Ranting corner
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09-04-2017, 08:32 AM (This post was last modified: 09-04-2017 09:20 AM by Shai Hulud.)
RE: Ranting corner
(07-04-2017 09:49 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I have a Stone Age phone, Shai. Mine has a ringer setting for "Alarms Only" that way texts or phone calls won't ding my phone during the night. Problem is, I have a bad habit of keeping the phone set on "Alarms Only" and then people get agitated when I don't answer the phone or reply to my texts. Hobo Tongue

I'm not alone in stone age phone tech! Also upon looking, I do have that setting under the alarms feature! Thank you and Julep for prompting me to look for it there.

--

So back home for job interview tomorrow at alma mater. This means staying with my parents; great to see mom, less so to see dad. We weren't even back from the airport before he'd strayed through casual racism, casual sexism, and casual homophobia. By that point I just wanted a shower and a meal, because I'd been up since 3am. Anyhow, my socks were stinky from sweat and traveling from about 4am to 9pm.

Today after I go to Mass I get, "I'm the one that's going to be the asshole here..." and my first thought was, "you aren't every day of your life anyhow?" Queue up long speech on how I'm never going to get a good job anywhere if I stink as bad as I did yesterday and how I need to shave more and stop being so slovenly in how I dress. (I had one day's stubble from not shaving before the planes. I was in sweats and a tee shirt, both clean, instead of business casual, for traveling.) And then he continued on how I stunk so badly yesterday and need to be more aware of my body odor (I already use an anti-perspirant deodorant from Old Spice and Axe body spray).

So yeah, after an hour of being reamed on my body image and how I apparently am a worthless hobo, we went into how I'm too picky when it comes to dating and how I'm such a disappointment to him for not being married by now, and for not going out and meeting people all the time. And basically how I'm going to either be single forever or become a priest and how much it would piss him off if I became a priest, and how I need to move home because he and mom are getting old, but also how I won't get this job due to the fact I'm such a stinky hobo.

Then he moved on to ranting how my mother's cooking makes him fat because she just cooks potatoes all the time and such. (She cooks them because he basically refuses to eat anything else. Also he eats shit ton of junk food and spends his entire retirement sitting in front of a computer playing Civilization VI and fantasy sports.) Then he started ranting about we need to reform food stamps, and people mooch off the system, and so on.

"But I do love you and always have and I'm proud of you" he did say at one point. I admit, my feet stunk to high heaven yesterday after a day of travel, and I apologized profusely. But I didn't shave only the morning of the travel, so I had one day of stubble. But I did not deserve the hour of reaming and body shaming I just got at all. Part of me wants to say to myself, "if he ever speaks to me the way he did this morning again, I will turn down any job offer I get here and never move back."

Edit: And now he's ranting at me for not being done with my teaching demo for tomorrow, the one I was working on when he decided it was an excellent time to try and shatter my self confidence and say my life is essentially worthless.

Edit 2: "You wanted to go become a teacher when James wanted you to go into the FBI, but you decided not to." No, James our neighbor, who worked at one of the FBI's facilities, suggested I apply there, then he died. I applied for multiple jobs and didn't get them. However, I am now an assistant professor, and I do teach as one of many parts of my job. I work more hours per week than you ever did in your barely above minimum wage drug store job.

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09-04-2017, 09:40 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(09-04-2017 08:32 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(07-04-2017 09:49 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I have a Stone Age phone, Shai. Mine has a ringer setting for "Alarms Only" that way texts or phone calls won't ding my phone during the night. Problem is, I have a bad habit of keeping the phone set on "Alarms Only" and then people get agitated when I don't answer the phone or reply to my texts. Hobo Tongue

I'm not alone in stone age phone tech! Also upon looking, I do have that setting under the alarms feature! Thank you and Julep for prompting me to look for it there.

--

So back home for job interview tomorrow at alma mater. This means staying with my parents; great to see mom, less so to see dad. We weren't even back from the airport before he'd strayed through casual racism, casual sexism, and casual homophobia. By that point I just wanted a shower and a meal, because I'd been up since 3am. Anyhow, my socks were stinky from sweat and traveling from about 4am to 9pm.

Today after I go to Mass I get, "I'm the one that's going to be the asshole here..." and my first thought was, "you aren't every day of your life anyhow?" Queue up long speech on how I'm never going to get a good job anywhere if I stink as bad as I did yesterday and how I need to shave more and stop being so slovenly in how I dress. (I had one day's stubble from not shaving before the planes. I was in sweats and a tee shirt, both clean, instead of business casual, for traveling.) And then he continued on how I stunk so badly yesterday and need to be more aware of my body odor (I already use an anti-perspirant deodorant from Old Spice and Axe body spray).

So yeah, after an hour of being reamed on my body image and how I apparently am a worthless hobo, we went into how I'm too picky when it comes to dating and how I'm such a disappointment to him for not being married by now, and for not going out and meeting people all the time. And basically how I'm going to either be single forever or become a priest and how much it would piss him off if I became a priest, and how I need to move home because he and mom are getting old, but also how I won't get this job due to the fact I'm such a stinky hobo.

Then he moved on to ranting how my mother's cooking makes him fat because she just cooks potatoes all the time and such. (She cooks them because he basically refuses to eat anything else. Also he eats shit ton of junk food and spends his entire retirement sitting in front of a computer playing Civilization VI and fantasy sports.) Then he started ranting about we need to reform food stamps, and people mooch off the system, and so on.

"But I do love you and always have and I'm proud of you" he did say at one point. I admit, my feet stunk to high heaven yesterday after a day of travel, and I apologized profusely. But I didn't shave only the morning of the travel, so I had one day of stubble. But I did not deserve the hour of reaming and body shaming I just got at all. Part of me wants to say to myself, "if he ever speaks to me the way he did this morning again, I will turn down any job offer I get here and never move back."

Edit: And now he's ranting at me for not being done with my teaching demo for tomorrow, the one I was working on when he decided it was an excellent time to try and shatter my self confidence and say my life is essentially worthless.

Edit 2: "You wanted to go become a teacher when James wanted you to go into the FBI, but you decided not to." No, James our neighbor, who worked at one of the FBI's facilities, suggested I apply there, then he died. I applied for multiple jobs and didn't get them. However, I am now an assistant professor, and I do teach as one of many parts of my job. I work more hours per week than you ever did in your barely above minimum wage drug store job.

How awful of him. I'm very sorry you are being subjected to that kind of abuse.

A question: is this typical or could it be a sign of dementia starting to take hold?
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09-04-2017, 11:26 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(09-04-2017 09:40 AM)julep Wrote:  
(09-04-2017 08:32 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  I'm not alone in stone age phone tech! Also upon looking, I do have that setting under the alarms feature! Thank you and Julep for prompting me to look for it there.

--

So back home for job interview tomorrow at alma mater. This means staying with my parents; great to see mom, less so to see dad. We weren't even back from the airport before he'd strayed through casual racism, casual sexism, and casual homophobia. By that point I just wanted a shower and a meal, because I'd been up since 3am. Anyhow, my socks were stinky from sweat and traveling from about 4am to 9pm.

Today after I go to Mass I get, "I'm the one that's going to be the asshole here..." and my first thought was, "you aren't every day of your life anyhow?" Queue up long speech on how I'm never going to get a good job anywhere if I stink as bad as I did yesterday and how I need to shave more and stop being so slovenly in how I dress. (I had one day's stubble from not shaving before the planes. I was in sweats and a tee shirt, both clean, instead of business casual, for traveling.) And then he continued on how I stunk so badly yesterday and need to be more aware of my body odor (I already use an anti-perspirant deodorant from Old Spice and Axe body spray).

So yeah, after an hour of being reamed on my body image and how I apparently am a worthless hobo, we went into how I'm too picky when it comes to dating and how I'm such a disappointment to him for not being married by now, and for not going out and meeting people all the time. And basically how I'm going to either be single forever or become a priest and how much it would piss him off if I became a priest, and how I need to move home because he and mom are getting old, but also how I won't get this job due to the fact I'm such a stinky hobo.

Then he moved on to ranting how my mother's cooking makes him fat because she just cooks potatoes all the time and such. (She cooks them because he basically refuses to eat anything else. Also he eats shit ton of junk food and spends his entire retirement sitting in front of a computer playing Civilization VI and fantasy sports.) Then he started ranting about we need to reform food stamps, and people mooch off the system, and so on.

"But I do love you and always have and I'm proud of you" he did say at one point. I admit, my feet stunk to high heaven yesterday after a day of travel, and I apologized profusely. But I didn't shave only the morning of the travel, so I had one day of stubble. But I did not deserve the hour of reaming and body shaming I just got at all. Part of me wants to say to myself, "if he ever speaks to me the way he did this morning again, I will turn down any job offer I get here and never move back."

Edit: And now he's ranting at me for not being done with my teaching demo for tomorrow, the one I was working on when he decided it was an excellent time to try and shatter my self confidence and say my life is essentially worthless.

Edit 2: "You wanted to go become a teacher when James wanted you to go into the FBI, but you decided not to." No, James our neighbor, who worked at one of the FBI's facilities, suggested I apply there, then he died. I applied for multiple jobs and didn't get them. However, I am now an assistant professor, and I do teach as one of many parts of my job. I work more hours per week than you ever did in your barely above minimum wage drug store job.

How awful of him. I'm very sorry you are being subjected to that kind of abuse.

A question: is this typical or could it be a sign of dementia starting to take hold?

Sadly typical of him. Like when my mother had to have cancer surgery about a decade ago now, he "joked" at my expense. I came home after work, and he was in the kitchen, "Son it's about your mother's surgery, they..." his voice cracked and I started to cry, "got it all!" he began laughing, "I got you!" But thank you. Sad

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09-04-2017, 11:29 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(09-04-2017 11:26 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(09-04-2017 09:40 AM)julep Wrote:  How awful of him. I'm very sorry you are being subjected to that kind of abuse.

A question: is this typical or could it be a sign of dementia starting to take hold?

Sadly typical of him. Like when my mother had to have cancer surgery about a decade ago now, he "joked" at my expense. I came home after work, and he was in the kitchen, "Son it's about your mother's surgery, they..." his voice cracked and I started to cry, "got it all!" he began laughing, "I got you!" But thank you. Sad

Your father is a mean, bitter, hateful old man. Sadly it sounds he has always been so.

There is something really awful about being the butt of a parent's joke. It seems to cut deeper than it would from anyone else.

I am sorry you deal with this kind of crap. Hug

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09-04-2017, 03:07 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Thanks Anjele Hug And agreed that he is, has been, and continues to be. It really does cut deep. Like he doesn't realize that I truly want a good cry right now, but as far as he's concerned, he didn't manage to truly cut that differently because I have a good damn poker face when I need to. Part of me will be happy to fly back to WI on Tuesday, though it was great to see my mom, will be great to see best friend and his girlfriend tonight, and it will be both terrifying and neat to see people from alma mater tomorrow at the interview.

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09-04-2017, 06:48 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(09-04-2017 11:26 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(09-04-2017 09:40 AM)julep Wrote:  How awful of him. I'm very sorry you are being subjected to that kind of abuse.

A question: is this typical or could it be a sign of dementia starting to take hold?

Sadly typical of him. Like when my mother had to have cancer surgery about a decade ago now, he "joked" at my expense. I came home after work, and he was in the kitchen, "Son it's about your mother's surgery, they..." his voice cracked and I started to cry, "got it all!" he began laughing, "I got you!" But thank you. Sad

It sounds like there's something emotionally off with him. Not just a little, but a lot. I hope you'll feel up to calling him on it, at some point.

My father thinks it's really funny to talk about how he could have had my mother killed for leaving him back in the day, even with my 8-year-old kid, her grandson, in the car. (the car: a pink Cadillac with I Love Mary Kay Cosmetics in white letters across the windshield, his current wife--it was her Cadillac for that year--sitting right next to him. He's driving 45 MPH or so on the highway, people beeping and passing us, nonstop, joking about saying "nah, not this year" about having his previous wife murdered by an ex con.)

I told him to shut up, that he was being absolutely inappropriate. And he did. He doesn't get to act like an asshole around me, now that I'm a grownup, without me calling him on it.

I understand that you want to see your mom and your friends without too much hassle, but maybe it's time to tell somebody off. Up to you, of course, but in my personal experience, it feels awesome. My father never raised that point of conversation again.
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10-04-2017, 07:23 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(09-04-2017 08:32 AM)Shai Hulud Wrote:  
(07-04-2017 09:49 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  I have a Stone Age phone, Shai. Mine has a ringer setting for "Alarms Only" that way texts or phone calls won't ding my phone during the night. Problem is, I have a bad habit of keeping the phone set on "Alarms Only" and then people get agitated when I don't answer the phone or reply to my texts. Hobo Tongue

I'm not alone in stone age phone tech! Also upon looking, I do have that setting under the alarms feature! Thank you and Julep for prompting me to look for it there.

You're welcome. Dodgy

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10-04-2017, 08:14 AM
RE: Ranting corner
Looking forward to a job interview for about 5 days, finally gets to today. I wake up get dressed up and nice. I am so excited and nervous, get to the place. Guy who is interviewing me is out doing work somewhere else, have to reschedule for tomorrow.




Weeping

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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10-04-2017, 08:28 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(10-04-2017 08:14 AM)JDog554 Wrote:  Looking forward to a job interview for about 5 days, finally gets to today. I wake up get dressed up and nice. I am so excited and nervous, get to the place. Guy who is interviewing me is out doing work somewhere else, have to reschedule for tomorrow.




Weeping

Keep at it amigo Smile Get that job!

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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10-04-2017, 08:32 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(10-04-2017 08:14 AM)JDog554 Wrote:  Looking forward to a job interview for about 5 days, finally gets to today. I wake up get dressed up and nice. I am so excited and nervous, get to the place. Guy who is interviewing me is out doing work somewhere else, have to reschedule for tomorrow.




Weeping

Do you really want to work at a place like that? Disorganized, unable to communicate, etc.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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