Ranting corner
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15-01-2016, 02:52 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 02:28 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 12:00 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Furthermore, does this happen to most other women? Why do I have this problem with men thinking they can cross this line? Is it because I'm too nice? Fucking bastards. This is not the first time I've ranted on here about this kind of bullshit.

I'm torn between ignoring this message, too, or saying in much nicer words to fuck off. But see, that's the problem. I'm worried about being polite when clearly he isn't.


Angry

I am an old guy, gonna be 70 ina few months, and I find that many women think they are saying something when in reality they ain't said shit. I heard some other time from a lady for several months and somehow I was too stupid to realize that she thought she was saying "Not interested." don't know how vague your answers have been to him, but is that the problem?

She's been ignoring him. He sends a PM, and all he gets in return is "seen 4:03 pm." That seems pretty clear to me.

But...I know what you're saying. A lot of women are really nice and try to let guys down gently, and a lot of guys mistake this kindness for interest. Other times they try to let guys down gently because some of us don't handle rejection well and they'd rather not have us turn into psychos and do something unpleasant . Dodgy Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that it's up to men to raise their social IQ so we can either pick up the hints or learn to accept rejection gracefully so that women can feel safe communicating their disinterest more clearly.

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15-01-2016, 02:55 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 02:28 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 12:00 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Furthermore, does this happen to most other women? Why do I have this problem with men thinking they can cross this line? Is it because I'm too nice? Fucking bastards. This is not the first time I've ranted on here about this kind of bullshit.

I'm torn between ignoring this message, too, or saying in much nicer words to fuck off. But see, that's the problem. I'm worried about being polite when clearly he isn't.


Angry

I am an old guy, gonna be 70 ina few months, and I find that many women think they are saying something when in reality they ain't said shit. I heard some other time from a lady for several months and somehow I was too stupid to realize that she thought she was saying "Not interested." don't know how vague your answers have been to him, but is that the problem?

For your future reference: If she says "some other time" more than twice: it means not interested.

Many women have learned the hard way that actually saying "not interested" is too risky. It seems to make some men (certainly not you) immediately angry and aggressive. "What's wrong with me? Think you're too good for me, bitch?"
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15-01-2016, 03:00 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 02:55 PM)julep Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 02:28 PM)DerFish Wrote:  I am an old guy, gonna be 70 ina few months, and I find that many women think they are saying something when in reality they ain't said shit. I heard some other time from a lady for several months and somehow I was too stupid to realize that she thought she was saying "Not interested." don't know how vague your answers have been to him, but is that the problem?

For your future reference: If she says "some other time" more than twice: it means not interested.

Many women have learned the hard way that actually saying "not interested" is too risky. It seems to make some men (certainly not you) immediately angry and aggressive. "What's wrong with me? Think you're too good for me, bitch?"

I agree. However, I personally believe in just telling someone you are not interested. But I'm a fairly blunt person in general. Wink If they call you a bitch, they call you a bitch. I don't take things like that to heart because I know it is coming from a hurt ego. I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, but I prefer going the honest route myself.
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15-01-2016, 03:01 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 02:52 PM)Can_of_Beans Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 02:28 PM)DerFish Wrote:  I am an old guy, gonna be 70 ina few months, and I find that many women think they are saying something when in reality they ain't said shit. I heard some other time from a lady for several months and somehow I was too stupid to realize that she thought she was saying "Not interested." don't know how vague your answers have been to him, but is that the problem?

She's been ignoring him. He sends a PM, and all he gets in return is "seen 4:03 pm." That seems pretty clear to me.

But...I know what you're saying. A lot of women are really nice and try to let guys down gently, and a lot of guys mistake this kindness for interest. Other times they try to let guys down gently because some of us don't handle rejection well and they'd rather not have us turn into psychos and do something unpleasant . Dodgy Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that it's up to men to raise their social IQ so we can either pick up the hints or learn to accept rejection gracefully so that women can feel safe communicating their disinterest more clearly.

My last response was in April. I know him to have a temper and a fragile ego. Don't know why I didn't think to block him, but thankfully Julep suggested it. This kind of persistence over this many months is a bit creepy. The same day I changed my name on Facebook to my maiden name was the first time he messaged me. Which was April - I only responded a few times until I started to realize he thought we were going to be dating or whatever was going on in his head along those lines.

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15-01-2016, 03:03 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 02:28 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 12:00 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Furthermore, does this happen to most other women? Why do I have this problem with men thinking they can cross this line? Is it because I'm too nice? Fucking bastards. This is not the first time I've ranted on here about this kind of bullshit.

I'm torn between ignoring this message, too, or saying in much nicer words to fuck off. But see, that's the problem. I'm worried about being polite when clearly he isn't.


Angry

I am an old guy, gonna be 70 ina few months, and I find that many women think they are saying something when in reality they ain't said shit. I heard some other time from a lady for several months and somehow I was too stupid to realize that she thought she was saying "Not interested." don't know how vague your answers have been to him, but is that the problem?

This is why I prefer the blunt I'm not interested approach. But obviously said in as nice a way as possible.
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15-01-2016, 03:19 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 12:06 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 12:00 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Furthermore, does this happen to most other women? Why do I have this problem with men thinking they can cross this line? Is it because I'm too nice? Fucking bastards. This is not the first time I've ranted on here about this kind of bullshit.

I'm torn between ignoring this message, too, or saying in much nicer words to fuck off. But see, that's the problem. I'm worried about being polite when clearly he isn't.


Angry

I think if you want him to go away you should tell him to politely fuck off. Based on my experience, *some* men sometimes have a hard time getting that you are not interested and so you have to be very direct about it.

Yeah, you really need to be blunt. I've had a few enamored gentleman who wouldn't take the hint.... At some point in time, gently nudging them away doesn't work and if his attentions are boiling your blood, then you really need to get your point across.
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15-01-2016, 03:27 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 03:19 PM)Aliza Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 12:06 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think if you want him to go away you should tell him to politely fuck off. Based on my experience, *some* men sometimes have a hard time getting that you are not interested and so you have to be very direct about it.

Yeah, you really need to be blunt. I've had a few enamored gentleman who wouldn't take the hint.... At some point in time, gently nudging them away doesn't work and if his attentions are boiling your blood, then you really need to get your point across.

Additionally, sometimes blocking them can make them equally as angry. This works if they have no other ways of contacting you--but if they have any other personal info and a strong desire to get in touch with you--they will. Some people will tell themselves things like "Maybe she really likes me and there's just a problem with her XYZ account?" Sometimes when people in are in love/like/lust with another person they will only see things they want to see and have trouble separating themselves from the reality of the situation. Sometimes people who are in love/like/lust have trouble taking a hint. I think if the guy isn't taking the hint and he has other ways of contact/harassing/bothering/stalking you, I would go the assertive route and say you are not interested. It also shows him you are not afraid to take a stand against him and you're not going to put up with any of his shit. Granted, I say this as a person who takes Krav Maga, carries a gun, has four large dogs, and three brothers (one in the military/one who was a bouncer in a bar/ one who is in the Merchant Marine) who will rip any guy to shreds who is intent on being a total dick. Tongue
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15-01-2016, 04:22 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 03:27 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 03:19 PM)Aliza Wrote:  Yeah, you really need to be blunt. I've had a few enamored gentleman who wouldn't take the hint.... At some point in time, gently nudging them away doesn't work and if his attentions are boiling your blood, then you really need to get your point across.

Additionally, sometimes blocking them can make them equally as angry. This works if they have no other ways of contacting you--but if they have any other personal info and a strong desire to get in touch with you--they will. Some people will tell themselves things like "Maybe she really likes me and there's just a problem with her XYZ account?" Sometimes when people in are in love/like/lust with another person they will only see things they want to see and have trouble separating themselves from the reality of the situation. Sometimes people who are in love/like/lust have trouble taking a hint. I think if the guy isn't taking the hint and he has other ways of contact/harassing/bothering/stalking you, I would go the assertive route and say you are not interested. It also shows him you are not afraid to take a stand against him and you're not going to put up with any of his shit. Granted, I say this as a person who takes Krav Maga, carries a gun, has four large dogs, and three brothers (one in the military/one who was a bouncer in a bar/ one who is in the Merchant Marine) who will rip any guy to shreds who is intent on being a total dick. Tongue

I was writing to a lady online, and after meeting her I was no longer interested in seeing her again. I dropped her off a block from where she said she lived because she didn't want me to know exactly where. I can only assume she has a man and that is why, so blocked her on the site where I had met her. The next I knew a young girl of less than 30 was flirting with me. I assured her that I am almost 70 and had no desire to know a girl of her age. "What is wrong with my mother then?" Was her reply. What can be more direct than blocking someone? I then told the young lady that I believe her mom must be married if she doesn't want me to know where she lives. If they do not understand being blocked then they have crossed the line. A whole different category from "Call me next week, but I am busy tonight."
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15-01-2016, 04:35 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 04:22 PM)DerFish Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 03:27 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Additionally, sometimes blocking them can make them equally as angry. This works if they have no other ways of contacting you--but if they have any other personal info and a strong desire to get in touch with you--they will. Some people will tell themselves things like "Maybe she really likes me and there's just a problem with her XYZ account?" Sometimes when people in are in love/like/lust with another person they will only see things they want to see and have trouble separating themselves from the reality of the situation. Sometimes people who are in love/like/lust have trouble taking a hint. I think if the guy isn't taking the hint and he has other ways of contact/harassing/bothering/stalking you, I would go the assertive route and say you are not interested. It also shows him you are not afraid to take a stand against him and you're not going to put up with any of his shit. Granted, I say this as a person who takes Krav Maga, carries a gun, has four large dogs, and three brothers (one in the military/one who was a bouncer in a bar/ one who is in the Merchant Marine) who will rip any guy to shreds who is intent on being a total dick. Tongue

I was writing to a lady online, and after meeting her I was no longer interested in seeing her again. I dropped her off a block from where she said she lived because she didn't want me to know exactly where. I can only assume she has a man and that is why, so blocked her on the site where I had met her. The next I knew a young girl of less than 30 was flirting with me. I assured her that I am almost 70 and had no desire to know a girl of her age. "What is wrong with my mother then?" Was her reply. What can be more direct than blocking someone? I then told the young lady that I believe her mom must be married if she doesn't want me to know where she lives. If they do not understand being blocked then they have crossed the line. A whole different category from "Call me next week, but I am busy tonight."

I don't think a woman asking to be dropped off away from her home by a man she just met to be a sign that she has a husband. If I go on dates off of dating sites like match.com, I never have the guys pick me up at my home in the beginning. I also don't tell them exactly where I work in the beginning. All of this is due to my personal safety and not because I have a husband. I am not married, but I think it is good to do the best you can as a single woman to keep yourself safe until you get to know someone better.

I agree, most people get that being blocked would mean the person doing the blocking is not interested. However, *some* people don't take that as a hint. Or maybe they do and don't care and have a borderline obsession with the other person.
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15-01-2016, 04:38 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(15-01-2016 03:19 PM)Aliza Wrote:  
(15-01-2016 12:06 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I think if you want him to go away you should tell him to politely fuck off. Based on my experience, *some* men sometimes have a hard time getting that you are not interested and so you have to be very direct about it.

Yeah, you really need to be blunt. I've had a few enamored gentleman who wouldn't take the hint.... At some point in time, gently nudging them away doesn't work and if his attentions are boiling your blood, then you really need to get your point across.

Back in high school subtle was taught only to girls, not us guys. We think of it a dishonesty.
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