Ranting About My Family
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13-10-2013, 07:45 AM
Ranting About My Family
This is just something I have to get off my chest.

My older brother recently got engaged (again). This time last year he was engaged, but she cheated on him a week later. New girl, now they're engage, hooray.

My brother is a bit of an arsehole. He's gotten girls pregnant before, told them to get abortions, then cried on my shoulder about how horrible it was that they got abortions. All their fault, of course. He's cheated on girls before, he's had sex with girls in relationships with other people. He's raped girls before. He's almost gotten both me and my younger sister killed with reckless driving (not an exaggeration).

But my family is always putting their blinders on, because he's the good Christian boy. Now there's messages of joy from my dad to my phone, stuff all over Facebook about how happy they are that Bro is engaged.

I'm trying to feel happy for him, I really am, but my own engagement has been brushed under the carpet by my family. If they talk about it at all it's to say how they don't approve of what I'm doing or support it, but they'll come to my wedding anyway to "support me". This is because I am engaged to a woman, and that's a big Taboo in their strict little Christian household. So my areshole brother who goes through relationships like underwear is getting praise. I'm getting ignore, shunted to the side.

It's exactly what I expected, but it still hurts to know that my family is ashamed of me.

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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13-10-2013, 09:45 AM
RE: Ranting About My Family
That sucks a lot. I knew guys like that who went to the same church that I did. It's sickening.
For what it's worth, I support your engagement! And I'm sure you'll find plenty of other people here who do, too Smile
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13-10-2013, 10:05 AM
RE: Ranting About My Family
I'm thinking that it's maybe a DNA thing.

One off-spring (however dysfunctional) is likely to produce off-spring.

The other off-spring, (you) represents a biological terminus.

This is piss poor behaviour (unchristian-like, one is tempted to say) stemming from a genuine disappointment.

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13-10-2013, 10:40 AM
RE: Ranting About My Family
I was walked over all my life by family. It really sucks and I feel bad you're going through it. It took a huge "fuck you" to the lot, my sweet dysfunctional family, for them to realize I didn't don't fit the mould of their cookie cutter family lifestyle. On my part, it took cutting them out completely. I'm not suggesting you do that, but I have a feeling that you're near to having enough from your family and being metaphorically swept under the rug for no good reason at all.

Mirroring DLJ - your brother will get the approval, because he is hetero, as the good bible says is right.That's the moral compass you're dealing with. That compass, of course, is broken - which makes for whacky behavior you've seen so far. I can't offer up any suggestions on how to help your plight, but I can try for your person: don't let the family rule your emotions. You are worth. You have goals and dreams just like everyone else. Except well, family can sometimes be shitty. BUT! You are what is most important to you. Do what feels right by you. Don't allow people to rent too much space in your head. Hug

Congratulations on your Engagement, PharaohKatt. You're doing well, going for what you want. Best to you and your future bride. Hug

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13-10-2013, 10:58 AM
RE: Ranting About My Family
I'm so very sorry to hear that. Religious families are hard to go through I suspect Sad

But congratulations on your engagement! Smile I hope you a fruitful life together of silly inside jokes, arguments over phone bills and all the love that comes with that!
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14-10-2013, 05:00 PM
RE: Ranting About My Family
Wow. I would stop caring about what these people think about me immediately. These people have INCREDIBLY distorted values - you should find a good therapist and try to reduce their impact on your life as fast as humanly possible.

My 2 cents.

Good luck.

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're an incredible slouch.

Martin Luther was the "father" of two movements - The Reformation and Nazism.
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14-10-2013, 05:07 PM
RE: Ranting About My Family
excuse me..but did he serve any jail time?
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14-10-2013, 06:21 PM
RE: Ranting About My Family
(14-10-2013 05:07 PM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  excuse me..but did he serve any jail time?

I was thinking the same thing. If not prosecuted I'm sure that behavior will continue.

Back on topic, I say try as much as you can to focus on you and your happiness. Surround yourself with people who value you for you, and limit your contact with family when they are making you feel "less than".
Best of luck Hug
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15-10-2013, 05:15 AM
RE: Ranting About My Family
(14-10-2013 06:21 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  
(14-10-2013 05:07 PM)grizzlysnake Wrote:  excuse me..but did he serve any jail time?

I was thinking the same thing. If not prosecuted I'm sure that behavior will continue.

No. It was quite a few years ago, and it never got prosecuted because the girls "just regretted it". They were 13 and 14. He was 16. No

As for children, my family knows that I plan on having some children (biologically, even), but they don't think it's a suitable environment to raise a family. Figures.

Thanks for all the support, guys. It makes me feel better knowing that there are people in the world who aren't complete arseholes Smile

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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