Reborn Atheist
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16-06-2014, 10:56 AM
Reborn Atheist
I haven't posted here much but I have been reading many of the posts on here and just thought I would share my experience. Maybe it will help someone else in the same way the posts on here have helped me.

I'm 38 years old and I was born and raised in Tennessee. I was raised by both my Mother and my Grandparents. My Mother is a devote Christian. My Grandparents were very huge into eastern religions pertaining mostly to Hinduism. My grandmother had me believing in karma, reincarnation, and enlightenment since I was a very small child. She was also huge into psychics, astral travel, and the paranormal. I was very close to my grandmother so if she said it was true then I believed it without question.

My mother as well as everyone else in my life was Christian. I went to a Church Of God school all week then spent all day Sunday at a Methodist church. In addition, my father (who my mom divorced when I was 1 year old) was a Mormon as is the majority of his side of the family. My father was also a raging alcoholic who could not keep a wife on account that he couldn't keep himself away from other women. He has been married 9 times.

For years everyone I know has been fighting a war for my soul. Dad wants me to be Mormon, Grandmother wants me to become enlightened, and everyone else wants my to get "saved". Everyone tells me that they are right and that they "know" the truth and feel as though I should follow or else face the flames of damnation. Words can not express the amount of oppression that puts a child under.

After I moved out I decided to study religion for myself. I first started studying Laveyian Satanism, then went into Wicca, and Buddhism. Nothing really stuck for very long. I finally decided to go to college and majored in Psychology. I soon became obsessed with the human mind. I would read my text books in their entirety before even taking the first class. I bought books by Freud and Jung. It was here where I started to open my eyes for the first time.

The move to Atheism was a slow burn. The more I studied psychology as well as other sciences, the more I began to break away from religion. The day I finally decided to call myself an Atheist was a very painful moment. I never wanted to be an Atheist, but I don't want to live in a world of lies either. I would love to believe that there is a God who loves me and takes care of me; however, I find it harder and harder to believe that. In truth, I would rather believe in nothing then to live a lie.

Being an Atheist isn't about being happy. It's not a religion which dictates to you about how to make your life (or after-life) happy and fulfilling. Atheism isn't even a religion at all but rather the absence of religion. For me it's a place where I realize that my life is based on my own perception and not someone else's fantasy. If my life sucks, then I am the one with the power to change it. There is no devil influencing my life.

Sorry for such a long post. There is a much longer story but I edited down as much as I could while still getting my point across.
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16-06-2014, 11:13 AM
RE: Reborn Atheist
(16-06-2014 10:56 AM)Doubting Thomas Wrote:  I haven't posted here much but I have been reading many of the posts on here and just thought I would share my experience. Maybe it will help someone else in the same way the posts on here have helped me.

I'm 38 years old and I was born and raised in Tennessee. I was raised by both my Mother and my Grandparents. My Mother is a devote Christian. My Grandparents were very huge into eastern religions pertaining mostly to Hinduism. My grandmother had me believing in karma, reincarnation, and enlightenment since I was a very small child. She was also huge into psychics, astral travel, and the paranormal. I was very close to my grandmother so if she said it was true then I believed it without question.

My mother as well as everyone else in my life was Christian. I went to a Church Of God school all week then spent all day Sunday at a Methodist church. In addition, my father (who my mom divorced when I was 1 year old) was a Mormon as is the majority of his side of the family. My father was also a raging alcoholic who could not keep a wife on account that he couldn't keep himself away from other women. He has been married 9 times.

For years everyone I know has been fighting a war for my soul. Dad wants me to be Mormon, Grandmother wants me to become enlightened, and everyone else wants my to get "saved". Everyone tells me that they are right and that they "know" the truth and feel as though I should follow or else face the flames of damnation. Words can not express the amount of oppression that puts a child under.

After I moved out I decided to study religion for myself. I first started studying Laveyian Satanism, then went into Wicca, and Buddhism. Nothing really stuck for very long. I finally decided to go to college and majored in Psychology. I soon became obsessed with the human mind. I would read my text books in their entirety before even taking the first class. I bought books by Freud and Jung. It was here where I started to open my eyes for the first time.

The move to Atheism was a slow burn. The more I studied psychology as well as other sciences, the more I began to break away from religion. The day I finally decided to call myself an Atheist was a very painful moment. I never wanted to be an Atheist, but I don't want to live in a world of lies either. I would love to believe that there is a God who loves me and takes care of me; however, I find it harder and harder to believe that. In truth, I would rather believe in nothing then to live a lie.

Being an Atheist isn't about being happy. It's not a religion which dictates to you about how to make your life (or after-life) happy and fulfilling. Atheism isn't even a religion at all but rather the absence of religion. For me it's a place where I realize that my life is based on my own perception and not someone else's fantasy. If my life sucks, then I am the one with the power to change it. There is no devil influencing my life.

Sorry for such a long post. There is a much longer story but I edited down as much as I could while still getting my point across.

Thanks for sharing your story and glad you found us.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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16-06-2014, 11:21 AM
RE: Reborn Atheist
(16-06-2014 10:56 AM)Doubting Thomas Wrote:  Being an Atheist isn't about being happy. It's not a religion which dictates to you about how to make your life (or after-life) happy and fulfilling. Atheism isn't even a religion at all but rather the absence of religion. For me it's a place where I realize that my life is based on my own perception and not someone else's fantasy. If my life sucks, then I am the one with the power to change it.

It is often difficult to get a view of the entire forest while standing beneath it's trees, DT. I, and I'm certain many others, can certainly see that you have come very, very far in your personal journey. You must be relieved, having found your self waiting for you all this time. Shy

I'm glad you've written this out. I am of the opinion that it really does help; not only you but others who may not have found a sense of their own self.

It's good to have you here... if I haven't already said it...

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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16-06-2014, 11:33 AM
Re: RE: Reborn Atheist
(16-06-2014 11:21 AM)kim Wrote:  It is often difficult to get a view of the entire forest while standing beneath it's trees, DT. I, and I'm certain many others, can certainly see that you have come very, very far in your personal journey. You must be relieved, having found your self waiting for you all this time. Shy

I'm glad you've written this out. I am of the opinion that it really does help; not only you but others who may not have found a sense of their own self.

It's good to have you here... if I haven't already said it...

Welcome to the forum. Smile
I'll second that emotion, I'm rather lazy but it's written in a far better way than I could hope to do.

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16-06-2014, 11:41 AM
RE: Reborn Atheist
(16-06-2014 11:21 AM)kim Wrote:  
(16-06-2014 10:56 AM)Doubting Thomas Wrote:  Being an Atheist isn't about being happy. It's not a religion which dictates to you about how to make your life (or after-life) happy and fulfilling. Atheism isn't even a religion at all but rather the absence of religion. For me it's a place where I realize that my life is based on my own perception and not someone else's fantasy. If my life sucks, then I am the one with the power to change it.

It is often difficult to get a view of the entire forest while standing beneath it's trees, DT. I, and I'm certain many others, can certainly see that you have come very, very far in your personal journey. You must be relieved, having found your self waiting for you all this time. Shy

I'm glad you've written this out. I am of the opinion that it really does help; not only you but others who may not have found a sense of their own self.

It's good to have you here... if I haven't already said it...

Welcome to the forum. Smile

Thank you so much. I must admit that even though it is relieving to finally let go of the lies I've been taught, it still burns a little. I guess that's normal. Shy
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16-06-2014, 12:26 PM
RE: Reborn Atheist
(16-06-2014 10:56 AM)Doubting Thomas Wrote:  I haven't posted here much but I have been reading many of the posts on here and just thought I would share my experience. Maybe it will help someone else in the same way the posts on here have helped me.

I'm 38 years old and I was born and raised in Tennessee. I was raised by both my Mother and my Grandparents. My Mother is a devote Christian. My Grandparents were very huge into eastern religions pertaining mostly to Hinduism. My grandmother had me believing in karma, reincarnation, and enlightenment since I was a very small child. She was also huge into psychics, astral travel, and the paranormal. I was very close to my grandmother so if she said it was true then I believed it without question.

My mother as well as everyone else in my life was Christian. I went to a Church Of God school all week then spent all day Sunday at a Methodist church. In addition, my father (who my mom divorced when I was 1 year old) was a Mormon as is the majority of his side of the family. My father was also a raging alcoholic who could not keep a wife on account that he couldn't keep himself away from other women. He has been married 9 times.

For years everyone I know has been fighting a war for my soul. Dad wants me to be Mormon, Grandmother wants me to become enlightened, and everyone else wants my to get "saved". Everyone tells me that they are right and that they "know" the truth and feel as though I should follow or else face the flames of damnation. Words can not express the amount of oppression that puts a child under.

After I moved out I decided to study religion for myself. I first started studying Laveyian Satanism, then went into Wicca, and Buddhism. Nothing really stuck for very long. I finally decided to go to college and majored in Psychology. I soon became obsessed with the human mind. I would read my text books in their entirety before even taking the first class. I bought books by Freud and Jung. It was here where I started to open my eyes for the first time.

The move to Atheism was a slow burn. The more I studied psychology as well as other sciences, the more I began to break away from religion. The day I finally decided to call myself an Atheist was a very painful moment. I never wanted to be an Atheist, but I don't want to live in a world of lies either. I would love to believe that there is a God who loves me and takes care of me; however, I find it harder and harder to believe that. In truth, I would rather believe in nothing then to live a lie.

Being an Atheist isn't about being happy. It's not a religion which dictates to you about how to make your life (or after-life) happy and fulfilling. Atheism isn't even a religion at all but rather the absence of religion. For me it's a place where I realize that my life is based on my own perception and not someone else's fantasy. If my life sucks, then I am the one with the power to change it. There is no devil influencing my life.

Sorry for such a long post. There is a much longer story but I edited down as much as I could while still getting my point across.

Your story reminds me of mine a little. Our elders etch their beliefs in our minds at a very young age so even when we grow up and realize none of it is true, we still feel guilty in the back of our heads to say it out loud because it makes us feel like a bad person for denying the presence of god, as if god cares. Its just the brainwashing that our elders did when we were younger and nothing else, the more time we spend in science the more convinced we will be that religion is false and soon it will hurt less or not at all. BTW if someone did want to believe lies and fairytale stuff, why should they believe what someone else created when they are perfectly capable of creating their own individual heaven and hell according to their own tastes and their own liking. [/b]

All great truths begin as blasphemy - George Bernard Shaw
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16-06-2014, 10:45 PM
RE: Reborn Atheist
. BTW if someone did want to believe lies and fairytale stuff, why should they believe what someone else created when they are perfectly capable of creating their own individual heaven and hell according to their own tastes and their own liking. [/b]


That's a good question. I do believe that some people actually do to some extent. Religion usually teaches people one certain ideology and discourages any thoughts that may contradict it. For example, when Darwin came up with the theory of evolution the Christian community went nuts. The idea that something else may have taken place other then how the bible portrays it would be unthinkable.

The same goes for envisioning your own religion. To someone who has already been mind warped into one idea, the thought of another would be sacrilegious. Not to mention that to envision your own religion would take some real thought which is something most people just don't do.No
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