Rate the Last Film You've Seen
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16-06-2016, 10:08 PM (This post was last modified: 17-06-2016 07:16 PM by Revenant77x.)
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(16-06-2016 09:59 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(16-06-2016 09:13 AM)Revenant77x Wrote:  It's called The Grand Tour and is coming to Amazon Prime.

Yabut, is it coming to a pirate site near me? So you know, I can actually watch it?

I think Game of Thrones may lose the most pirated show title when the Boys debut.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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17-06-2016, 06:27 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
"The Fifth Wave". Obvious, obvious, obvious, and then unsurprising.
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17-06-2016, 06:40 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
Am I the only one who hated The Martian?
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19-06-2016, 07:46 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
Between the reviews from Bible Reloaded and God Awful Movies, I decided to go back and re-watch the Christiano brothers' film...God's Not Dead With a Biology Professor Instead and Nowhere Near the Budget A Matter of Faith. I saw it twice, when it released, in theaters.

When I first saw a trailer for the movie "A Matter of Faith", I told several friends, "This movie just seems to cry out for great snarking." I watched it twice in theaters and a few times now on DVD, the most recent time being last night, and find myself with the same problem as before. It was so utterly horrible in all facets, that it makes the last cheesy Christian movie I reviewed look like Casablanca, The Great Dictator, or any other number of great works of cinema. Yes, it's so bad that God's Not Dead 2, looks like fine cinema. Also for funsies, Answers in Genesis endorsed this cinematic abomination.

One paragraph description that encompasses the entire plot, below the spoiler tags.
Basically it's the story of a young girl who goes off to college named Rachel. Her dad hides $50 in her Bible for her to find, but she starts going out and meeting guys and doesn't find it at first and when visiting home, her dad still finds it in her unopened Bible. She speaks glowingly of her Biology prof, who is the only person in this film capable of sounding like a human being who isn't in some sort of wooden speaking cult. Thus her dad visits the college and confronts the professor in his office, who then challenges the dad to a debate. Other subplots ensue with various guys wanting to date Rachel, including Super Evangelical Evan, who passes along "Biblical science" to her dad while interviewing him pre-debate and putting him in touch with Professor Porter, who was fired for teaching Creationism 12 years before. Over the course of the film, Rachel re-dedicates herself to God, she gets together with Evan at the end, the father loses the debate...but Professor Porter comes in and supposedly destroys Professor Kaman from Biology (through the use of a complete lack of understanding of how evolution actually works, no less). And the professor is left wondering if the Chicken came first and Creationism is right.

There, with the story summed up, let's hit some snark worthy stuff:
1) The dad wants to make sure she finds a good church and is scared Karan is making her think for herself. Dear goodness, surely you don't mean that people shouldn't think for themselves! Actually, that's arguably one of the biggest messages of the movie.

2) Next biggest message of the movie? Those evil liberal academics will steal your children's souls and they plot against most Christians to make them look bad. Academics are almost entirely filled with atheistic cabals. Since my days in undergrad through 3 years of being a prof, I've never encountered this Christian stereotype of the evil atheist academic out to destroy the students' souls.

3) The dialogue sucks. I wrote better dialogue in my Pokémon fanfiction back in sixth and seventh grade. It's awkward, it's stilted, and the only person who doesn't sound like a pod person while delivering it is the "evil liberal atheist professor" stereotype. He's far and away the only one in this film that can actually act! Which brings me to the next point...

4) The walking stereotype is the most sympathetic character in this film. As a devoted follower of Christ who believes we were given brains for a reason, I cheered the villain of the movie in just about everything he did, except singling her out in class over the debate coming up, and saying man invented God. He's funny, he's smart, and while the dad and Super Evangelical Evan try to paint him as having an agenda, he's shown to actually care about the physical and mental well being of his students. Like when the dad goes to confront him the first time, they set up the debate, the daughter comes in and is horrified her father is taking umbridge at what her prof is teaching, and the villainous professor's reaction? It's to make sure the daughter, his student, is okay. For goodness sake, the man gives you a C if you actually show up each class and he can tell you're making an effort. Oh and when the dad tries to storm the prof's office over what he's teaching, the villain follows FERPA regulations and doesn't discuss student records.

5) Death = Redemption, or Losing Debate = Redemption. However, much like Kevin Sorbo dies at the end of God's Not Dead and accepts Jesus, we see similar here. A shaken Professor Kaman returns to his office the next Monday, barely speaking and takes out the rubber chicken from his box where he made a chicken and egg joke, seriously considering he was wrong about God and about Creationism.

6) The humor was very targeted to its audience. At one point, as Professor Porter returns to take on Kaman on the dad's behalf, he makes a joke that the stars could descend from the sky and spell out evolution being a lie in words and Kaman would blame it on "clever Baptists". Everyone on film and in the theater, both times I watched it there, laughed.

7) Whoever wrote all of this doesn't understand evolution, at all. Or the Big Bang. Or anything resembling science. Porter never disproves anything, he just says Creationism and Evolution are both matters of faith (ooh title drop!).

8) Many scenes are essentially some of the worst exposition in cinema. So boring.

9) They used the same exterior shot all the time to transition between scenes at the university. Ivy or kudzu or something crawling across a building but kept meticulously off the windows. After the 10th or so time, I could recall exactly what that building looked like.

10) They have like one song in the film. And it's such a shoestring budget that the credits take all of 2-3 minutes to finish.

11) Somehow when the daughter doesn't read her Bible for a week, this automatically means she's becoming an atheist in her father's eyes.

12) Bonus points, non-ironic use of the words, "He's an evolutionist!" and "None of these books even mentions Biblical Creation as a possibility!"

All in all, A Matter of Faith is a matter of sitting through stereotype after stereotype. There's a quote about how Christian cinema's greatest failing is that it's like pornography. You know the stereotypes, you know the plot, and you know exactly how things are going to end. Nothing surprised me the entire length of the film. I predicted every single thing. Literally. Every. Single. Thing.

Final Rating: 1/10

Need to think of a witty signature.
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19-06-2016, 03:57 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(17-06-2016 06:40 PM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  Am I the only one who hated The Martian?

No. Weeping

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20-06-2016, 07:36 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(17-06-2016 06:40 PM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  Am I the only one who hated The Martian?

I didn't hate it it, but it didn't blow me away either. I only went to see it because my friend (we usually go to movies together) is an engineer who goes ga-ga over this type of movie. For him, it was a must see. For me it was "meh".

He also is a big Star Wars nut. I can take or leave any of those movies -- even the original ones. He insisted on watching all three of those before going to see the new one, and all I could think was "these are really cheesy".
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21-06-2016, 07:54 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
The Witch (2015). Pretty good movie. Quite scary.
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21-06-2016, 07:57 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(17-06-2016 06:40 PM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  Am I the only one who hated The Martian?

Why?
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21-06-2016, 07:58 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(21-06-2016 07:54 AM)Tikbalang Wrote:  The Witch (2015). Pretty good movie. Quite scary.

Sociological recapitulation of 16th Century folk lore wasn't that bad. Father was a dick for getting his family booted out of civilization.
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21-06-2016, 08:24 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(21-06-2016 07:57 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  
(17-06-2016 06:40 PM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  Am I the only one who hated The Martian?

Why?

im not sure. im no expert on anything, but found myself saying "bullshit" a lot. i was also hoping that the main character would show more psychological stress wíle being isolated for so long. he generally just acted like it was one big inconvenience to him. i woulda lost my mind, personally.
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