Ranting corner
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28-05-2013, 12:45 PM
RE: Ranting corner
You look like you're on drugs, anyway. I have an eye dr. appt next week, they're gonna put the dilator stuff in. I hate how sunlight hurts my eyeballs after that.
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28-05-2013, 12:48 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-05-2013 02:30 PM)Peanut Wrote:  I'm broke Censored

Panic mode: Engaged.

Hobo <---Interesting. That little smiley is called a "hobo." I'm gonna be homeless.

Ditto SadcryfaceExcl

Wisdom from my eldest "Life's short... Get stoned!"
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28-05-2013, 01:17 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Sorry Amyb - your Mom, though loving and probably at her wit's end, is simply enabling your brother's dumb ass. He didn't pay attention while people were teaching him how to grow up and now, he doesn't know how to be an adult. I don't see him so much as being a junkie(maybe) rather, ridiculously irresponsible to himself and everyone around him.

Like Muffs, I also suggest several months in the county lockup. If he hasn't done anything lately to pin on him, then put him in a secure drug rehab place with intense psychotherapy. Maybe something with a bootcamp setting, surrounded by a desert. A place where he will no longer have anyone to bail him out. Tell your Mom it's either that or he will be in hard core prison before he is 30 and spiral down from that point.

Your Mom needs to see that she isn't doing him a favor by keeping his record clean - she's actually ruining his future. If she isn't that troubled about the money, then she can certainly use that money to put him into the institutions he needs to be in. It will also help her keep her sanity... and keep his dumb ass away from your shit. Dodgy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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28-05-2013, 01:26 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-05-2013 12:45 PM)amyb Wrote:  You look like you're on drugs, anyway. I have an eye dr. appt next week, they're gonna put the dilator stuff in. I hate how sunlight hurts my eyeballs after that.

If only. Instead of drugs i got my eyeballs pushed on. Thats far less pleasant lol
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28-05-2013, 01:39 PM (This post was last modified: 28-05-2013 01:43 PM by amyb.)
RE: Ranting corner
(28-05-2013 01:17 PM)kim Wrote:  If she isn't that troubled about the money, then she can certainly use that money to put him into the institutions he needs to be in. It will also help her keep her sanity... and keep his dumb ass away from your shit. Dodgy
She is troubled about the money, but you can't get tens of thousands of dollars from someone who has never worked before, has no savings, and has never held a job. She has a part time job and lives on social security. She can't "use that money" to put him in an institution or drug rehab, because she doesn't have any money, and now she doesn't have any valuables, either. She is below the poverty line since my dad died, and cannot conceivably get the money to have him put in a place like that. She can't afford to get him the regular doctor care he should have (and refuses to get a job to pay for), such as asthma and allergy doctors. And she refused to press charges, and that was a while ago. I've had that conversation with her many times before, and she will not budge. The only way things are gonna change, IMO, is if he gets arrested for something else. She also refuses when I suggest she might benefit from a therapist. I should also mention she had breast cancer, and still has follow up visits for that, which isn't cheap.

I'm at wit's end, too. I don't know. I do know that shit can't go on like this forever.
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28-05-2013, 01:55 PM
RE: Ranting corner
amyb...I doubt your mom is old enough for what he is doing to be called elder abuse.

There comes a time when you have to realize you have done all you can do. Both your mom and your brother are adults (at least in age) and you can't make either one of them do anything. Get anything of yours out of your mother's house. At this point you have to accept that this is their dance and you can't do much to change it.

I have seen a lot of young people get away with a lot because their parent(s) feel guilty that the kid turned out badly. Because of that guilt, they keep letting the kid get away with things, even theft.

It is an enabling situation. It may do you some good to check out Al-Anon or something similar to learn more about how the mind of an addict works and how the mind of an enabler works.

Sucky situation...my daughter's brother-in -law has pulled similar crap on his mom and grandmother and been physically abusive. They hide it from my daughter and her husband until it gets so bad that grandma finally sneaks in a call to them...usually after he has stolen all her medications and left bruises on them both. But, his mom feels bad and won't call the police. They were so relieved when he got arrested for DUI because they would be able to sleep at night, at least till he gets out...sad, sad situation.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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28-05-2013, 02:03 PM
RE: Ranting corner
It's too bad your Mom couldn't have used her own valuables to help herself live more comfortably.

I'd say it's time to boot the brother out of the house with a change of the locks and a restraining order. These three simple things can help to change your brother's life and help your Mom with her own.

Rent his room out to a college student - a tight end or a running back should do well - a big one. They're often better than a dog for security and they might even take out the trash upon request.

When the brother returns to gain entry (and he will) he will be arrested and the restraining order will take over - it will be no fault of your Mom's. Responsibility begins in the home. Shy

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28-05-2013, 02:29 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Thanks guys.

The only possessions I have stored there are my guitars, which are old and busted, but I already sent my best friend a txt asking if there is room in her new house. Hell, I'd give them to her 15 yo son if he wanted them. If she doesn't, a couple of my friends are always jamming together and one of them would likely be interested. I'd rather give them away than have them stolen, considering I don't have room for all that shit.

As for her stuff, besides the cash value, it had sentimental value. We're talking wedding rings, jewelry my dad got her for anniversaries (and my dad is dead now), and jewelry passed down from my great grandmother. Even if she could get the money from him, it would not replace those things. (After i called the police, I also called the place he sold them, and they said they were shipped off and could not be returned, it was a Cash4Gold place.)

But you're right about enabling and he does it because he knows he gets away with this shit, he's always gotten away with shit. I haven't been around, I went to college when he was 8 years old, I barely saw him after that. But my dad was having health problems of his own (lung cancer and emphysema, as well as work injuries from being a roofer) and couldn't be arsed, so he just gave him whatever he wanted. My uncle says Mike would just come into the bars where my dad and uncle were drinking after work and he'd demand money, and my dad always gave it to him. So when he died, he decided he liked free money and started stealing all the time. And part of it is my mom feeling guilty, too, yeah, but she's also afraid of him physically (he throws tantrums and is about a foot taller than her).

But yeah, I feel like I've done what I can do, which is mostly telling her how I feel and what I think she should do. She has refused to do anything, though.

She's told him he was kicked out before, locked the doors, and so on, but always lets him back in, and won't get a restraining order. I think something really bad would have to happen for her to do that. =\

She tells him to get a job, new place to live, whatever, and he swears at her, says stuff like "yeah, right." and mumbles to himself, tells her to STFU.

But I'm frustrated because it's been going on so long, his life is fucked up already, and he refuses to stop doing these things and also refuses to get any sort of help.

Now I can even remember times I was home from college, holidays and so on, I would get accused of stealing my dad's pills because he just refused to put any blame on mike. The day after my dad died, my mom noticed all my dad's pills were missing, and mike confessed to stealing and selling them, so it's pretty clear to me that he was stealing the pills back then, too. I got blamed because they knew I had done drugs before (like LSD, not stolen Rx drugs).
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28-05-2013, 04:04 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(28-05-2013 12:41 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  The doctor pushed ON MY EYEBALLS! Plus I look crazy...er now.

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Oh my...why?


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-05-2013, 04:07 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Amyb...dang I'm sorry.

Got a friend with an exhusband who stole from his own daughters to feed his addiction.

Its got to be beyond frustrating.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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