Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
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10-01-2017, 11:40 AM
Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I have a relative who is telling me he's so offended by my atheist t-shirt that I'm not allowed to wear it in his home anymore, or any other kind of atheist t-shirt.

While he has the right to ban me from his property for any reason, I guess, then that will mean I'll have to give up going there for family get-togethers like 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc., because I refuse to let him be my fashion police and tell me what I can and can't wear.

While I'm ok with not going there anymore for family get-togethers, I believe that will cause a major family uproar. I'm ok with that, too, but it's sad this will be a big hardship on everyone. So to stave that off without knuckling under to his bullying... what is a logical argument I can make that will make my relative understand that being the fashion police is not a good idea?

Should I wear a full burqua next time I'm over there, to take his policing to an absurd conclusion and make him see where his idea leads? Because really, if I let him tell me I can't wear specific shirts, why don't I just let him rummage through my closet and point out all other articles of clothing that offend him? Why don't I let him tell me what hairstyle I should wear, that I can't get a tattoo that's not his cup of tea, you see where this leads?

Now, again, he is only saying I can't wear offensive shirts (so far it's shirts, tomorrow it may be pants, skirts, socks, hats) IN HIS HOME. I can abide by his commandment and never set foot in his home again, or I can try to make him see that living in a free society, a democracy, is a good thing. He wants me to respect his Christian beliefs, but he doesn't want to respect my atheism. Does one of our stances trump the other? If so, whose? What is the argument that will get through to this guy?
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10-01-2017, 11:49 AM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I'm not telling you what to do, but if it were me, I'd just not wear an atheist t-shirt to his house.

It doesn't seem like that big a deal to me and he hasn't asked you to change any of the other things you've mentioned.

Pick your battles man, some just aren't worth fighting.
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10-01-2017, 11:50 AM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I'd be curious as to where he stands on a privately owned airline, for example, asking its staff and customers to remove all jesus-jewelry before they board the flight, on the pretext that someone might be offended.

Personally, I'd go topless. Then he can choose between being offended by your shirt or by your boobs.

Big Grin

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10-01-2017, 11:55 AM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
Thanks for your reply; I've heard that from a few other people I've discussed this with. And I used to comply with rules like that in the past, but I'm an adult now living in a free society and that is a big deal to me. It's a huge deal. I simply will not be bullied any longer. If he gets away with thinking he can control what other people wear, he won't stop there, believe me. I shudder to think what he'll try next.
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10-01-2017, 11:56 AM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
LOLOLOL! That's very funny, going topless. I'm bold, but I'm not that bold. Smile
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10-01-2017, 11:59 AM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I fully understand the irritation but it may be a case of picking your battles. If he has conditions for coming onto his property then you have the choice to abide by them, stay away, or make a scene. You need to figure out which would be best in your situation in the long term.

You can always make it clear to everybody that you are complying because family is more important to you than agreeing on religious claims.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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10-01-2017, 12:02 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
Hug

Been there... lived through that.

Now have my own house.

"Pants? They're optional baybee...." Heart

Big Grin
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10-01-2017, 12:06 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
You're so right, figure out what's best for the long term. I already know what that it is and it's sticking to my guns. Standing up for the right to free speech. What I need is the persuasive argument for that, or to turn the tables and show him that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Should I tell him he can't come on my property because of something he wears?
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10-01-2017, 12:08 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I'm glad you understand. Do you not go over to your relative's home anymore?

(10-01-2017 12:02 PM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  Hug

Been there... lived through that.

Now have my own house.

"Pants? They're optional baybee...." Heart

Big Grin
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10-01-2017, 12:14 PM (This post was last modified: 10-01-2017 04:58 PM by jennybee.)
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I agree with picking your battles. Like others have said, I just wouldn't wear the tee to his home. Family is more important than a tee-shirt. You're an atheist and they all know you're an atheist with or without the t-shirt. Wink I understand about wanting to express yourself--but at the risk of creating a rift within your family--it just doesn't seem worth it to me. That said, I think your relative is being unfair to request that of you, so I totally get your anger at his request. Think of it this way, you get to go home and live your life on your own terms while your relative lives his life under constant scrutiny of a magic genie. Who's the winner in this situation? Big Grin

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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