Ranting corner
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26-08-2015, 09:53 PM
RE: Ranting corner
My boyfriend is driving me crazy again!! Angry

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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26-08-2015, 09:54 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-08-2015 09:34 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Had a bomb dropped on me this morning by my ex-husband. He's getting married next year apparently and he and his fiancee are buying a house roughly 85 miles away from Waco. They are going to close on it at the end of next month.

So basically he proposed that the kids come live with him and I could get them every weekend (and he would *so generously* drive them out to Waco to me every weekend) and then for a month and a half during the summers and then holidays we'd split like normal.

(For reference, our arrangement as-is is joint physical custody with me getting them a week, and then him getting them a week, and so on and so forth)

Needless to say this upset me. Our decree states that the children are to live within two specified counties in Texas and if he moved them, it'd be violating the decree. And even more importantly, the kids are stressed enough as it is when they visit him for just a week at a time. How much worse would it be if they were with him damn near ALL the time?

I told him no way, no how. I would never agree to their being moved that far and them losing so much time with me (the one semi-healthy environment they have). Shockingly, he has said that he understands and could we reverse the proposed arrangement and he get the kids every weekend, etc.?

I've gotta talk it over with the kids and get their thoughts on the whole thing. It'll mean a new "old" school yet again because I am not moving to the district they are currently in (which sucks because my daughter seems to really like it there), and it'll mean a tighter budget for me, Rev, and the kids than I had originally anticipated, but I gotta say, this could be really great for everyone.

Heh, this is turning out not to be such a rant after all. But when my ex dropped that news on me, it fucked up my morning something awful.

Anyway, Rev and I are now wondering what the catch is to my ex so easily agreeing to losing much of his visitation time. Consider

Seems like he just wanted weekends all along.
Since you will have the kids living with you the majority of the time now, this should make him eligible for child support.
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26-08-2015, 10:03 PM
RE: Ranting corner
He played the "I'll take the kids and I'll be so nice and drive them to you" bluff so that when you put your foot down and say "hell no you're not taking the kids," you're more willing to compromise in his direction. Like Smerc said, he's going to expect you to keep them all week and then still drive them out there, knowing what he was asking you would never agree to nor in his realm legally without taking you to court. Manipulative douchebag. Douche. fucking. bag.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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26-08-2015, 10:04 PM (This post was last modified: 26-08-2015 10:07 PM by Escape Artist.)
RE: Ranting corner
(26-08-2015 09:49 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(26-08-2015 09:34 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Had a bomb dropped on me this morning by my ex-husband. He's getting married next year apparently and he and his fiancee are buying a house roughly 85 miles away from Waco. They are going to close on it at the end of next month.

So basically he proposed that the kids come live with him and I could get them every weekend (and he would *so generously* drive them out to Waco to me every weekend) and then for a month and a half during the summers and then holidays we'd split like normal.

(For reference, our arrangement as-is is joint physical custody with me getting them a week, and then him getting them a week, and so on and so forth)

Needless to say this upset me. Our decree states that the children are to live within two specified counties in Texas and if he moved them, it'd be violating the decree. And even more importantly, the kids are stressed enough as it is when they visit him for just a week at a time. How much worse would it be if they were with him damn near ALL the time?

I told him no way, no how. I would never agree to their being moved that far and them losing so much time with me (the one semi-healthy environment they have). Shockingly, he has said that he understands and could we reverse the proposed arrangement and he get the kids every weekend, etc.?

I've gotta talk it over with the kids and get their thoughts on the whole thing. It'll mean a new "old" school yet again because I am not moving to the district they are currently in (which sucks because my daughter seems to really like it there), and it'll mean a tighter budget for me, Rev, and the kids than I had originally anticipated, but I gotta say, this could be really great for everyone.

Heh, this is turning out not to be such a rant after all. But when my ex dropped that news on me, it fucked up my morning something awful.

Anyway, Rev and I are now wondering what the catch is to my ex so easily agreeing to losing much of his visitation time. Consider

I don't think you two can alter the terms of the custody decree. The court has to approve the change. Consider

The way it was explained to me (by my lawyer) was that my ex and I could agree to anything we wanted. But if we did not agree, we fell back to the terms of the decree.

ETA: I will see, though, if I can get in touch with my lawyer and see if he advises a modifying court order in this situation.

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26-08-2015, 10:08 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-08-2015 09:53 PM)jennybee Wrote:  My boyfriend is driving me crazy again!! Angry

Facepalm
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26-08-2015, 10:12 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Also wanted to add that we never did have to do a court hearing over custody. It got down to the wire of us doing so, but we reached an agreement before it went that far.

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26-08-2015, 10:17 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-08-2015 10:03 PM)Nurse Wrote:  He played the "I'll take the kids and I'll be so nice and drive them to you" bluff so that when you put your foot down and say "hell no you're not taking the kids," you're more willing to compromise in his direction. Like Smerc said, he's going to expect you to keep them all week and then still drive them out there, knowing what he was asking you would never agree to nor in his realm legally without taking you to court. Manipulative douchebag. Douche. fucking. bag.

Probably, I mean he caved instantly so I doubt he had his heart set on this. I am wondering if the new sugar mama is starting to occupy more of his time so he doesn't want the kids around so much. As for the other stuff well nothing has been agreed to yet (EA is rightly waiting and talking to the kids first) but I am thinking she can easily get him down to 3 weekends a month and they meet halfway to exchange. As to child support, well that is a bit more complicated and would involve a protracted legal hassle. Not sure if it is worth it since EA makes more than he does. Her Lawyer had mentioned she would not really be able to get much if any support because of that. Plus he is not really good at keeping steady work and honestly would end up not paying.

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26-08-2015, 10:17 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-08-2015 10:12 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Also wanted to add that we never did have to do a court hearing over custody. It got down to the wire of us doing so, but we reached an agreement before it went that far.

And it will stay that way so long as yall continue to agree. If he tries to bluff court to get his way, he now has a house and soon to be new wifey that's not gonna be too pleased with him tying up their finances in the courtroom.

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26-08-2015, 10:39 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Good points, both, Nurse.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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26-08-2015, 11:02 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-08-2015 09:34 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Had a bomb dropped on me this morning by my ex-husband. He's getting married next year apparently and he and his fiancee are buying a house roughly 85 miles away from Waco. They are going to close on it at the end of next month.

So basically he proposed that the kids come live with him and I could get them every weekend (and he would *so generously* drive them out to Waco to me every weekend) and then for a month and a half during the summers and then holidays we'd split like normal.

(For reference, our arrangement as-is is joint physical custody with me getting them a week, and then him getting them a week, and so on and so forth)

Needless to say this upset me. Our decree states that the children are to live within two specified counties in Texas and if he moved them, it'd be violating the decree. And even more importantly, the kids are stressed enough as it is when they visit him for just a week at a time. How much worse would it be if they were with him damn near ALL the time?

I told him no way, no how. I would never agree to their being moved that far and them losing so much time with me (the one semi-healthy environment they have). Shockingly, he has said that he understands and could we reverse the proposed arrangement and he get the kids every weekend, etc.?

I've gotta talk it over with the kids and get their thoughts on the whole thing. It'll mean a new "old" school yet again because I am not moving to the district they are currently in (which sucks because my daughter seems to really like it there), and it'll mean a tighter budget for me, Rev, and the kids than I had originally anticipated, but I gotta say, this could be really great for everyone.

Heh, this is turning out not to be such a rant after all. But when my ex dropped that news on me, it fucked up my morning something awful.

Anyway, Rev and I are now wondering what the catch is to my ex so easily agreeing to losing much of his visitation time. Consider

Maybe she'll be pregnant soon or already is....


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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