Relative asks you to pray
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26-03-2014, 07:52 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
No relative ever asked me to pray. I think it would be seen as something rather impolite to do here where I live.

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26-03-2014, 07:52 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
(26-03-2014 07:31 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 07:14 AM)LadyDay Wrote:  I'd personally go with War Horse's suggestion, just saying "I'll be sending positive thoughts" without mentioning his prayer request, maybe followed by "let me know if I can be of any help". It's non-confrontational, while showing your care and concern. It's not exactly the time to discuss your view on prayer with him or otherwise start an argument Smile Completely ignoring the text also seems cold, it demands some response.
I don't think it's quite fair of him to ask an atheist to pray, it makes it seem like you don't care properly if you don't pray, but sometimes it's best to give people some leanway and show them you can be caring without a god.


Yanno you're right. Actually I typed wrongly. I didn't mean ignore the text completely - I meant ignore the request for prayer completely.
Just didn't get it said right. WOW I came off Cold......... Sadcryface my bad

Oh no honey, you didn't Hug
I didn't mean to call anybody here cold, I didn't mean anybody in particular just in general that I thought the text needed some sort of response.
It was clear you didn't mean ignore the whole text, just the pray part Smile
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26-03-2014, 08:01 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
If someone on fb asks for prayers, I usually respond with "We'll keep them in our thoughts and hope for a speedy recovery".

My family only prays on holiday get togethers. We hold hands, but I and a few others do not bow our heads, nor close our eyes.

On occasions that I have given the prayer, I simply say "I would like to thank everyone who could be here and those who are not here we hold close in our thoughts. We thank all those who helped make this wonderful meal and those who helped make this day so special for all of us. With love we give thanks"

And that's it. There are lots of ways you can express hope and thankfulness without expressly mentioning any kind of god and I think children hearing this kind of wording will grow up using the same wording, so if you have the chance and your family is religious, step up and say something similar.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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26-03-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
I'd just kind of ignore it the request. Surely, their god isn't such a massive jerk he'd kill off your aunt just because one less person prayed for her, right? Unsure


When people ask me to pray, I either stay quiet, or give them an annoyed look, depending on what I'm being asked to pray for.
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26-03-2014, 09:17 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
I just stick with something parallel to it. 'I'll be sure to keep them in my thoughts'. Which I do. If someone is sick or hurting, they're in my thoughts and I hope they get better.

Didn't read all the other posts here...but basically the same thing. If it's not worth getting into a religious debate, I stick to 'thoughts' and 'well wishes'.

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26-03-2014, 10:10 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
(26-03-2014 06:41 AM)proplayer44 Wrote:  So my wife's aunt has a pig's heart valve. It's not working right and she needs to go in for a very risky double heart valve surgery. My father in laws tells me this in a text and at the end types Pray.

We don't have the best relationship since I'm not a Christian and he's born again. Do you think I need to respond to this. We have never discussed my atheism.

How do others handle similar situations when people ask you to pray?
I would probably just ignore the request since it's in an email and wasn't made into a big deal. If he pushes the issue further, then it depends on whether he knows you're an atheist and, if not, whether you want him to know. You can avoid the issue by telling him she's in your thoughts and you wish her all the best (similar to what War Horse mentioned) or you can politely tell him that you don't pray and then add the same thing about her being in your thoughts.

Fortunately, I don't get quite that boldness from my relatives. I frequently get something like "Say a prayer... er, well, sorry you know what I mean." Smile

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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26-03-2014, 10:19 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
(26-03-2014 06:41 AM)proplayer44 Wrote:  So my wife's aunt has a pig's heart valve. It's not working right and she needs to go in for a very risky double heart valve surgery. My father in laws tells me this in a text and at the end types Pray.

We don't have the best relationship since I'm not a Christian and he's born again. Do you think I need to respond to this. We have never discussed my atheism.

How do others handle similar situations when people ask you to pray?
Honestly it depends on my mood. Sometimes I like to play games. Sometimes I tell the truth. Sometimes if I feel like I don't want to argue I just say "sure." I don't actually pray... I can't really help here because I don't have the "atheist fear" that so many experience (perhaps because I live in Canada, I dunno).
My favourite response to this is
" sure, unless there's something I can do that might actually help."
None of this is good advise...
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26-03-2014, 10:20 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
(26-03-2014 07:01 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  If I am near family who asks "pray" I quietly bow my head (not eye closing) and I show respect for their feelings (not necessarily their religion).

This is exactly what I have done in similar situations. For example, a neighbor had us over for dinner and they bowed their heads and said grace before we ate. I simply bowed my head with my eyes open and politely waited for them to finish. I didn't say "Amen" with them either, but looked up and smiled warmly when they were done to communicate that everything was ok with me in case they had any thoughts about my lack of full participation.

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea." --Madalyn Murray O'Hair
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26-03-2014, 11:19 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
(26-03-2014 10:20 AM)Impulse Wrote:  
(26-03-2014 07:01 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  If I am near family who asks "pray" I quietly bow my head (not eye closing) and I show respect for their feelings (not necessarily their religion).

This is exactly what I have done in similar situations. For example, a neighbor had us over for dinner and they bowed their heads and said grace before we ate. I simply bowed my head with my eyes open and politely waited for them to finish. I didn't say "Amen" with them either, but looked up and smiled warmly when they were done to communicate that everything was ok with me in case they had any thoughts about my lack of full participation.


Right on.
I don't have to totally agree with someone's religious choices to show them some respect IN THEIR OWN home - right?
Now - at my house we don't pray. But I'm at someone else's house and they're saying grace before a meal........ I'm not going to make it all about me and my own choices.

It's all a matter of having honor and respect as far as I'm concerned.


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26-03-2014, 11:33 AM
RE: Relative asks you to pray
Thanksgiving day 'prayer' here is;

Bless our bikes, bless our food, and may our ol' ladies always be in the mood..... lets eat ! Big Grin

Never had any complaints, except maybe a few eye rolls Rolleyes

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