Southern horizon.
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01-01-2017, 11:19 PM (This post was last modified: 01-01-2017 11:24 PM by GenesisNemesis.)
RE: Random thoughts
I don't have an issue with people having New Years resolutions. Doesn't it make more sense to encourage people to make positive changes regardless of what time of year it is, rather than be cranky about it? It's not like you're saying people should only make their changes at the start of the New Year, either. I don't get it. Regardless, it's a pretty harmless thing to have and I don't see why I should be cranky about it.

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02-01-2017, 08:33 AM
RE: Random thoughts
(01-01-2017 08:48 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I forgot how boring Genesis is,...

If you think Genesis is boring, wait until you get to Chronicles... it even outdoes Leviticus for being incredibly tedious. The only thing the bible excels at is being a soporific.

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02-01-2017, 09:09 AM
RE: Random thoughts
Just what is randomness anyway?

#sigh
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02-01-2017, 10:42 AM
RE: Random thoughts
(01-01-2017 10:27 PM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(01-01-2017 08:48 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I forgot how boring Genesis is, but will do this "Bible in a year" reading plan thing for the Catholic edition of the Bible.


Only if you want the sandworm to break into sand trout and begin sealing away Earth's water rather than catching delicious fish! Wink But thanks, do need to come up with a new signature at some point probably...


Love the Litany Against Fear by Frank Herbert. Smile

So...

The 1984 David Lynch theatrical release, or the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel mini series? Tongue

While I respect the Lynch film's efforts, and think for its time, it did a reasonable job other than the ending where suddenly magic space powers allow the Kwisatz Haderach to make rain out of nothing...and a few other issues for its day and constraints, vastly prefer the Dune and Children of Dune miniseries set from SciFi before the Syfy days. I think it stays more loyal to the story, does a great job capturing the look and feel as I imagined it, etc. Tongue

(02-01-2017 08:33 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(01-01-2017 08:48 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I forgot how boring Genesis is,...

If you think Genesis is boring, wait until you get to Chronicles... it even outdoes Leviticus for being incredibly tedious. The only thing the bible excels at is being a soporific.

1st and 2nd Maccabees is really the same. "And they went forward and slew X many men". Tongue Realized sadly that I had missed part of yesterday's readings. While this Catholic Bible in a year thing that I got for Christmas begins with Genesis 1 and 2, it also has a reading from Mark, and then things aren't necessarily in order afterward. Which makes keeping a journal week by week of thoughts...difficult.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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02-01-2017, 12:10 PM
RE: Random thoughts
(02-01-2017 10:42 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(01-01-2017 10:27 PM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  So...

The 1984 David Lynch theatrical release, or the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel mini series? Tongue

While I respect the Lynch film's efforts, and think for its time, it did a reasonable job other than the ending where suddenly magic space powers allow the Kwisatz Haderach to make rain out of nothing...and a few other issues for its day and constraints, vastly prefer the Dune and Children of Dune miniseries set from SciFi before the Syfy days. I think it stays more loyal to the story, does a great job capturing the look and feel as I imagined it, etc. Tongue

Agreed.

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02-01-2017, 01:20 PM
RE: Random thoughts
Klobuk or Shtreimel?

#sigh
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02-01-2017, 11:00 PM
RE: Random thoughts
I should sleep. Really don't want to start Winter session tomorrow. David Smalley's head is shiny. I could listen to Seth Andrews read a phone book.

(02-01-2017 12:10 PM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  
(02-01-2017 10:42 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  While I respect the Lynch film's efforts, and think for its time, it did a reasonable job other than the ending where suddenly magic space powers allow the Kwisatz Haderach to make rain out of nothing...and a few other issues for its day and constraints, vastly prefer the Dune and Children of Dune miniseries set from SciFi before the Syfy days. I think it stays more loyal to the story, does a great job capturing the look and feel as I imagined it, etc. Tongue

Agreed.

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Woot! Glad to have a fellow believer in which is better. It can be a bit of a prickly minefield at times.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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02-01-2017, 11:55 PM
RE: Random thoughts
(02-01-2017 01:20 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Klobuk or Shtreimel?

Totally Klobuk. I can at least feel like I'm in the Rat Pack. With a Shtreimel, I feel like I AM a rat, like that hat in the Seinfeld episode and the Kenny Rogers Roasters.

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Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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