Reconnecting With An Old Flame: Reconnectier (The Sequel)
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09-06-2014, 12:51 AM
Reconnecting With An Old Flame: Reconnectier (The Sequel)
I guess my other thread on this topic is somewhere in the unreachable depths of the I@R section, so fuck it, I'll just make a new one here. Smile

No, I'm not bending to your bullshit privacy-invading requirements to enter that section of the forum. That's just the way it is.

Anyway, I posted before about trying to reconnect with an old girlfriend and, ultimately, how I pussied out about it. I sent her a message and a friend request via FB, then panicked and retracted all of it at the last minute. I felt really down on myself for being so scared of facing a part of my past. I wondered what it said about me that I couldn't even manage to deal with something that I've had numerous years to heal from. It bothered me.

Well, yesterday, she messaged me - having found my message to her - and we've been conversing non-stop for about 9 hours, now. It's been going very well. We've laughed, we've gotten serious; we've basically reminisced about our time together and caught up on how things have been going since the last time we spoke. And really, I've been handling it very well. When I found that she had messaged me, I got a little nervous, but I realized I was only nervous about being nervous. I have such strong and negative associations with interacting with her that I was terrified that simply conversing would bring it all back the way it did just recently when I reached out. But it hasn't. Maybe it's my new girl giving me confidence, maybe it's the alcohol (moderate though it may be), or maybe it's just that I'm not as broken up about it as I thought I would be. Maybe I was just scared that I would be scared, and that, in itself, made me scared.

I don't know, but either way, it's going well, and I feel like I'm tapping into a strength I didn't know I had. I'm not saying she and I are gonna be besties from now on, but I can certainly say I'm not feeling half of what I expected to feel. She's talked about her sexual excursions since our breakup, and that irked me just a bit (naturally, I suppose), but overall, it's been good. No matter what she's said, I realize that we're on different paths now, and that that's ok. She doesn't belong to me, and I don't belong to her, and there's nothing wrong with that. We're just two people now. Two people who happen to share an intimate past.

Again, I'm not saying we're gonna have some glorious reunion and be best friends, but I do realize, now, that there's no reason why we can't.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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09-06-2014, 07:18 AM
RE: Reconnecting With An Old Flame: Reconnectier (The Sequel)
"I really regret taking things slowly."

Said nobody. Ever.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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09-06-2014, 10:09 AM
RE: Reconnecting With An Old Flame: Reconnectier (The Sequel)
(09-06-2014 07:18 AM)Thinkerbelle Wrote:  "I really regret taking things slowly."

Said nobody. Ever.

I've said that.

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
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10-06-2014, 08:59 PM
RE: Reconnecting With An Old Flame: Reconnectier (The Sequel)
(09-06-2014 07:18 AM)Thinkerbelle Wrote:  "I really regret taking things slowly."

Said nobody. Ever.

I'm definitely taking it slowly. We talked for 9 hours, sure, but since then, we've only sent about two messages over FB. She keeps trying to push things (she speaks as though we didn't have a bitter fallout followed by 3 years of zero contact), but I'm keeping my distance. She suggested we speak on the phone, but I avoided it and she hasn't brought it back up.

One thing that worries me is that she's having issues with her husband and I think she's trying to lean on me. Add to this the fact that she has a nasty habit of sleeping with anyone who will be a temporary "escape" from her relationship issues and I'm definitely treading lightly.

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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12-06-2014, 09:41 AM
RE: Reconnecting With An Old Flame: Reconnectier (The Sequel)
Ah, that wonderful trip down memory land and that's likely all it is. We all have it when we haven't seen or spoken with someone in years and then it's done and we get on with our lives.
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