Rate the Last Film You've Seen
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25-04-2017, 05:42 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(19-04-2017 07:57 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(15-04-2017 03:57 AM)f stop Wrote:  Jackie

There's a YouTube video titled Top 10 Movies Way Too Upsetting to Watch Twice. It's about movies that are excellent, well done films but just get to you. Schindler's List is at the top.

That's Jackie. Excellent movie. Natalie Portman deserves her Oscar nomination. But I could not take it, watching this great woman suffer. Somewhere in the middle I stopped it and sent it back to NetFlix.

Schindler's List is a fucking comedy compared to Silenced. A mother fucking comedy. I haven't seen Jackie but I bet your ass it's got nothing on Silenced either.

The issue with lists like that youtube video is that they only take into account stupid Hollywood films. And Hollywood can't do emotion to save itself. Silenced. Silenced. Silenced. I keep telling you that you fuckers need to watch that shit. Infinitely sadder than anything Hollywood's ever produced.

It's on my list.

I think it was released in that country as The Crucible


Guess it caused a huge uproar laws were changed.

But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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25-04-2017, 11:08 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(25-04-2017 05:32 PM)pablo Wrote:  
(19-04-2017 07:57 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  Schindler's List is a fucking comedy compared to Silenced. A mother fucking comedy. I haven't seen Jackie but I bet your ass it's got nothing on Silenced either.

The issue with lists like that youtube video is that they only take into account stupid Hollywood films. And Hollywood can't do emotion to save itself. Silenced. Silenced. Silenced. I keep telling you that you fuckers need to watch that shit. Infinitely sadder than anything Hollywood's ever produced.

I'm not emotionally or mentally stable enough to watch super sad movies.

Sadcryface Sadcryface2

Do it! You will totally regret it but at least I wont be the only one here who's seen it.
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26-04-2017, 03:50 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
(25-04-2017 05:32 PM)pablo Wrote:  I'm not emotionally or mentally stable enough to watch super sad movies.

Sadcryface Sadcryface2

I don't understand why people enjoy super sad movies. Like many hyper-violent or horror movies, to me they are just not entertaining.
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26-04-2017, 09:20 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
From the author and director of The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah, comes Gramps Goes to College. The story of a sexagenarian (who wrote the film and TUBM) retiree who is totally going to change this university. It's subtitled "higher education may have finally met its match". How bad is this movie? Well...I don't recall what I rated The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah, but lower than whatever that was. I think I gave it a 0.5? Let's give this a 0. I reserve the right to change this to negative star ratings.

So far I'm unimpressed. When I opened it, the DVD was loose and scratched to Hell. It'll be a minor miracle if this works the whole time. The teeth to hold the dvd in place were broken and nonexistent on 3/4 of the inner circle. Our first commercial is for some sort of ripoff of A Christmas Carol, but more Christian-y...do I know the name of this ripoff? No I do not, because they never freaking gave it. It just ended with "Coming this Christmas". Next one is about a self described country girl, and her boyfriend, and how she won't marry him until he becomes a Christian. And then he's cheating on her with someone from a dating site. Then he gets in a car wreck. "Everything changed" and he dies. She starts seeing his ghost or something, or a guy who looks like him, and he keeps doing good deed. "2 to Tangle: The Providence of Faith" is the title. Now an ad for Christian Movies Direct. DVD menu music sounds like someone in the 1990s asked "what is it that these kids like these days", note that the film is made in 2014. The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah had far superior menu music. It was also filmed, I believe, in Tennessee, so I expect a lot of twang.

Sword of the Spirit Publishing Logo and RP logo. Rather low monotone-ish Christian music playing over all these doodles about Evolution and Creationism, while singing about fulfilling your destiny. We're opening on what looks be a Planet Fitness with the signage removed (purple walls, rows of machines, a yellow area in the background of the shot) with our auth--I mean protagonist talking about what he's doing in retirement while he lifts what appears to be 20 pound weights. The subtitles are also on automatically for some reason...I understand that in Passion of the Christ when we're speaking Aramaic, but not now. Also the subtitles look...weird...like they have an extra thick black outline around the letters. He's working out in a Jesus Lives shirt, he's going to go back to college, "not for another degree, just some courses" but I've seen in the previews how he's going to live in the dorms though? You don't just live in the dorms when you take some courses.

Friend at workout place is saying he should find a southern belle. Protagonist guy says they'd be his grandkids' age and his courting days are behind him. Foreshadowing intensifies?!

None of the ellipses in this are mine, it's in the subtitles. I've continually paused this to get it word for word.
"Why would you shell out the big bucks for tuition?"
"Because I'm going to war."
"Ha, just when I think I'm tracking you, you throw me a curveball. War..."
"You know the majority of those kids don't realize...heh. The majority of their parents don't even realize...those kids are being brainwashed by liberal, secular, humanist professors who use their power over the mighty GPA, and their influence over developing young minds. "
"And you're going to stop that single handedly?"
"I know my limits, but I know that I can at least but I know I can touch a few lives if I stand up and speak the truth and love. And maybe, just maybe, someone's going to grasp the concept there really is a devil and he is working overtime to deceive us into all manners of destructive beliefs and behaviors."
End of first scene.

Second scene is mother/daughter argument. Glad for subtitles now, but sometimes they random add a few lines of blank space in between, so the words are a quarter of the way up the screen and at the bottom simultaneously. 21 year old daughter is angry she has to live in the dorms after wrecking her last car in a DUI. Mom threatens to put her daughter in a homeless shelter if she doesn't go back to school.

Third scene...Gramps is at a dorm.
"I'm looking for Hickerson Hall, but this looks to be a girls dormitory."
"Oh this is Hickerson Hall, it's a coed dormitory."
"Coed?" He sounds scandalized.
"Yes, that means for both male and female." Condescending actress in this scene will probably be the best performer in this entire film.
"Yeah, I'm aware of what the word coed means. I'm just a little bit surprised and confused because I expressly asked for a men's dormitory." From the sound of his voice, I think this man has asked to see many managers in his lifetime offscreen.
"Well our male dorms book up rather quickly. Is this for your grandson?"
"Excuse me?" Offended sounding.
"The room. It is for your grandson?"
"It's for me. What's the matter? Don't you ever have some sexagenarians that stay in this dorm?"
"Sexagenarian. It means someone who's sixty something years old." (Btw, the subtitles spell sexagenarian wrong. Fixed it here.)
"Ohhh, no normally only have students under the age of 20 in the dorms. What's your name?"
"Ty Bounds at your service. That's B-o-u-n-d-s."
"There you are Mr. Bounds. Alright, let me get your packet for you. And you are in room 327."
"Well thank you much. When I open up this door 3-2-7...I'm not going to find a female roommate behind it. I hope." Apparently Gramps is worried about the Billy Graham Rule; Gramps for Vice President?
Weak laugh, "no sir. The dorm is coed. The rooms are not."
"Your roommate is a 20 year old student named Brad Hanson."
"Thank you very much."
"You're welcome."

I seriously need to stop pausing to write this ridiculous dialogue out. We are still only 6:45 out of a one hour and forty-two minute film. We meet a blond girl having an awkward conversation with her dad who screams "helicopter parent". And at one point goes "I love how you grasp reality without flinching" when we exposition the fact the mom didn't come with them because she's working to put her daughter through school. "I'm Miss Sarah, the Dorm Mom"...wut? We're now 8 minutes in and I've begun to suspect that The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah, based on the writing of this film, was Parker trying to actually be fair to the Jewish faith instead of as anti-Semitic as it came across. And this girl being dropped off by her dad is told that he shouldn't go into her room itself, though can go up with her. What? We've not even gotten inside this dorm yet and this is clearly written from the view of someone who doesn't understand what coed dorms are like, or college is like.

Dad of blonde girl is talking to Gramps in common area talk about praying for the girl that she not fall into temptation and such. She's roommates with DUI girl. DUI girl's only luggage is a Walmart bag...DUI girl is now telling Mackayla (blonde) to try and play some boys for fun. Not wait for marriage like she intends. "Is this one of those parties with alcohol and drugs?" "It isn't a party without alcohol." "Then you won't need to find a ride for me in that case." "So you don't drink, and let me guess, you're still a virgin too?" Do women really do virgin shaming? I know my college roommates shamed me for being a virgin, but I thought that was just a jerk dude thing. "Right on both counts." "Must be a religious thing." "Im a Christian." And no, the lack of apostrophe isn't me screwing up, it's the subtitles again screwing up. "That figures."

This is a one joke movie. "Are you the janitor?" "You should be hanging around the senior citizen center drinking ensure." Etc. when Ty meets his roommate. Looks like his roommate Brad is a Good Christian, but we hook him up with Mackayla. Brad, despite initial jerk intro, is glad to have a Bible reader instead of a party animal, and someone who won't give him flack for reading his Bible.

DUI girl complains to her friends. "I have Joan the Baptist as a roommate." "Didn't you tell us you were a religious geek when you started college?" "She was, I remember that. It took us a while to get her to a party." "Yea, but once you got her there, she became the life of the party, right?" "Pretty much." "Well...I was. But those days. They're a distant memory. Professor Tucker's biology class let the air out of my faith balloon real good. I mean, how can Jesus Christ be the Son of God, if science proves there is no God." "Exactly." "Look at it this way, you have the chance to change a saint into a sinner." "Good point, I'm going to have to find satisfaction in something this year."

See parents, don't send your kids to secular universities or they become DUI girl who is sleeping with a million guys. Because secular women will turn them into liberal feminists, and then they'll take biology and hear about evolution and stop believing in God.

"I was wondering, what are the chances of a creationist getting into a graduate program in science here?" First Gramps, let me stop you right there. Your degree, we've established, is in computer programming. You're not getting into something like biology grad program with an unrelated degree. In fact, willing to bet this never comes up in the ensuing conversation. Unpausing now.
"Are you asking this question out of curiosity, or would this be a personal matter?"
"Well I believe God created the universe and everything in it, but I would like to get my Masters in Biology."
"I see. Then your chances of being accepted as a graduate student is approximately equivalent to" subtitle cuts a bit here before continuing, but let me just say this entire beginning half of this is one giant religious discrimination suit waiting to happen and instead we should just go with, you know, not having a degree that would act as a proper prerequisite! Okay subtitle, let's jump back in, "the prospects of a snowball surviving in hell."
"And that assessment has nothing to do with my age?" Oh look who is trying to abuse federal age discrimination laws when it has nothing to do with that. Listen, I had a 60-some year old in my doctoral program, she didn't fail due to her age. She failed because she couldn't do the work. Meanwhile, a friend had a 60-some year old in his doc program, and she has the title 'doctor' now. Also this is your movie, why are you making your character out to be the asshole every time he interacts with someone from the university?
"Your age is of no concern to us. Your superstitions, and refusal to accept sound science is." No administrator would be caught dead saying this.
"Are you currently a student here?"
"Yes sir, starting today."
"Excellent, then I suggest you take Biology 100 from Professor Tucker. She's coax this creationism from you."
"Hm, really? Well I just happen to be signed up for that class. You know, John Scopes of the infamous monkey trial in Dayton made an interesting observation. His quote was, 'There is more intolerance in higher education than in all the mountains in Tennessee.' I believe Mr. Scopes had it right. Ironically, the word biology means the study of life. Evolutionist leave out the most important thing about life. Fact...they teach us more about death than they do life. "

Okay this is probably unrelated to the movie, but I literally just vomited. Probably it's something I ate, because the Criminal Justice Association earlier, was doing a thing with deli meats. But literally. Vomited. While. Watching. This. Movie. We are 15 minutes in. Need to stop pausing to record dialogue and train of thought everything.

I've never seen a lecture room like this one before. Soft chairs, no desks, no tables, etc. Biology prof demands to check his student card, thinking he's too old to be in college...listen, non-traditional students are a real thing. I did not demand to check the student ID of the 72 year old woman in my 101 class last semester. You know how NASA supposedly has people watch Armageddon to see how many inaccuracies they can spot? Pretty sure this is the equivalent with academia. "Well welcome Mr. Bounds, it's not often I get to instruct someone from my generation." "Well I'm convinced I'm going to find this class absolutely fascinating." "I do hope you allow student interaction." Interaction is spelled wrong in the subtitles. "From you, I'd be very receptive." This flirting is NOT okay. Mackayla event comments, "I think she likes you." "Not for long! That poor woman doesn't know what's about to hit her."

"I'm Dr. Tucker and I've taught this class for 25 years. I start every semester with the same question and will ask it on the last day of the class as well. I would like all of you who believe that God created the universe and life as it is to stand up." Umm...how is this biology? I mean the last few words maybe, but the creation of the universe isn't...biological. Also how life began, not how it evolved, is more abiogenesis than evolution...not that I've yet to encounter an anti-evolution film that has ever heard the word "abiogenesis" before. "We always have a number of students who cling to the superstition. But by the time you finish my course, almost no one stands to confess this foolishness." "Mr Bounds, would you care to make a statement about your answer to my question?"
"Well the fool has said in his heart that there is no God."
"Are you calling me a fool Mr. Bounds?"
"Ah, it seems to me you just called me one a second ago. But no, I'm merely just quoting the Bible and you know, I'll let everyone extrapolate from that to the logical conclusion that follows."
"Shaping young minds is what I do. It's easier than working with minds that have been filled with a lifetime of superstition, folklore, but I fully embrace the challenge of bringing light into your darkness."
"Oh, ditto."

19 minute mark. I am now considering a donation to American Atheists if there are people like this main character who are really treating my fellow professors like this. They really don't get enough donations, you know? Like you know the meme where Fry is saying "shut up and take my money?" If this film would just shut up, I would give Silverman my money...well more of it than he got from my purchase of Fighting God, but knowing royalty rates, he didn't get very much of that.

For a Christian film, they sure do like having DUI woman's breasts prominently displayed in shots. "I heard in Tucker's class today, she was challenged by a guy old enough to know Charles Darwin." I laughed, then stopped at goody goody Mackayla, "That's Ty Bounds, he's not even close to being that old." Have we learned DUI woman's name even? I hate referring to her as such. "She was acting like she had a crush on him, before he stood up and declared he believed in God." DUI woman is named Stephanie!

Steph is trying to seduce Brad, because he has a pickup truck. The cafeteria is handwritten signs and windows with blinds. Also some more professional poster in the background says, "Only science can unlock" and then the text is too small. Ty now wants to recruit "only people who love the Lord" for his intramurals team, and call it "Sons of the King" except now the subtitles believe in apostrophes because it's "Son's". Stephanie seems unsettled at this. Name drop for Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

Mackayla sees if Gramps was trying to set her up with Brad. He says there's nothing wrong with a little matchmaking is there? It's as a creepy as it sounds. She says she would've left Stephanie at home (brad just left with her). Gramps says of Stephanie, "The word of the Lord that I could receive was a double mined woman is unstable in all of her ways." And that "I sense she knew him (God) at one time and she's wrestling with him and now she's running away from him."

Okay prediction time. Stephanie comes back to Jesus by the end of the film, as does Dr. Tucker, who renounces evolution and gets together with Gramps. Mackayla and Brad get together. We are now 25 minutes in. "Can we have your autograph Gramps?" "You're a hero!" "I'm not a hero." Gramps does not especially like being called Gramps. "I just wish that the Gospel could travel as fast as the Gossip." "Amen."

"Hey we're in computer club and heard you're a programmer who is also a creationist, how does that work?" And now he's taking a swipe at Wired magazine and talking about the brain and "where does the information come from that controls the function of the brain?" "It evolved", "I must point out for something to evolve it would have to exist previously." and "how could the hardware and software appear out of a set of non-directed mutations. You know even if that could happen, what good would the brain be if its not connected to the central nervous system?" And "how did this organism survive without a brain, and develop later?" Now he wants to know "What came first, the blood or the brain or the lungs or the hear that's needed to pump the blood or the liver needed to clean the blood/ Etc. The idea that they could come together slowly yet come together to work together the way they do, should be considered ridiculous, not science!" Pretty sure my colleague who sometimes talks about how students pull this shit in her classes when discussing evolution would pound her skull through my wall if she were here to watch with me...and now Gramps is going into abiogenesis, still calling it evolution, and how it is impossible.

Formerly hardcore computer guy, "I never heard this stuff explained like this before. This makes sense!" "Which means that could make Darwin's Origin of Species nonsense. Rather than read Wired magazine, why don't you guys pick up a book entitled "I don't have enough faith to be an atheist". Oh look, we're back to TUBM book shilling games. And guys go run to the bookstore.

Mackayla now parrots, "I used to think universities were trying to teach us how to think, but now I realize that they are trying to teach us what to think."

This biology lesson is misunderstanding biology, as do the arguments against it. "These textbook authors are trying to sell us a crock full of something and it isn't butter. It's kind of funny, people won't accept God exists because they can't see him, but they'll embrace and evangelize natural selection, which has no physical properties we could even see."

Oh most realistic moment of this film. "oh no, don't tell me this has gone beyond my classroom." And now they ruin it, "he's a worthy adversary." And admitting she finds Gramps attractive to her fellow professor, who recommends trying to seduce her student.

"Not all scientists accept that we descended from some ape-like organism" and "you and your peers try to keep them in the minority by suppressing freedom of thought!" I...what? I...what? I...okay, five minute break. Cranky sandworm is back.

And now Gramps and prof are having coffee and both are agreeing education is only about regurgitating facts for the test. "All they remember at the end is that they're a bunch of cells and chemicals and when it all ends they're nothing but dust in the wind." 38 minute mark by the way, out of 102...and I've been watching this for two hours.

"Many creationists are members of MENSA, but you consider them morons because they refuse to accept the Gospel of Charles Darwin." You know what sounds nice and intellectually honest right now in comparison to this film? Reading that next part of Case for Christ. "You're accusing scientists of being involved in religion?" "More like anti-religion, but you know, there is an element of faith involved, and they use similar proselytizing techniques as they spread their gospel of death." "I also qualify as a member of MENSA, but I don't put stock in that. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. In the end, Godly wisdom is much more important than human knowledge and intelligence. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, 'knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers'. And if I might add, it lingers eternally." "Some clear night I want you to gaze up to the stars and just consider how immense the universe is and how small our earth is within it. And then consider how small you are in relationship to the Earth and as you ponder your insignificance in the vast scheme of things just imagine being the daughter of the author of all of that majesty." And now going into Final Judgment, hey thanks asshole character in the movie, for triggering my fear of eternity to the point I had to pause and calm down.

Steph is now trying to get Brad drunk. He doesn't like the taste of beer and his family are teetotalers and she offers him bourbon and lemonade. He comes home drunk to what appears to be a scene filmed entirely in blacklight until Gramps turns on their lamp. Gramps tries to give him the birds and the bees talk. "With the sexual revolution in full bloom, Stephanie probably believes that premarital sex is just fine." This scene is rapidly becoming more uncomfortable by the second as an old man discusses sex with a 20 year old. "We'll continue this talk later okay, including why there's a smell of alcohol filling the room right now."

Oh wow, at the coffee shop there's nothing in the fridge where pop/soda or tea would be kept, probably because they couldn't afford to pay the brand names. Mackayla is talking about how it made her sick to hear how Stephanie got Brad to let his hair down. Now she's awkwardly Bible flirting with Brad. And that Satan is using Stephanie to get to Brad. First intramural game is chess tournament against a guy where a shirt that says "The Demons 66" on it, guess we can't do the third 6 in a low budget Christian movie. The Dove Foundation might flip out.

"Much of what passes for science today is misinformation, propaganda, and outright lies." Gramps is now talking about fluoridation in the drinking water. And calls Scientific Research biased, he fingerquotes "Scientific Research". Oh and when told fluoride isn't hurting people, Gramps responds, "We have a cancer epidemic, a myriad of illnesses going on doctor's can't explain like fibromyalgia. There is a source to that stuff, could it possibly be that sodium fluoride is a culprit?" "When the government supplies the drinking water, I don't have a choice and they're basically forcing me to ingest poison." (Subtitles use "their" instead of "they're" in there.) "Did you know our sodium fluoride is now being provided by China, that bastion of security and health practices?"
"You sure schooled him?"
"In chess or science and reality?"
"You know if I wasn't sure God is in control, I'd have a hard time sleeping at night wondering what mega company is going to poison me with their products become somewhere along the line they bribe somebody whose job it was to protect me and the rest of humanity." (Subtitle is "who's".)

Uh yeah...guy who is my size should not be leading the two mile race. Dinner with the professor now, and she's wearing a rather short skirt. Gramps is mansplaining gender roles sort of to the female professor. She tries to give him wine, he refuses because he's never done alcohol. He puts her jacket back on her saying she has to cover up her charms if she wants to talk instead of him just looking at her, because, "I may be a scout, but not a saint".

Drinking in Christian movies is hilarious. White solo cups. What's clearly water in a blue glass bottle, but is probably supposed to be vodka, which they're chugging entire solo cups of. People are shouting "Go! Go! Go!" instead of "Chug".

"Do you think Darwin's a con man?"
"I don't. I think he truly believed what he wrote. I think the Devil's the real con man here. You know, doesn't it ever bother you that some of your best students reject evolution and are precluded from the graduate programs in science?" Also conspiracy theorizing that there are people who want to strip PhDs from people who believe in Creationism. Now drunk prof is trying to seduce him into screwing her brains out. "You're not acting like a professor." "Mmm...I'm off duty." "Well as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I'm never off duty." Like she is talking about how he can do whatever he wants with her. Also scientists make up their own answers and "shove it down our throats". "There are reports coming in, especially among the Jews and the Muslims, of Jesus appearing to them."

"If you're not going to take advantage of me, then I'm going to take advantage of you." and then she tries to rape him. No, she actually tries to climb on top of him as she says that. And he scuttles away "it's time for me to get out of here, thanks for the dinner." "What? God...that self righteous, inflated, pompous, SOB. Who do you think you are? Nobody walks out on me!"

Mackayla is welcoming Ty back going "I have a feeling something's really wrong with Brad" whose name isn't capitalized this time in the subtitles, "he went to a party with Stephanie, can you drive me out there?" "Let's go!" Oh look, prof drunk drove to the campus, and is now going to drunk drive after him. Oh look it's Mackayla's dad, he's going to drive her after randomly appearing for no reason whatsoever.

Oh, Stephanie has no vital signs, pre-med guy says so after kneeling next to her and then saying she's dead. "What was she drinking?" "Everclear. 190 proof." "She had 20 shots in 3 minutes!" "oh man, we got to get out of here. We're going to get in trouble!"

Gramps shows up with McKayla and asks what's going on, "Stephanie's dead." Drunk prof shows up, screaming 'self righteous hypocrite'. Subtitles say "hippocrite". Brad screams at her, "Why don't you teach kids something useful in biology, like how alcohol fries their brain cells and even kills people." Subtitles say "fry's". We've gone full 1980s after school special. Never go full 1980s after school special. "All you do is waste your time teaching historical fairy tales like evolution!"

McKayla cries, "i need to pray over her". I think we all know what's about to happen...let's raise Stephanie from the dead with the power of faith. "It's too late, she's gone." "No, it's not too late." She begs God to give Stephanie another chance and, "I command this body to be restored to life in the name of Jesus Christ. Awake Stephanie and arise." And she does!
Brad cries out, "She's moving! She's alive!"
Stephanie begins to mumble, "it was terrible. It was absolutely terrifying. The fire. I saw fire." That's right, McKayla prayed her out of Hell. Prof asks McKayla's dad to take her home, please, because she just saw the dead raised to life. She somehow knows McKayla's dad's name...oh wait, it's the other prof from before that told her to seduce Gramps. Man those two actors look the same. Anyhow, she asks him to take her home, and then looks up at the stars and hears what Gramps told her about being insignificant and about God. You know, the speech he gave right before she tried to rape him. "Are you serious, you just saw a girl raised from the dead. If that doesn't mess with your paradigm of life, I'd say your dead already." Now drunk prof is all "can information be considered matter or energy" and how it doesn't fit into either, and how Gramps was right that information is "the third element of the universe".

(Also, in every scene after this, Steph is wearing what has to be a rather sizable pushup bra compared to what she's been wearing prior to this. Like her chest is noticeably larger; apparently returning from the dead also grants increased cup sizes. Which makes her parting hug with gramps super awkward as far as 'chaste' Christian film hugs go.)

Steph and her mom go in the chapel in the hospital. Time for a conversion money shot. She thanks her mom for dropping everything and coming to see her. They both talk about letting God slide down on the priority list, but how having her resurrected has restored that priority. "Where did I go wrong? Three and a half years ago I entered college believing God existed and he loved me. I let him go so easily and quickly. Mom, do you believe in the Devil? Did he whisper in my ear like he did Eve, and I ate a bite of his apple?" "That makes a lot of sense when you look at the world around us today. All your college professors, all your entertainment professionals are listening to him and helping to deceive other kids like you." "I'm not listening to his voice anymore."

New prof shows up, Dr. Tucker no longer is employed in the university and they have a temporary replacement until a new professor can be found. Because she was fired for finding God. Not trying to rape a student. Not drunk driving. Not religious discrimination. But for finding God.

Now the other intramurals team plots (with the only black man we've seen all film) to kick him out of school for buying alcohol for minors. Now the administration is kicking him out for it, "Expelled? You know, that's a great title for a movie." Hmm...like Ben Stein's Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, which also hates on evolution? He's told he can finish and accept the credits in the remaining one week in the semester (subtitles say "except your credits").

Also Gramps doesn't want to go back to South Dakota while Old man Winter is there. TUBM was set in South Dakota.

Tennis training montage with Gramps training Brad how to triumph in tennis. Also in montage, looks like prof has found Jesus and is being prayed over in church. Cheesy Christian song about stepping out of the fire. Gramps doing puppet show for kids as part of montage and reading with seniors.

"You go to Hell"
"You go to Heaven! I'll be praying for you Jase!"

Gramps is going to go back to South Dakota now after a church fellowship breakfast. They give him a note from the professor about how he led her to faith and how much she loves Jesus now.

People line up in hallway at church to wish him goodbye, with signs and cheers. Cut to class again with the new professor and McKayla asks, "You guys freak out any time the name of God is mentioned, what are you so afraid of?" "Now we're not afraid of anything. God is supernatural, science deals with the natural world." "You say the supernatural must be ruled out to explain life, but I would like to bring up an incidence of where science uses the supernatural to explain our world." "in what way?" "The law of biogenesis. Life only comes from life. If that's true, at some point in time, it had to be broken for life to begin." "it's like gravity. We, in a fashion, break the law of gravity whenever we send a rocket up, which is traveling fast enough to escape the pull of the earth. Airplanes and balloons seem to defy gravity by other laws of thermodynamics. So the full law of gravity encompasses all these parameters." "Our textbooks say life only came once. Why doesn't it again? It's like saying I could shake up a bunch of Legos and have them become a sophisticated building. Or let me quote Frank Hoyle, the man who drummed up Big Bang Theory" (incorrect), "he said 'the chance of life generating itself from nonliving matter was like the chance of a tornado going through a junkyard and reassembling a Boeing jet'. "I see our time is up for today. Make sure you read chapter 10 in your textbook and have it ready for Wednesday." McKayla is getting together with a chess player that Ty/Gramps converted.

So on my predictions I was a bit right and wrong. Gramps did convert the prof. Stephanie did return to God. But Brad and Stephanie got together instead.

We're now quoting random scientists. Including out of context quoting like with Einstein, "Science without religion is lame, and religion without science is bland." The kids reading these quotes seem to be struggling with the words in them, like they weren't coached or practiced with them.

Hey we're back at Planet Fitness talking to his friend from the first scene! Ted, the friend, asks about the cross Gramps got from McKayla, "What's that?" "This reminds me of two very special people in my life, both of whom raised people from the dead." Get it? McKayla and Jesus!

Roll credits to "Chosen to be a soldier" lyrics! Holy crap, at the end of the credits, the Xbox One returned to the Home screen, it doesn't even take you back to the DVD menu.

Anyhow, for those who don't want to slog through all of that. Things this movie made me want to do while butchering anything related to academia or evolution:
  • Read Case for Christ because it's so intellectually honest in comparison.
  • Think David Avocado Wolfe could learn how to be crazier from the main character when he blames fluoride in the drinking water for cancer and fibromyalgia (which btw, the subtitles spell wrong as well).
  • Donate to American Atheists in some misguided hope that throwing enough money at David Silverman and the legacy of O'Hair will make Parker stop making movies.

TL;DR: God good, evolution bad. Fluoride in the drinking water probably causes cancer and fibromyalgia. And you can drink 20 shots of Everclear in 3 minutes from solo cups, die, then be resurrected through prayer. Professors can be fired for finding Jesus, but not for trying to drunkenly rape their students.


I mentioned The Dove Foundation in a mocking way, their view of the film is a tad different than my own:

Ty Bounds, a workaholic as a computer programmer for 35 years, has retired. No longer forced to work for a living, he seeks how he can spend his time service God. Following the lead of the Holy Spirit, he returns to college to wage war against secular humanism and to mentor a new generation in truth seeking.

Dove Review

“Gramps Goes to College” is a dynamic movie about God’s power. It is about a retired man who decides to go to college to study biology and right away he clashes with Professor Tucker, a woman who at the same time is attracted to him. He finds holes with her evolution theories and she becomes upset with his belief in creationism. Ty Bounds, also called “Gramps”, makes friends easily with the young college students, many of which are Christians and admire his firm stance.

The movie focuses on defending one’s faith in God, and also shows the struggles of a young woman named Stephanie, who is attracted to a young Christian man named Brad. Will Stephanie influence Brad, whom she takes to a party and gets him to drink, or will he influence her, as he doesn’t want to be sidetracked from his faith. You will have to watch the movie to find out. It is an inspiring film and “Gramps Goes to College” makes it clear, you can influence people no matter what age you are. It also shows that a miracle can come along sometimes just when we need one the most. This movie has earned our Dove Seal for ages twelve plus. You won’t regret watching it!

Now, to bed...took me over 5 hours to watch this move that isn't 2 hours long with note taking.

Need to think of a witty signature.
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28-04-2017, 02:26 AM (This post was last modified: 28-04-2017 02:32 AM by The Organic Chemist.)
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
On the flight over:
Hacksaw Ridge 8/10
I am familiar with the Desmond Doss story so the Okinawa thing was really accurate to my knowledge. The basic training part, not as much. While it is true that Doss was the first conscientious objector (CJ) to win the medal of honor, he was far from the first CJ who wanted to serve. I felt they stroke the persecution thing a little much. Although since Doss was an Adventist (which was said like once and sort of under the table), I could maybe see him getting some shit from the other christians but in this movie, there were no other christians. I mean, they had a guy giving Doss shit for simply having a bible at the beginning of basic. In the army. In 1944. I call bullshit on that one. I guess they had to do that since any open atheist would have been called unpatriotic and a communist. At one point, they had this court martial scene since (according to the movie) Doss was being court martialed for refusing to pick up a weapon during basic. We get the bursting into the courtroom trope where a general wrote a note saying that the SUPREME COURT had already ruled (sometime prior to 1945) that if someone refuses to touch a weapon for religious reasons, that was protected under the 1st amendment and therefore not a violation of direct orders. So there is NO fucking way that the JAG office doesn't know this going into this trial of there already being a SCOTUS ruling on this exact thing. That took a bunch away for me. So much as I have read on Doss' character, the portrayal was accurate but the licenses Mel Gibson took were a bit annoying. I do have to say Vince Vaughn as the sergeant was pretty well done and I don't care for most of Vaughn's work.

The Arrival 9/10
Wow. This is a bit like a scifi version of Memento. I can't say too much without giving a spoiler but essentially, Amy Adams is a linguist tasked with deciphering the language of recently arrived aliens. The twist is good but it has a bunch of implications in the universe of the movie. Implications, they seem to sort of ignore.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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28-04-2017, 04:31 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
I saw the newest Star Trek Movie, Star Trek Beyond , and it was: OK.

Nothing wrong with it, but not amazing either, especially when compared to the first of the current trilogy. Fun little romp to kind of watch and turn your brain off too, but it suffers from having an awesome first movie and a "good" second one. Odd moments of CGI were a bit 'off' but on the whole it looked pretty good.

If you like Star Trek, I'd recommend it for sure, but if it's not really your thing, I'm sure you could skip it.

I'm training for a 10K run, read about it in my blog :
Lost In Pace - A Running Blog
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28-04-2017, 04:48 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
Pink Flamingoes. 11/10

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28-04-2017, 06:18 AM (This post was last modified: 28-04-2017 10:26 AM by Thoreauvian.)
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
Arrival -- 6/10.

Intelligent premise but gray and ponderous execution. Aliens arrive in 12 spaceships scattered across the Earth. Americans have to communicate with one in Montana, so a language expert is brought in. The language she learns changes the way she perceives the world.
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28-04-2017, 09:02 AM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
The Accountant 7/10 - Not a massive fan of Ben Affleck, and it didn't get very good write ups, but I enjoyed it.

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29-04-2017, 09:56 PM
RE: Rate the Last Film You've Seen
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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

8/10 - A well constructed thriller with plenty of plot twists.
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