Ranting corner
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 8 Votes - 4.5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
16-04-2017, 10:03 PM
RE: Ranting corner
The worst of it is I rarely if ever say no to anything she asks. Said she was going shopping with a friend and that they'd drop her off later (they picked her up too), but then it dawned on me after that it's fucking Easter and there are some stores that are closed. Texted her to ask if she was still shopping and if she was at a particular mall. She said yes. I checked online and it said they were closed today; called up to the mall and even their regular hours on Sunday, they close at 6. It was well past 6 when she said "yes". So who knows where she was. So then I straight up text "Where are you" and her story fucking changes. Said oh they finished shopping and then they went to the park and now they were riding around and talking. So fucking lied straight up. So fucking doubled down on the lie. I am sick of this shit. Try to do better than my parents did and not hover over mine or shelter them all the time and I get lied to anyway. My parents always said no and never wanted me to do anything and I snuck out. If it were that situation with me and my daughter, I would understand her going and lying or whatever. But that is not the situation.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Escape Artist's post
17-04-2017, 06:36 AM
RE: Ranting corner
Hug I'm so sorry EA.

Need to think of a witty signature.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-04-2017, 07:16 AM
RE: Ranting corner
So, feeling okay today. Not going to let it ruin my day. But if she's going to lie to me, I'll treat her like a liar. I wasn't a hardass, I didn't check up on everything she did, assuming she was lying and then being surprised if the truth came out, but now that has changed. Now if she wants to go somewhere, I'm going to have to talk to the parent or whoever and double-check to be sure it's the truth because I can't trust a word out of her mouth anymore.

She could have said "Mom, I was really torn up about dad not showing up to my party and I just need to go out and talk to a friend." and I would have been fine. I would have wanted to know what friend exactly and when they would be back and be sure she was careful and safe, and that'd have been it. She could have said "Mom my boyfriend is coming to pick me up. I was hurt about the party yesterday and I just need to blow off some steam. I think I may be ready to have sex with him too" and even then, though I would have been nervous as fuck about that, I'd have gone over safe sex precautions and have asked that instead of going out somewhere with him alone that she just stay home and be in the safety of her own room and her own home that way Rev and I could be there in the next room and she wouldn't be in the backseat of a car. But she didn't do any of that. She chose to destroy my trust. No trust, no relationship. Not really.

As I said, not gonna yell at her. Didn't say a damn word to her when she came in last night because there is no point talking to a liar. But she will get treated like a liar now. I have less than zero tolerance for that shit. Her dad made damn sure of that.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Escape Artist's post
17-04-2017, 07:17 AM
RE: Ranting corner
Thanks, Shai. Hug

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Escape Artist's post
17-04-2017, 07:28 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(17-04-2017 07:16 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  As I said, not gonna yell at her. Didn't say a damn word to her when she came in last night because there is no point talking to a liar. But she will get treated like a liar now. I have less than zero tolerance for that shit. Her dad made damn sure of that.

As much as you're justifiably feeling hurt, (and I'm not a parent, so I'm talking outta my ass), may I suggest rather not be too harsh with her? Kids are thoughtless, she doesn't know the pain you've been through.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like morondog's post
17-04-2017, 07:31 AM
RE: Ranting corner
Break week, beautiful spring weather, so of course I'm going to be sick.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like julep's post
17-04-2017, 08:07 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(17-04-2017 07:28 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(17-04-2017 07:16 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  As I said, not gonna yell at her. Didn't say a damn word to her when she came in last night because there is no point talking to a liar. But she will get treated like a liar now. I have less than zero tolerance for that shit. Her dad made damn sure of that.

As much as you're justifiably feeling hurt, (and I'm not a parent, so I'm talking outta my ass), may I suggest rather not be too harsh with her? Kids are thoughtless, she doesn't know the pain you've been through.

You're the second person to tell me she's just a kid. I don't care if she's just a kid. She knows how I feel about lying and she did it anyway. She made her bed so she may as well get comfortable. And another thing, I lived with a liar for a decade. You can give no quarter to a liar. If you let them get away with it or excuse it, they will continue. The only proper response to a liar is to withdraw trust.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-04-2017, 08:10 AM
RE: Ranting corner
I don't see my kids as kids so much as I see them as other people I interact with. If another person proves themselves to be a liar, I disengage. She doesn't get a pass just because we share genetic information.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-04-2017, 08:13 AM
RE: Ranting corner
(17-04-2017 07:16 AM)Escape Artist Wrote:  So, feeling okay today. Not going to let it ruin my day. But if she's going to lie to me, I'll treat her like a liar. I wasn't a hardass, I didn't check up on everything she did, assuming she was lying and then being surprised if the truth came out, but now that has changed. Now if she wants to go somewhere, I'm going to have to talk to the parent or whoever and double-check to be sure it's the truth because I can't trust a word out of her mouth anymore.

She could have said "Mom, I was really torn up about dad not showing up to my party and I just need to go out and talk to a friend." and I would have been fine. I would have wanted to know what friend exactly and when they would be back and be sure she was careful and safe, and that'd have been it. She could have said "Mom my boyfriend is coming to pick me up. I was hurt about the party yesterday and I just need to blow off some steam. I think I may be ready to have sex with him too" and even then, though I would have been nervous as fuck about that, I'd have gone over safe sex precautions and have asked that instead of going out somewhere with him alone that she just stay home and be in the safety of her own room and her own home that way Rev and I could be there in the next room and she wouldn't be in the backseat of a car. But she didn't do any of that. She chose to destroy my trust. No trust, no relationship. Not really.

As I said, not gonna yell at her. Didn't say a damn word to her when she came in last night because there is no point talking to a liar. But she will get treated like a liar now. I have less than zero tolerance for that shit. Her dad made damn sure of that.

Aint no kid wanna talk to their parents about sex, just sayin.

Also, you need to communicate this lying shit with her. In a calm manner.
Not trusting her anymore isn't going to solve anything. Yelling isn't going to solve anything either. What's going to solve things is if you sit down with her and talk to her about why she feels the need to lie to you, especially considering when you don't mind her going out with friends or even her boyfriend or whatever you simply just want to know where she is so you know she's safe. You're worried about her because you love her blah blah all that gay shit just lay it on thick in a nice calm manner. Maybe explain your situation with you and your mother or you and her father and how you don't want to have a sour relationship with her like that etc.. etc..

But if you simply no longer trust her and are phoning up parents and helicoptering the shit over her then you're just gonna sour the relationship between you two and she's going to push against you even harder.

[Image: oscar.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 8 users Like earmuffs's post
17-04-2017, 08:21 AM
RE: Ranting corner
Quote:You're the second person to tell me she's just a kid. I don't care if she's just a kid.

Well you should. Kids are not adults. Hormonal teenagers are not adults. You need to treat them appropriately and that is not always treating them as if they were always an adult.

I understand that people in the past, your daughters father, your mother, have given you cause for distrust but you can't blame or punish your daughter for their wrong actions. That's not fair.

[Image: oscar.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like earmuffs's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: