(11-05-2012 10:49 AM)Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote: As a primer on the inner secrets of Mormonism, the LDS believe that God (Elohim) was once a human man born somewhere far, far off in the cosmos to human parents. As he obeyed and adhered to Mormon teachings, Elohim was granted godhood status when he died and was given a planet of his own to rule over and an eternal spirit family. The planet the god Elohim lives on is called Kolob. Exactly where in the cosmos Kolob lies is a mystery, though it must be somewhere near Earth, as Elohim, and his sons Jesus and Lucifer, make frequent trips there.
So Elohim now spends his days on the planet Kolob (I'm laughing as I type this) having sex with his spirit wives - its a hard eternal life. In turn, his spirit wives become pregnant and have spirit babies. These spirit babies, once born, are in a state called pre-existence. On Kolob they await transport to the womb of a human woman on Earth to be born as a flesh and blood human to endure The Trials. You see, Elohim intends to have his own spirit children attain godhood as well, but they must first be tested and proven obedient to Mormon teachings, just as he was. So Elohim created planet Earth, where the spirit babies would be sent to face their trials and tribulations as humans. This plan wasn't without controversy. Elohim's oldest son, Lucifer, violently opposed the idea and cost Elohim 1/3 of his children, who joined with Lucifer to overthrow Elohim in the great civil war of Kolob. Lucifer & Co. were defeated by Elohim's forces and cast down to earth as demons. To make further example, Elohim went as far as to curse his children, who were neutral about the dispute, with dark skin. This is where the negro race comes from. No, I am NOT drinking bleach right now; it's what Mormons really believe, but thanks for your concern.
So good Mormons today will have large families and lots of children because they believe they are providing bodies to spirit babies to be born into this world for their trials to earn godhood status. They also believe that this is being obedient to the will of their Heavenly Father, Elohim and will prove themselves worthy to become gods when they die. Then they, and their wives and children, will receive a planet all their own to populate and rule, just as Elohim, and his father before him, did.
I think Joseph Smith told someone this story and they said, "Oh Joseph, you're a moron
." and he just didn't hear them correctly.