Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
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10-01-2017, 12:14 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
(10-01-2017 12:06 PM)RWulfgar Wrote:  You're so right, figure out what's best for the long term. I already know what that it is and it's sticking to my guns. Standing up for the right to free speech. What I need is the persuasive argument for that, or to turn the tables and show him that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Should I tell him he can't come on my property because of something he wears?

If he wants to come onto your property then you get to set the ground rules for his visit.

If I can ask... how old are you? I'm guessing fairly young (20-30?). If so, I understand the passion but sometimes maintaining peace is better and you may regret alienating people later. If he's just asking you to respect his views by not flaunting your own on his property that is really not all that unreasonable. Wear a Darwin fish bracelet or necklace or something equally subtle and leave the "fuck religion" t-shirts for other occasions. You don't actually have a right to free speech on his property.

My 2 cents.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
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10-01-2017, 12:21 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
The way I see it, "my house, my rules" is part of living in a free society, so I don't think he's stepping out of bounds by not allowing Atheist t-shirts in his house. You're still free to wear them everywhere else (except the Creation Museum of course Rolleyes ) and free not to go to his house at all.

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10-01-2017, 12:27 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
You could tell him a penis is offensive to you and he'll have to get rid of it. Evil_monster
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10-01-2017, 12:38 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
His house, his rules. Nothing much to add here.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

Mikhail Bakunin.
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10-01-2017, 12:42 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
Thanks, everyone, for your responses! I really do appreciate your taking the time to respond to my post. Smile
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10-01-2017, 12:58 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
(10-01-2017 11:40 AM)RWulfgar Wrote:  I have a relative who is telling me he's so offended by my atheist t-shirt that I'm not allowed to wear it in his home anymore, or any other kind of atheist t-shirt.

While he has the right to ban me from his property for any reason, I guess, then that will mean I'll have to give up going there for family get-togethers like 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc., because I refuse to let him be my fashion police and tell me what I can and can't wear.

While I'm ok with not going there anymore for family get-togethers, I believe that will cause a major family uproar. I'm ok with that, too, but it's sad this will be a big hardship on everyone. So to stave that off without knuckling under to his bullying... what is a logical argument I can make that will make my relative understand that being the fashion police is not a good idea?

Should I wear a full burqua next time I'm over there, to take his policing to an absurd conclusion and make him see where his idea leads? Because really, if I let him tell me I can't wear specific shirts, why don't I just let him rummage through my closet and point out all other articles of clothing that offend him? Why don't I let him tell me what hairstyle I should wear, that I can't get a tattoo that's not his cup of tea, you see where this leads?

Now, again, he is only saying I can't wear offensive shirts (so far it's shirts, tomorrow it may be pants, skirts, socks, hats) IN HIS HOME. I can abide by his commandment and never set foot in his home again, or I can try to make him see that living in a free society, a democracy, is a good thing. He wants me to respect his Christian beliefs, but he doesn't want to respect my atheism. Does one of our stances trump the other? If so, whose? What is the argument that will get through to this guy?

My impression, from what you are writing, is that you want to be able to visit and enjoy your extended family and your relative's hospitality, but at the same time, you seem to want to be able to poke at him (and maybe people in the family?) by wearing shirts that you already know distress him somewhat. Of course I may be misreading your OP, but that's what I get from it. It's not clear from your description whether he may deserve the poke by having demeaned you for your atheism in the past, or whether he's been nasty if you've tried talking atheism in his house, etc.

There aren't free speech or slippery slope arguments that are appropriate in this circumstance. He knows what kinds of dynamics play out when you visit, and he has the "right," when you're an invited guest, to try to minimize any bad feelings or arguments that erupt.

One argument you might make, though, is that there is a different, better way for him to manage the situation. If he concedes that you can wear what you want, in your turn, you might agree to self-police more or moderate your tone a bit. Of course this assumes that what you want is a fun time for all and are not deliberately poking.

If you can't come to terms in a polite conversation with him about the issue, the bottom line is that it's his house, his hospitality. Then your choices are to go along or not to visit. If you decide to stop visiting, there's no need to make a huge deal out of it with your family and try to get other people to stay away. If he's a jerk who's constantly doing this to everyone, eventually others will join you.
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10-01-2017, 01:05 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
At work. (With pants!)

(10-01-2017 12:08 PM)RWulfgar Wrote:  I'm glad you understand. Do you not go over to your relative's home anymore?

(10-01-2017 12:02 PM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  Hug

Been there... lived through that.

Now have my own house.

"Pants? They're optional baybee...." Heart

Big Grin

Nah, they've all buggered off to Old Blighty. Tongue
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10-01-2017, 01:13 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
You could always go about it passive aggressively and wear a Galapagos Islands t-shirt or something, then let them start the conversation so they can't blame you.

'Murican Canadian
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10-01-2017, 01:20 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
(10-01-2017 01:13 PM)yakherder Wrote:  You could always go about it passive aggressively and wear a Galapagos Islands t-shirt or something, then let them start the conversation so they can't blame you.

Or this Laugh out load

[Image: 6a14a06b943d4ffd621a53d26ebe9f16.jpg?itok=xGzt-kZh]

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10-01-2017, 01:32 PM
RE: Relative says I can't wear atheist t-shirts in his house.
I suppose this is right out...

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