Ranting corner
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05-09-2016, 11:28 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(05-09-2016 11:16 AM)Deesse23 Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 08:17 AM)Aliza Wrote:  Don't follow them. I could give a shit. Just please don't murder me.

I think you didnt understand what i meant. I will put it in different words.

You arent (necessarily) moral by just following proclamations of somebody else. By doing so you dont show morality but obedience. You become moral once you understand and decide for yourself that these rules are good.

I think the exact same way. But there are still some people who just don't know how to act. I'm opposed to any system that runs off anarchy or entirely trusts its citizens not to run around raping and murdering people. Spelling it out with laws and then enforcing those laws is essential to maintaining an ordered society.
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05-09-2016, 01:59 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(04-09-2016 09:48 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(04-09-2016 03:42 PM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  But, not giving up on Catholicism, at least so far.

Why not? Consider

Quote:But they are good laws!

Not the first two.
Guessing the Wikipedia article on the list for the first two? As for why not; faith.

(05-09-2016 11:16 AM)Deesse23 Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 08:17 AM)Aliza Wrote:  Don't follow them. I could give a shit. Just please don't murder me.

I think you didnt understand what i meant. I will put it in different words.

You arent (necessarily) moral by just following proclamations of somebody else. By doing so you dont show morality but obedience. You become moral once you understand and decide for yourself that these rules are good.
Other than some of our drive by folks, I don't think there's anyone on TTA, of any religious persuasion or lack thereof, who would disagree with that. That's why people who share my religion, but say that their religion is the only thing keeping them from being a monster, scare the ever loving crap out of me. Good should be done for its own sake, morality shouldn't be based solely on faith.

(05-09-2016 10:49 AM)CosmicRaven Wrote:  I'm trying not to lose my sanity. I'm feeling a little unstable today. :/

Sorry to hear that Hug Hope things improve soon.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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05-09-2016, 02:33 PM
RE: Ranting corner
I can't even think about my past - the religious bullshit, my marrying the dipshit that I married - without getting fucking furious. It is hard to let go of a past that I fucked up so terribly on. So many years wasted on a lie. The biggest lie.




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05-09-2016, 02:49 PM
RE: Ranting corner
I don't know if I will ever get past the anger I feel about all of it. How do you feel better about years that you were robbed of because you believed in a lie? I know I should just feel good and proud of myself that I got out of it and there for a while, I did. I was just glad I got out. But now I am angry that it happened at all, that I didn't get out sooner. Obviously I can't go back and fix it. I know that. So, on the point of practicality alone I should just get over it and go about making the life I have now the best I can make it and don't get me wrong, life is better. But I want to just... I dunno. I want that part of my life gone. I want the memory to be gone. There are some things about my marriage and life with my ex that are blanks for me, thankfully so. I wish that would happen with the religious crap so I can stop feeling angry anytime I think about religion or religious people or the years I lost...

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05-09-2016, 06:18 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(05-09-2016 08:18 AM)Aliza Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 06:56 AM)Chas Wrote:  In the list I saw, the two god ones were first.

And you did not answer my question.

Hmmm... I must have missed the question. What was it?

My mistake - I thought I was responding to Shai.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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05-09-2016, 08:45 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(05-09-2016 02:49 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I don't know if I will ever get past the anger I feel about all of it. How do you feel better about years that you were robbed of because you believed in a lie? I know I should just feel good and proud of myself that I got out of it and there for a while, I did. I was just glad I got out. But now I am angry that it happened at all, that I didn't get out sooner. Obviously I can't go back and fix it. I know that. So, on the point of practicality alone I should just get over it and go about making the life I have now the best I can make it and don't get me wrong, life is better. But I want to just... I dunno. I want that part of my life gone. I want the memory to be gone. There are some things about my marriage and life with my ex that are blanks for me, thankfully so. I wish that would happen with the religious crap so I can stop feeling angry anytime I think about religion or religious people or the years I lost...

At the risk of sounding trite...your past got you to where you are today. Without the things that happened, the religious indoctrination, and the crap marriage you wouldn't have arrived where you are now.

I don't have the religious crap to deal with. The Catholic upbringing and school experience didn't really affect me much. But then, I had a mother who was pretty much atheist and a father who only made us follow the Catholic because it was a business decision on his part - so as not to alienate any potential clients.

But there are other things that used to haunt me a lot. Years in an abusive family leading to not going to college after high school, bad choices in boyfriends and husbands...dumb shit I can't blame on anyone but myself.

Years and opportunities were lost. That ate me up for a long time. I can't say that I never think about those things but I have learned how to set a limit on how long I let my mind wallow in that crap.

You can't get those years back. You can't change the things that happened, the people that were in your life, or the choices you made.

All you can do now is realize that all those things make up who you are but you can now move on to other things. When that hamster starts running on the wheel of things in the past give yourself a time limit for how long you will allow it. Then distract your mind with something else. I won't tell you to just forget about it. It's important to work some of that stuff out in your mind. Over time it will occupy less and less of your mind and your life.

Counseling may not be a bad idea if you can swing it. I went that route for a few weeks some years ago and learned ways to deal with it when my mind gets stuck in a loop.

You are going to be okay. Thumbsup

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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05-09-2016, 09:15 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(05-09-2016 08:45 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 02:49 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I don't know if I will ever get past the anger I feel about all of it. How do you feel better about years that you were robbed of because you believed in a lie? I know I should just feel good and proud of myself that I got out of it and there for a while, I did. I was just glad I got out. But now I am angry that it happened at all, that I didn't get out sooner. Obviously I can't go back and fix it. I know that. So, on the point of practicality alone I should just get over it and go about making the life I have now the best I can make it and don't get me wrong, life is better. But I want to just... I dunno. I want that part of my life gone. I want the memory to be gone. There are some things about my marriage and life with my ex that are blanks for me, thankfully so. I wish that would happen with the religious crap so I can stop feeling angry anytime I think about religion or religious people or the years I lost...

At the risk of sounding trite...your past got you to where you are today. Without the things that happened, the religious indoctrination, and the crap marriage you wouldn't have arrived where you are now.

I don't have the religious crap to deal with. The Catholic upbringing and school experience didn't really affect me much. But then, I had a mother who was pretty much atheist and a father who only made us follow the Catholic because it was a business decision on his part - so as not to alienate any potential clients.

But there are other things that used to haunt me a lot. Years in an abusive family leading to not going to college after high school, bad choices in boyfriends and husbands...dumb shit I can't blame on anyone but myself.

Years and opportunities were lost. That ate me up for a long time. I can't say that I never think about those things but I have learned how to set a limit on how long I let my mind wallow in that crap.

You can't get those years back. You can't change the things that happened, the people that were in your life, or the choices you made.

All you can do now is realize that all those things make up who you are but you can now move on to other things. When that hamster starts running on the wheel of things in the past give yourself a time limit for how long you will allow it. Then distract your mind with something else. I won't tell you to just forget about it. It's important to work some of that stuff out in your mind. Over time it will occupy less and less of your mind and your life.

Counseling may not be a bad idea if you can swing it. I went that route for a few weeks some years ago and learned ways to deal with it when my mind gets stuck in a loop.

You are going to be okay. Thumbsup

Rev said much the same thing - that my past made me who I am today and got me here. If it had happened differently, I likely wouldn't be here. Still it is hard not to look back and feel angry and upset about it.

I want to not be angry about it anymore, but to not be angry about it feels like saying it was okay. And it wasn't okay. And part of me is afraid that if I'm no longer angry about it, I could fall into that stuff again.

Bleh. I gotta stop talking about this stuff. I say it because it has to come out somehow but then I feel bad whining about it because I should get over it.

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05-09-2016, 09:27 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(05-09-2016 09:15 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 08:45 PM)Anjele Wrote:  At the risk of sounding trite...your past got you to where you are today. Without the things that happened, the religious indoctrination, and the crap marriage you wouldn't have arrived where you are now.

I don't have the religious crap to deal with. The Catholic upbringing and school experience didn't really affect me much. But then, I had a mother who was pretty much atheist and a father who only made us follow the Catholic because it was a business decision on his part - so as not to alienate any potential clients.

But there are other things that used to haunt me a lot. Years in an abusive family leading to not going to college after high school, bad choices in boyfriends and husbands...dumb shit I can't blame on anyone but myself.

Years and opportunities were lost. That ate me up for a long time. I can't say that I never think about those things but I have learned how to set a limit on how long I let my mind wallow in that crap.

You can't get those years back. You can't change the things that happened, the people that were in your life, or the choices you made.

All you can do now is realize that all those things make up who you are but you can now move on to other things. When that hamster starts running on the wheel of things in the past give yourself a time limit for how long you will allow it. Then distract your mind with something else. I won't tell you to just forget about it. It's important to work some of that stuff out in your mind. Over time it will occupy less and less of your mind and your life.

Counseling may not be a bad idea if you can swing it. I went that route for a few weeks some years ago and learned ways to deal with it when my mind gets stuck in a loop.

You are going to be okay. Thumbsup

Rev said much the same thing - that my past made me who I am today and got me here. If it had happened differently, I likely wouldn't be here. Still it is hard not to look back and feel angry and upset about it.

I want to not be angry about it anymore, but to not be angry about it feels like saying it was okay. And it wasn't okay. And part of me is afraid that if I'm no longer angry about it, I could fall into that stuff again.

Bleh. I gotta stop talking about this stuff. I say it because it has to come out somehow but then I feel bad whining about it because I should get over it.

No one says you can't be angry about some things in your past but you can't let that anger control you. Putting away the anger can lead back to hurt, but that's okay too. It's almost like a grieving process...there are stages to accepting things that you can't change and it will happen in your time.

As for falling back into it...nope...you have knowledge now that you didn't have before.

And yeah, it has to come out. Keeping it all in can eat you up. If nothing else, you are a writer aren't you? Write it and get it out that way.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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06-09-2016, 06:37 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(05-09-2016 09:27 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 09:15 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Rev said much the same thing - that my past made me who I am today and got me here. If it had happened differently, I likely wouldn't be here. Still it is hard not to look back and feel angry and upset about it.

I want to not be angry about it anymore, but to not be angry about it feels like saying it was okay. And it wasn't okay. And part of me is afraid that if I'm no longer angry about it, I could fall into that stuff again.

Bleh. I gotta stop talking about this stuff. I say it because it has to come out somehow but then I feel bad whining about it because I should get over it.

No one says you can't be angry about some things in your past but you can't let that anger control you. Putting away the anger can lead back to hurt, but that's okay too. It's almost like a grieving process...there are stages to accepting things that you can't change and it will happen in your time.

As for falling back into it...nope...you have knowledge now that you didn't have before.

And yeah, it has to come out. Keeping it all in can eat you up. If nothing else, you are a writer aren't you? Write it and get it out that way.

I've started journaling. Big Grin

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06-09-2016, 10:52 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Well, I got dumped via text message tonight - I didn't see this coming. Guess y'all will be seeing more of me again. I realize I'm a slight bit eccentric - I'm sitting here in a t shirt with a car wearing sunglasses surrounded by the universe - but I must be crazier than I realize to always be the dumpee and never the dumper. I suck at this dating thing.

Earlier today Mom told my nephew, "She is a bit scattered and needs help, but there isn't a mean bone in her body." I'm not getting dumped for being a bitch or nagging. Maybe that's the problem - I see men with wretched bitchy women who play mind games all the time. His ex wife fits into that category; hell, she airs their dirty laundry all over Facebook by talking shit about him and even their kids.

I'm going to paint some more herb pots and spend time with my nephew on my non custodial weeks. Like this week.


I'm sad about it. I really liked him.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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