Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
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05-09-2016, 01:55 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
(05-09-2016 01:37 PM)Old Man Marsh Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 01:35 PM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  USN.

Well, that's one way to earn a purple heart.

No, it's way to earn an NJP.
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05-09-2016, 03:03 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
(05-09-2016 01:55 PM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  
(05-09-2016 01:37 PM)Old Man Marsh Wrote:  Well, that's one way to earn a purple heart.

No, it's way to earn an NJP.

Laugh out load Damaging government property.
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05-09-2016, 03:06 PM (This post was last modified: 05-09-2016 03:20 PM by Gloucester.)
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
In the RAF, in Cyprus, 1963, second load of local idiots shooting at one another. They were shooting at us the first time round.

On armoury guard, idiot throws an old Sterling sub-machine gun, with a magazine in, safety off, towards me. I miss the catch, the Sterling lands on its butt. The impact causes the block to bounce back, not quite enough to catch on the shear. Block flies forward again, rams a round up the spout and shoots a hole in the ceiling. Luckily only the one hole.

It is true, it all happens in crystal clear slow motion - just like in the movies.

Those 10 year old guns, over-used for training, we had four for about 200 airmen, were more dangerous to the shooter than the target! Point and shoot, everything within a ten foot wide "eye" shape at 30 feet. All the accuracy of a shower head!

Especially in the hands of a total fucking idiot who was, justifiably, on every shitty duty, mid-day fence guard (with a pick-axe handle) and confined to camp for a month. He missed a court marshal because we had a semi-sadistic discip Station Warrant Officer who had a list of lousy jobs longer than his arm just for such purposes!

Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
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05-09-2016, 03:20 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
It was about 1988:
We were leaving Guatemala in our Pony (Hyundai) pick up with 8 kilos of weed in a second gas tank that some of them had. My partner, not the swiftest, whom I always said was about 3 French fries short of a Happy Meal asked me out loud in English if I thought they'd check the second gas tank. Someone understood him and they did. We lost the truck and the load and the connection to buy and sell and he spent 90 days in a jail that doesn't even feed their inmates. That is up to the friends and relatives of the incarcerated. In this case me. He said when we were alone "Who would ever think one of them would understand English!"
I've got a dozen stories about someone understanding a language when people didn't expect it.
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05-09-2016, 04:51 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
Me and my co-worker:
Her: Well I eat soy and soy products for my proteins because I don't eat meat.
Me: Ah yes, I used to make those nugget things because I am so bad at preparing tofu.
Her: Tofu is not soy though.
Me: Well Tofu is made from soy.
Her: No no, because coworker x, he never eats tofu but he eats soy.
Me: What do you think Tofu is made of?
Her: Well Tofu is just Tofu
----
I swear I wanted to ask her if cheese is just cheese too o.O
Also I am unsure how the fact that coworker x eats soy products in general but just not Tofu is a confirmation that Tofu is not made from soy.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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05-09-2016, 04:52 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
(05-09-2016 04:51 PM)Leela Wrote:  Me and my co-worker:
Her: Well I eat soy and soy products for my proteins because I don't eat meat.
Me: Ah yes, I used to make those nugget things because I am so bad at preparing tofu.
Her: Tofu is not soy though.
Me: Well Tofu is made from soy.
Her: No no, because coworker x, he never eats tofu but he eats soy.
Me: What do you think Tofu is made of?
Her: Well Tofu is just Tofu
----
I swear I wanted to ask her if cheese is just cheese too o.O
Also I am unsure how the fact that coworker x eats soy products in general but just not Tofu is a confirmation that Tofu is not made from soy.

Ask her if she can find you a tofu tree on Amazon.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

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05-09-2016, 04:53 PM (This post was last modified: 05-09-2016 05:00 PM by Loom.)
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
Last year before Christmas, I was manning the register where we sold Christmas trees when a customer came through with one of our largest trees--about 14 tall and a couple hundred pounds.

It was fine and all til I saw the car they were loading it on--a tiny little Honda Civic. The tree stuck out 6 ft in the back, blocked all the windows, and the base of the trunk came a couple feet over their windshield. The roof looked like it was about to collapse. Oh, and the tree wobbled loosely because they didn't secure it well.

We advised them to get a smaller tree, but they declined, said they got this.

They got about 20 ft in our parking lot before they hit a bump, causing the tree to bounce erratically, right into the windshield.

Yes they tried to hold us responsible.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

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05-09-2016, 05:08 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
Oh oh and I just remember a second thing.
There was this video on youtube where a guy was explaining some stuff. But as a watermark or whatever he had a picture of his face in the corner of the video. And that face was pretty much directly staring at the viewer.
I really don't like eye contact THAT much so for the duration of the video I had put my hand over that corner.
After the video, I made a comment for the creator of the video, just letting him know that being stared at for 5 minutes straight is really irritating. I was not toxic or anything, I just stated a fact exactly like I state facts here in the forum eh.
A month later, I see a pop up on my google notifying me that someone answered on that post.
--- btw on that google account i have the same account picture that I have here ---
So this guy had tried to analyse me by using that avatar picture Big Grin He explained that I must be a person that is easily annoyed and angry because my subconscious mind always see my avatar picture in the corner of my account and tells me how negative things and so I will be negative too.
Dafuq Big Grin
Prime example of people missing context and assuming shit.
In reality I have my giggle every time I see my avatar picture there because of what I did with it here on the forum.
Which is this:
[Image: i6cuo2.png]

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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05-09-2016, 05:09 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
Firefighter in the Air Force -- we used to play jokes on n00bs all the time. "Go to Base Ops and fetch me a spool of flight-line", that sort of thing. Of course, Base Ops knew the drill, and would send the hapless cherub to the ammo squadron, who'd send him to the supply squadron, who'd send him to ...

One of my sergeants told me once of having a rookie, who was doing an equipment check on a rescue truck, trying to "push-start" a rotary saw. Can't say I believed that one, though.
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05-09-2016, 06:02 PM
RE: Really Stupid Shit You've Seen in R/L
Lots of ignorant people. Some examples from the US Navy-

Send the guy from the Fire Room (where the boilers are) to get some Fallopian Tubing.

Send a guy up the forecastle for a "Bos'n's Punch". This nets him getting punched. Not cool. I know one guy who managed to partially block it, but ended up missing teeth.

Here's one from my wife. My sons all strongly resemble each other (Imagine that). One was 5, one was 3 and the last was 1, in the stroller. Gal asks her, "Are they triplets?". My wife says, "Yes, they're just different ages." Gal says, "Oh, OK." Huh

My second son works for a gal who has triplets. People see them and ask if they are triplets. Yes. Then they (more than one person has done this) ask, "How old is this one?"...and then, "How old is this one?...and yet again, "How old is this one?". Ya can't make this stuff up!
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