Ranting corner
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28-01-2015, 07:15 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 06:58 PM)pablo Wrote:  I've never really had much trouble with toast.

I never used to. My old toaster was 14 years old but at least it toasted bread.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-01-2015, 07:18 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:15 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 06:58 PM)pablo Wrote:  I've never really had much trouble with toast.

I never used to. My old toaster was 14 years old but at least it toasted bread.

I can't make a consistent pot of coffee to save my life.
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28-01-2015, 07:19 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:04 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 06:23 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I'd like a toaster that actually toasts the bread instead of simply warming it.

If I set it higher, it incinerates.

Facepalm

Husband likes toast that looks (and tastes) like charcoal. I inevitably forget that and end up with charred bread on the first attempt at making toast for myself.

Eeeew. That's just wrong.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-01-2015, 07:20 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:05 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 07:00 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Wait... what?

I don't know exactly what she did, but there was a semi-incinerated piece of food, and the tiny remains of a paper plate, when the cloud of white dissipated! All that got burned outside the toaster itself was just a little blackened area on the counter, and the wall behind it...

And here the worst I've ever done was set of the smoke detector after somebody decided to turn the toaster all the way up...

(28-01-2015 07:05 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  ...I don't fuck around with fire.

Well sir, it appears we may be opposed.

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28-01-2015, 07:24 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:18 PM)pablo Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 07:15 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I never used to. My old toaster was 14 years old but at least it toasted bread.

I can't make a consistent pot of coffee to save my life.

Oh, I've got that dialed in...I do it hungover or comatose.

I've got a French press. I grind the beans using a mortar and pestle.

Comes out perfect each morning.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-01-2015, 07:28 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:05 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 07:00 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  Wait... what?

I don't know exactly what she did, but there was a semi-incinerated piece of food, and the tiny remains of a paper plate, when the cloud of white dissipated! All that got burned outside the toaster itself was just a little blackened area on the counter, and the wall behind it, but I don't fuck around with fire.

You would have screamed when you saw me add brandy to flaming hot pan on the stove. The flames licked the ceiling. All the spattered grease on the cook top ignited too.

It was waaaay cool. And it went out pretty quick too without intervention.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-01-2015, 07:34 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:24 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 07:18 PM)pablo Wrote:  I can't make a consistent pot of coffee to save my life.

Oh, I've got that dialed in...I do it hungover or comatose.

I've got a French press. I grind the beans using a mortar and pestle.

Comes out perfect each morning.

OK, I think I know what I'm doing wrong now. Smile
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28-01-2015, 07:34 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 07:28 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 07:05 PM)TheGulegon Wrote:  I don't know exactly what she did, but there was a semi-incinerated piece of food, and the tiny remains of a paper plate, when the cloud of white dissipated! All that got burned outside the toaster itself was just a little blackened area on the counter, and the wall behind it, but I don't fuck around with fire.

You would have screamed when you saw me add brandy to flaming hot pan on the stove. The flames licked the ceiling. All the spattered grease on the cook top ignited too.

It was waaaay cool. And it went out pretty quick too without intervention.

Steak au poivre?

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28-01-2015, 07:42 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-01-2015 02:03 PM)Free Thought Wrote:  
(28-01-2015 02:01 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I fell down the steps in my house a couple of days ago and twisted my ankle. While I was moaning at the bottom of the steps my cat, Figaro, came over and meowed loudly at me. Aww. He's concerned, I thought. That's so sweet. He continued to meow until my daughter helped me wrap some ice on my foot and I sat down. What a cat!

Except, now I'm hobbling around with a black and blue swollen foot and he expects me to keep his food bowl full of food and his water always fresh. What happened to the concerned kitty? Jeez. Now I know it's all about his stomach.

I read 'black and blue' and thought 'why are you not in a hospital'...


I don't go to a hospital unless I'm near death door. I get a check up once a year though.

I don't think my foot's broken. My toes and ankle moves without pain, I just sprained it and it's swollen. All a doctor would do is wrap it and tell me to put ice on it.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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28-01-2015, 08:07 PM
RE: Ranting corner
You know those stores where as soon as you walk in someone asks:

"Hi, can I help you find anything?"

Then you smile courteously and say "No thanks, I'm just browsing."
You take another couple of footsteps before being greeted again:

"Hi, are you finding everything ok?

"Yeah, thanks," even though you haven't actually looked at anything yet.

"Ok, just let us know if you need anything"

You shoot a quick glance in her direction, nodding politely with a forced smile. You make your way stealthily toward the back of the store, skimming the outer wall to avoid detection from the guy patrolling the central customer service kiosk.

You've made it to the back of the store; you're in the clear! "Here we go, wireless headphones," you mumble in an inaudible whisper, suddenly becoming aware of just how damn quiet it is in here. Also, you're the only customer in the store. Also... four employees are staring directly at you...

...

"NEED HELP FI-- sorry, haha, didn't mean to make you jump. Oh, hey, I noticed you're looking at headphones. Let me talk at great length about how awesome this $300 pair is!
blahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblah"

Dodgy

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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