Ranting corner
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18-07-2017, 07:57 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(18-07-2017 07:09 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  nm, spoke too soon.

I'm guessing something came between you and your one true love. I'm sorry dude. Hugs.

(I could be assuming a lot but that dude from work shit was pretty vague so....)

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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18-07-2017, 10:51 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(18-07-2017 07:57 PM)JesseB Wrote:  
(18-07-2017 07:09 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  nm, spoke too soon.

I'm guessing something came between you and your one true love. I'm sorry dude. Hugs.

(I could be assuming a lot but that dude from work shit was pretty vague so....)

Yea, I thought he wasn't going to show up for lunch and stood me up.
I forgot he's basically a mirror image of me and so he didn't wake up till 1pm. ><

We had a great fucking time. I think I'm pretty safe to bump us up from pre-friends to friends. Consider

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19-07-2017, 04:18 PM
RE: Ranting corner
I have survived the cursed wedding of July 2017, and only sorta wished it had gone the route of the Red Wedding. Wink

Ranting below:
So a recap that is by no means exhaustive should begin on Wednesday night, with the Bachelor Party. My mom split the hotel room cost with me, so she could get a vacation with some air conditioning in this oppressive heat and humidity, so I dropped her off at 11:30am and headed the hour and a half to "Uncle Mark's" where I was told to meet the guys. I stopped halfway there to pee in [bride's parents' town] and paid 3 tolls and almost ended up back at the West Virginia border by the time I was done. The whole way, the GPS kept dying because even plugged in, it wasn't holding a charge, so I was going into the rural unknown with an only occasionally working GPS. Got to "Uncle Mark's"...pulled into driveway, saw I missed two phone calls and two texts while driving. They were telling me that the guys were meeting in [bride's parents' house]...apparently everyone else was told last week. No one thought to tell me, so I had to retrace my steps 50 minutes of driving back. Got there and everyone thought it was hilarious...bridezilla was telling everyone if she had her way she'd make us do a freaking essay test on our wedding duties from the 6 page timeline/itenerary. Followed them into Pittsburgh for Dave and Busters. That was fun, but Groomzilla had us walk the whole way around the game floor between each game he demanded we play. After that we walked around a shopping area in 90 degree weather, and then didn't go in anywhere, then to Burgatory for shakes, where one of groom's brothers left our waitress a note and asked her to the wedding (she never replied). We ended up then driving around Pittsburgh, and then up to the top of the mountain there to look at the city...and had to park 3/4th of the way up, walk the rest of the way up, and then walk to each of the overlooks before walking back to the car. (We also got to the top just in time to see a guy propose! She said yes.) When all that was done, it was time for me to drive an hour and a half back to the hotel.

Friday, I had reception setup, wedding rehearsal, and wedding rehearsal dinner. Venue would not turn on the air conditioning, so we were setting up stuff for four hours in the heat and humidity. Centerpieces were pieces of logs the bride's dad cut, and then vases full of a rose, rocks, and water on top, with smaller log pieces to the side with votive candles on it. Wedding rehearsal went okay. Wedding rehearsal dinner was in one of the scummiest places in town and slow. Mostly people drinking; around this point bride and groom tried to set single maid of honor and I up, and while we did enjoy each other's company (and ability to whine to one another) no spark was there.

Saturday was D-Day. Bridezilla woke her entire party at her hotel at 5:30am because she couldn't sleep. Groomzilla began the photos and suiting up around 9am. I was forced to give him a bottle of water as part of my "hydration team" duties before we even left the hotel because he refused to drink from the tap. We took our respective vehicles out of hotel lot and Groom's brother almost t-boned me when he pulled out of his spot without looking. He got screamed at by Groomzilla for that. We got to church, Groomzilla was freaking out, so shadowed him mostly to calm him down, received the rings for holding. Helped seat people from both sides of it all. Eventually we processed in, with maid of honor and I both almost already at the end of our ropes, but we were troopers and didn't show it. Priest and I had a ball joking before the Wedding Mass and during the Sign of Peace. he asked if I thought they were going to run during the Sign of Peace, I said yes but that I didn't think I could catch up to groomzilla to tackle him, he sagely mock-advised I just step on bridezilla's dress to stop her and it would stop them both. Ceremony went without a hitch. Then came photos in the church with much barking of orders. Then the box with all of groomzilla's important things and bridezilla's dad's car keys were locked in the sacristy. Both priests who officiated had left, so had pastoral associate with all the keys, etc. I eventually found the priest assigned there and got the stuff out, but this got me yelled at by bridezilla and groomzilla for making them be behind schedule...still trying to figure out how this is all my fault. Given I was the one holding their marriage certificate, you'd think they'd not want to have pissed me off. Then we all went to the university to take photos in the grove, and there was a drum circle and admissions tours going on all around it. Eventually all other bridal party members were dismissed to venue and I was sent to get bottles of water for bridezilla and groomzilla and had to be in the heat for another 1.5 hours with them as their personal servant during photos. Never a "please" or "thank you", just barked orders. Then I had to drive them to reception venue; in the car bridezilla tried to scream orders at me to run red lights, "stop being a Crim professor for five minutes! We have to get the photos in outside [venue] before 5pm, it's the only fixed time in the entire wedding!" We got to the venue and then had to march through a family reunion it was also hosting, and past a bouncy house of all things, to their wedding arch they had set up the night before. However then I was sent in after rest of wedding party, plus flower girl and ring bearer, and had to move their important wedding stuff from my car to their car. We got photos, got into the venue; bridezilla screams at me to tuck in my shirt (after carrying stuff), I have my hand on it, when she screams at me again to tuck it in. Her father gently reprimanded her, telling her not to scream at me, I was doing it. We got into the venue, lined up, and then venue was 20 minutes late having us process inward. I gave a really nice speech that I got many congrats for, here's a rough cut down version, "Hello everyone, thanks for coming out here today to help celebrate the love and wedding of [bridezilla and groomzilla]. I was honoured to meet them both at the Catholic Student Association about 5 years ago, and four and a half years ago in the Little Ceasars at the K-Mart closing down the street, [groomzilla] told me that he had a date with [bridezilla] and how excited he was about it. From then on it's been a pleasure to watch them grow together in love and faith, and they've been inseperable. They've done concerts together and workouts, they've taught together and gone on trips, and always sharing a love of a music. Today begins a new chapter in their relationship, one that each of us has been given the honour of sharing with them today and I am confident that this love story will continue to grow and to endure. Unlike the K-Mart that's closing down the street. Thank you!" Dinner was tiny , dancing was awful, and an "eccentric" family friend of Groomzilla's family sexually harassed every woman he could. Maid of Honor works in a court-ordered mental health place, and we both agreed in our professional opinions that he's probably a rapist who has never gotten caught. (Like we were each willing to lay down a good thousand on that bet, and neither of us are betting people.) I spent much of the evening being used by bridesmaids as a human shield from him. One bridesmaid and I had to recruit parents and such to get the happy couple away from the door so the car could be decorated. Eventually they left and we cleaned up. I hauled logs out to a van, emptied all the vases, with two buckets filled with rocks, 3 buckets filled with water from the vases, etc. While we loaded the stuff, bridezilla's brother turned to me, "Thank God, we fucking survived." You said it bro. It was about 11pm when I got back to hotel. By that point I had been in my undershirt, shirt, tie, and suit jacket for 14 hours in 90 degree heat and humidity. Undershirt was still soaked with sweat for about 24 hours after wedding.

Sunday was relaxation day. Mom and I did some shopping, and ate at my favorite places. This morning I took Groomzilla to rental car place after picking him up at the Hilton Garden Inn. Both Bridezilla and Groomzilla kept making a huge deal this weekend about their first nights as husband and wife being at the Hilton. they dropped the word Hilton so many times. As I muttered to myself, "A Hilton Garden Inn is not a fucking Hilton. I've stayed at Hiltons, and those are not the same."
Drive home sucked, lots of accidents on the road and lots of road construction. Including one where we went on some one lane backroads to bypass a three hour or so back-up on the interstate.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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19-07-2017, 07:23 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Congratulations! I think they should nominate you for sainthood.

But (and maybe I've missed this along the way) is a Red Wedding?

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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19-07-2017, 07:32 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(19-07-2017 07:23 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Congratulations! I think they should nominate you for sainthood.

But (and maybe I've missed this along the way) is a Red Wedding?

It's a Game of Thrones reference. It didn't turn out well.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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19-07-2017, 07:53 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Thanks. I never would have gotten that!

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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19-07-2017, 10:35 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(19-07-2017 07:53 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Thanks. I never would have gotten that!

I didn't, either. I watch almost no TV. If one counts seeing the TV when I walk through the room, that means I watch some. I do watch some things, but most of it just annoys me. I can do "willful suspension of disbelief" with a book much better.
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19-07-2017, 11:21 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(18-07-2017 10:51 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(18-07-2017 07:57 PM)JesseB Wrote:  I'm guessing something came between you and your one true love. I'm sorry dude. Hugs.

(I could be assuming a lot but that dude from work shit was pretty vague so....)

Yea, I thought he wasn't going to show up for lunch and stood me up.
I forgot he's basically a mirror image of me and so he didn't wake up till 1pm. ><

We had a great fucking time. I think I'm pretty safe to bump us up from pre-friends to friends. Consider

Thought that was already established.

Kids these days.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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19-07-2017, 11:23 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(19-07-2017 07:32 PM)Anjele Wrote:  It's a Game of Thrones reference. It didn't turn out well.

Holy crap I understood that.

Huh...I just realized that I know something relavent.

That's happening now and I don't have to wait several years to understand.

Color me surprised.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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20-07-2017, 08:23 AM
RE: Ranting corner
I think I might need to update that status from friends back down to pre-friends. I think I gave him food poisoning. He's probably hating my guts right now. I was terrified this was gonna happen if I cook something so I washed my hands, clean everything, all spotless and careful, nothing undercooked or even remotely expired and yet it still happened. My worst fear. After needles. My only conclusion was that I did it on some subconscious level as a way of my body rejecting foreign substances in my life. Like how you sweat like crazy when you're sick it's because it's your body trying to get rid of whatever is making you sick. My brain was like "friends, what is this foreign concept, danger danger" and so subconsciously I sabotaged Wednesdays lunch by poisoning this poor dude. Proving, yet again, that I, myself, am my own worst enemy and that not only is the entire world out to ensure that my entire existence is as miserable as possible but I, myself, am serving, on an unconscious but also sometimes conscious level, to reinforce and actively work towards said world's desired end.

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