Ranting corner
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26-06-2013, 12:24 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-06-2013 03:40 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I feel bad, yet, I feel nothing when I say that I don't really care about losing this particular friend. She was hardly a friend at all; she never spoke to me, she never comforted me, she was just someone that was there. Her issues were shackles on my ankles, and as shameful as it is to admit in such a manner, as if I were setting a bird free from a cage, I think that I'll feel relieved when I wake up in a couple of hours.

"For now I'll learn and settle for less.
Shut my eyes and get some rest.
Feel the pulse beneath this sunken chest.
And maybe one day I can be there for you."

Always good to keep in mind - this insight can help you recognize and keep you from staying in codependent relationships. You've obviously grown beyond this person and this relationship. All you need to know is, in this kind of relationship, there is really no love lost rather, it's just been spent ... along with your time.

Shy

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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26-06-2013, 12:38 PM
RE: Ranting corner
what I would like to put on FB today- but won't.

"those are contrails from two planes going in different directions-NOT A FRIGGIN' SIGN THAT GOD IS SENDING YOU A MESSAGE ON THE DAY OF YOUR FATHER"S FUNERAL"

but I won't, it would just be cruel to say to an old college friend on one of the worst days of her life. Sad


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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26-06-2013, 01:10 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-06-2013 12:38 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  what I would like to put on FB today- but won't.

"those are contrails from two planes going in different directions-NOT A FRIGGIN' SIGN THAT GOD IS SENDING YOU A MESSAGE ON THE DAY OF YOUR FATHER"S FUNERAL"

but I won't, it would just be cruel to say to an old college friend on one of the worst days of her life. Sad

You're doing the compassionate thing BA.

Throughout history conversions happen at the point of a sword, deconversions at the point of a pen - FC

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. - Mark Twain in Eruption
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26-06-2013, 01:37 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Speaking of heavenly signs your post reminded me of my parents telling me that it was always stormy and cloudy on Good Friday when I was a child. They told me this on a particularly dark GF. This made an impact on me and I remembered the next year, and wouldn't you know it, it was a beautiful, sunny day.

I mentioned this and no reply was given. Consider

Throughout history conversions happen at the point of a sword, deconversions at the point of a pen - FC

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. - Mark Twain in Eruption
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26-06-2013, 02:10 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-06-2013 10:31 AM)Vera Wrote:  Anyway, what I meant to say is that any relationship is a two-way street; it's as much about receiving, as it is about giving; both people in it are equally important and so are their problems. A good, healthy relationship shouldn't be a crutch for one of the people involved, because it's not fair on the other person; nor should arguments devolve into petty pissing contests, where people bring up stuff from prehistoric times... Well, I can go on and on, but I should probably shut it at one point Rolleyes

(My two cents on choosing friends: try to find out from the start whether the other person is in it because they need something from you (be it emotional support, attention, what have you) or because of you and the person you are. Easier said than done, though Confused )

I hope it all works out for you. Hug

Thank you Vera Hug

We were friends for about four years, and I never realized it fully (until our last moments throughout this recent year) that she only came to me when she needed someone. Sure, we had things in common and there were fun memories made when we hung out, but there was no bond. No communication. That is why our friendship ended. In the end we contradicted one another. I was the punching bag and tissue when she needed someone.

(26-06-2013 11:47 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Ferd...
Sorry...maybe some time apart would help. Sometimes things go all screwy in friendships and work out on their own, let time and tempers cool. Take a breath...relax, don't try to fix everything.
Hope things are better soon.

Even if things don't improve between us, I know that this is just another situation I'll learn from, and it will mold me into a stronger person.

(26-06-2013 12:24 PM)kim Wrote:  Always good to keep in mind - this insight can help you recognize and keep you from staying in codependent relationships. You've obviously grown beyond this person and this relationship. All you need to know is, in this kind of relationship, there is really no love lost rather, it's just been spent ... along with your time.

Shy

That's the only thing that bothers me. I spent so much time on her and trusted her. But in the end, the nicest cake is dropped, and that's just life.

[Image: pBvowKv.gif]
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26-06-2013, 02:19 PM
RE: Ranting corner
But if you have learned what kind of person drops the cake...you have learned a lot; a lot younger than most of us do!

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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26-06-2013, 02:32 PM
RE: Ranting corner
bunch of relatives in town this week, because it's summer and also it seems all my relatives have birthdays in june. Went out to eat a few times, going to the grandparents' again later today to eat, drink and be merry; but what I really hate is when somebody tells me to get the phone there, and the other party on the line thinks I'm my mom. Apparently I sound just like her. Sometimes they actually accuse me of lying, "I know this is you, Mary Ellen!" I am not Mary Ellen, I say, I'm Amy and I don't even know you. WTF. I hate being mistaken for other people.

The other thing that happens a lot on the phone at home is someone will call and ask to speak to my parents, because they're convinced I am younger than I am. This pisses me off, too. "You're not over 18, right? Can I speak to your mom or dad?" Fucking hell. I hate my voice. I did a podcast for a while and a few people who didn't listen to it at all commented to suggest that I am a little boy and too young to be trying to talk about shit on the internet.
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26-06-2013, 04:36 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-06-2013 02:10 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  she only came to me when she needed someone. I was the punching bag and tissue when she needed someone.

It's a really painful lesson, but a good one (and the sooner one learns it, the better) - way, way too many people are like this (in all fairness, I believe some of them do not even realise they're doing it and some are just unable to comprehend a world that doesn't revolve around them). A lot (if not most) people are too selfish and, consciously or not, only interested in what others can do for them. As long as you keep this in mind and do not let people use you and take you and your support for granted, you'll be all right. Smile

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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26-06-2013, 04:42 PM
RE: Ranting corner
Well fucking great. The temperature waited all day to get to ...
[Image: UGH_zpsfbb248b6.jpg]
I get to go to work now.

Excuse me while I drink a couple of liters of water. Dodgy

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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26-06-2013, 07:01 PM
RE: Ranting corner
(26-06-2013 04:36 PM)Vera Wrote:  
(26-06-2013 02:10 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  she only came to me when she needed someone. I was the punching bag and tissue when she needed someone.

It's a really painful lesson, but a good one (and the sooner one learns it, the better) - way, way too many people are like this (in all fairness, I believe some of them do not even realise they're doing it and some are just unable to comprehend a world that doesn't revolve around them). A lot (if not most) people are too selfish and, consciously or not, only interested in what others can do for them. As long as you keep this in mind and do not let people use you and take you and your support for granted, you'll be all right. Smile

This.

@Ferdinand: the whole thing sounds exactly like my former "best friend." Two years ago I decided I just could not take her shit anymore, haven't talked to her since, and have not regretted that decision for a minute. If somebody says shit like that and you know they're wrong, and they refuse to be reasonable, sometimes it's best to tell yourself you deserve better and to make new friends.
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