Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
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05-04-2016, 06:45 AM
Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
I am currently on one of my forum breaks that I do every once in a while. But since I wrote this crap watching a trainwreck FIVE HOUR SHOW (fucking jesus Vince, you stupid fuck), then I'm afraid I have to dump off my Wrasslin' stuff here (Deal with it Free Thought). Here's mine and partially Rev's thoughts around possibly the worst Wrestlemania ever. Enjoy, I guess.

--- LADDER MATCH ---

great match

Great spots

is kevin owens dead?

unlikely winner, Ryder

Owens mainevent? Zayn feud?

commentary is dead

--- STYLES JERICHO ---


Dumb Feud, good matches, overexposore

Everybody saw this a mile away Jericho heel turn

Chrismas Tree Jericho

Arena is seriously fucking massive, echo is crazy

Crowd is 50/50 for compeditors

Jericho is the taunt master

Ask him in redneck

Jericho no sold kick lol

Styles botched great spot, crowd is reluctantly bored

botched top spot

Wrestlers are blown up

match needs to end, crowd is discussing the weather

it's too goddamn much, end this already

Botched Codebreaker, Jericho wins, wait what?

JBL used the term "Fanboy". kill me

Goodbye AJ, see you in hotel midcard. you can check out but you can't leave


--- TAG TEAM (SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHAMPIONSHIP) MATCH ---


Holy shit giant ceral box with new day action figures in it

Cole. NEVER.EVER.MENTION.DRAGONBALL OR ANIME IN GENERAL AGAIN.

Rev has no hopeth

New Day is awesome regardless, points out why they're awesome. biggest new day chant in history

We'll miss you Barrett, I'm so sorry

Goddamn it Del Rio stop doing that move

Somebody bought a Dye Clothes pack DLC for Orc, i mean Sheamus

PISS OFF JBL

THEY SERIOUSLY COMPARED THEM TO THE FOUR HORSEMEN STOP STOP STOP

Shea-mus-sucks

Match is so overexposed i seriously don't see this as anything but Raw

Crowd does not give a fuck

Kofi stomped Sheamus' pingas, ow

Sheamus is strong though

nothing fucking matters

I can't give a shit about this sorry

Stop doing it Del Rio, looked good but it ain't worth it

New DAY LOSES

IDIOTS

GOD DAMN IDIOTS

JBL has schizophrenia, now he hates New Day

Shawn and Mick and Austin shows up and clears ring, doesn't justify the New Day loss

Rusev oversold, a little funny

Stone Cold ticked Xavier. gotta salvage those last Stunners while you can

--- DEAN'S EXECUTION MATCH ---


Most people would say that Lesnar wins this

Paul E is awesome

Terry Funk shows up?

Brock doesn't wear a hat. sad.

Hoppy dance

Brock-ceps

Paul is here to talk

FOR FUCKS SAKE JBL STOP

Suplex city is here, Dean is a GTA IV ragdoll. more hoppy dance

Paul E lets the hate flow through him

Brock's balls are now pretty red

Brings out Chainsaw, Paul's face lol

Brock did crazy top suplex spot, jesus christ

Dean gets some offense, for the first time in years, Brock was on the retreat

Dean did the top rope chair spot

Brock dun fucked up

Dirty deeds on chair, Brock kicks out of course, first f-5 missed

Brock killed Dean. Nobrainer. Terrible in the long run. Brock needs to lose eventually

Match was regardless decent

Offical Suplex Count: 13

---

Byron Saxton wears a fucking terrible Tux.

--- WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH ---



Becky could be more nerdy sexy.

Sahsa gets intro with Snoop Dogg

Charlotte wears the same gear that big daddy WOOO wears

Anybody is a good champion, best booked match on the card

So far good techincal showcase

Sahsa missed a sunset

Sahsa did a sick bump outside the ring

SASHA DID CRAZY OUT OF NOWHERE FROGSPLASH WHILE C AND B WAS IN FIGURE FOUR HOLY SHIT

Classic techincal display in this match, great work

Becky put her hands on Ric Flair ringside

TOP ROPE MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE FROM CHARLOTTE HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME

Taking a lot of time with moves involving all contenders

Series of trading submission moves

Charlotte wins, Ric screwed Sasha

This has got to be the best match of the night, kudos

Awesome fireworks, WWE trying to equal the women's division to the men's division. well done.

--- Shane-gets-hurt match ---

Shane has to win this match, otherwise it will be pointless. After all, Shane did a shoot on how much the company sucks.

However, Vince's words makes it look like Undertaker will win. Real bad if that happens.

Shane brings out his kids in the entrance, Weird choice IMO

Mark spends ten years going to the ring, as usual. Windows XP progress bar

Shane looks like jerk boxing with an old biker

"I'm mock sleeping you, Curtis!"

Crowd is dead silent

Shane does a lot of stiff hits, 'Taker isn't

They're trying their best, really. Not much else to say

Shane going for the Coast to Coast, actually hits him. Taker pretends to have a heart attack

JBL is surprised that Shane has a plan for some reason. Great commentary. Why can't the Spanish Announce team just do the english commentary? Or the Germans. Or the Russians...

This is awesome? Not quite.

Goodbye Shane, it was nice knowing you

FUCKING STUPID CUNT SHANE ACTUALLY JUMPED OFF THE 15 FOOT CELL.

Taker wins, fucking pointless match

Now I KNOW it was a bad idea to bring your kids along

Shane shortened his life by ten years for NOTHING. Nobody got over, this was fucking stupid.

--- Golden Shower Statue Battle Royal Match ---

Pointless fuckin' match. Mark Henry's last match. See you later dude.

Shaq was there. Big Show hated him. Looks like somebody was forced to watch Steel.

---

The Rock wastes everybody's time for 20 mins.

Bray Wyatt and The Rock wastes everyone's time for 10 minutes

They're gonna have a match now?! FUCK!

--- Match I don't wanna see match ---


Seriously, why couldn't you put this up for next wrestlemania?

Find your shovles, it's time to bury the Wyatt family again.

JOHN CENA SUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-JOHN CENA SUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-JOHN CENA SUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Shut up you knew the guy was gonna show up. Kudos to Rev.

--- THE THING THAT HAS TO HAPPEN (AKA TRAINWRECK WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH) ---



This is going to be the biggest BO in the history of BOOOOOSSSSS

This is the lowest point I've seen WWE's mainevent in. Ever.

The promo adds fake boos to Triple H Royal Rumble victory. History is not written by the victor, but Vince McMahon's penis.

Vince needs to retire. Period.

I am sure most of the smarks in this audience would rather watch paint dry than watch this, especially watch Roman win.

Ummm, guys. Hunter is doing it again. His entrance is too over the top.

Nice script Steph.

I'm not gonna lie though, Steph is like almost 50 but hot as motherfucking shit here.

Atleast Hunter isn't dressed in a plastic Terminator skull.

It's time. It's Time. It's Roman booing time.

Goddamn is Steph hot in leather here.

Ritcher scale boos incoming.

OH. MY. GOD.

The boos. The fucking boos.

Roman looks like his puppy was run over. And his parents was killed in a dark alley after watching Mask of Zorro.

Sorry, Vince. Fireworks ain't gonna get Roman over.

Imagine if Roman was heel. Just imagine.

Hopefully the end will be a double turn. Roman heel, Triple H face.

Now we'll see if this match works.

The crowd is tearing Roman apart inside. He looks like he's about to crack.

I can hear some squeakers. It's not gonna be enough.

Every time Roman gets some wind, the crowd destorys it.

The crowd makes it hard to pay attention to the actual match.

Triple H hit Roman in the knee, Roman sells it as a nutshot. Hunter cheats, crowd cheers. Bizzaro WWE.

JBL mentions words like "Hype" and "Energy". The WWE "Universe" mentions "Boredom" and "Hatred".

Byron Saxton says Regins is "fighting the system!". Wow. Just, wow.

Rev is falling asleep. Hang in there.

Nothing in this match matters. I can't enjoy it since I'm worried about the outcome. Also the match kinda sucks.

Can't understate the boos when Roman signals his signature moves.

How the fuck did we come to this. Like fucking seriously. This could have been awesome if Ambrose was in the mainevent.

Regins speared Triple H through the barricade. Nobody cares. Fuck it, Shane just dropped off the top of the Hell in a Cell. You're not gonna top that.

Triple H has confetti stuck on his head. This is how boring this match is. I talk about confetti.

I am seriously considering skipping to the end. This match doesn't bring anything to the table.

Crowd stops giving a shit and starts doing unrelated chants, shades of Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar WM 20.

Roman speared Steph in boobs. I am so jealous.

Annoncers are the only people happy that Roman kicked out of the Pedigree at two and a half.

Ref doesn't even try to take the *giant sledgehammer* from HHH.

Regins wins clean. Fucking...

Crowd has given up. People don't even bother booing anymore.

Regins went over clean, no heel turn. Worst possible scenario. You're insane Vince. You're seriously insane.

The crowd has been muted. WWE muted the crowd.

This is seriously one of the worst Wrestlemania's ever. Ever.


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05-04-2016, 06:53 AM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
Yeah, that is fake wrestling. Like I told you dude.

They have props! Where does one see props? At the theatre.

These guys all rehearse these moves. They are friends. I know. I used to live in a wrestling dojo. In the freakin' change rooms. (I also taught martial arts at this dojo)

This is what actual Greco Roman modern wrestling looks like. No bouncing off rings!




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05-04-2016, 06:59 AM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
WWE and Jerry Springer and Honey Boo Boo and Fuck Dumbnasty have all been part of mind rot media. Now, I wont say I don't have my own candy I like, but the flooded market is hardly balanced and this really does have a long term effect on dumbing down society.

We need more shows like COSMOS and less of this.

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05-04-2016, 07:07 AM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
More actual wrestling. (Notice the absence of rope and props)




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05-04-2016, 08:14 PM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
Wrestling; balet for meatheads.

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05-04-2016, 08:56 PM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
(05-04-2016 08:14 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Wrestling; balet for meatheads.

Hey, I studied Chinese wrestling and ju jiutsu. It is actually quite fascinating and very practical.

And I am a nerd who reads books and plays instruments.

The meatheads are in the audience of those stupid staged choreographed wrestling events. The wrestlers or rather, actors, in those shows are usually retired from real wrestling competition. Actual fighting is in their past.

I know this very well having my own full contact history.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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05-04-2016, 09:49 PM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
(05-04-2016 08:56 PM)Banjo Wrote:  
(05-04-2016 08:14 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Wrestling; balet for meatheads.

Hey, I studied Chinese wrestling and ju jiutsu. It is actually quite fascinating and very practical.

And I am a nerd who reads books and plays instruments.

The meatheads are in the audience of those stupid staged choreographed wrestling events. The wrestlers or rather, actors, in those shows are usually retired from real wrestling competition. Actual fighting is in their past.

I know this very well having my own full contact history.

Hey better get a spotter, don't want you to hurt yourself patting yourself on the back that hard.

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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05-04-2016, 09:56 PM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
(05-04-2016 08:14 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Wrestling; balet for meatheads.

I always thought it was more like softcore porn for the homosexul deviants in the closet.




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05-04-2016, 10:00 PM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
(05-04-2016 09:49 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  Hey better get a spotter, don't want you to hurt yourself patting yourself on the back that hard.

My life is all I have mate. You've seen photos of my nose, right? Big Grin Broken 9 times.

Yes, I am aware you like show wrestling too. So sorry if I hurt any feelings or anything.

That I did these things is history. At least I did them.

That guy in the air is a young me. Already a black belt in several styles aged around 19. I studied 32 styles in all. Qualified in 17 and am a certified master of two. It is just my own history.

And the reason I fought was to earn money to support my dying mother. On other nights I was either a bouncer at a rough pub or doing a gig.

Nowadays I cannot do this. Too sick, too many injuries. From martial arts as well as other things.

Have you wrestled? Done any martial arts? Have any knowledge about this subject at all? I am actually curious to know. Not being a smartarse.

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05-04-2016, 10:03 PM
RE: Recap of the worst Wrestlemania ever
(05-04-2016 08:56 PM)Banjo Wrote:  
(05-04-2016 08:14 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  Wrestling; balet for meatheads.

Hey, I studied Chinese wrestling and ju jiutsu. It is actually quite fascinating and very practical.

And I am a nerd who reads books and plays instruments.

The meatheads are in the audience of those stupid staged choreographed wrestling events. The wrestlers or rather, actors, in those shows are usually retired from real wrestling competition. Actual fighting is in their past.

I know this very well having my own full contact history.

I mean pro-wrestling, all the fake shit.
Actually wrestling, like Olympic wrestling, and martial arts I respect.

Quote:I always thought it was more like softcore porn for the homosexul deviants in the closet.

Me too. Except it's not at all attractive.

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