Religious Abuse From Family
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10-11-2014, 12:49 AM
Religious Abuse From Family
How do you respectfully handle religion abuse from family members? When they send you random bible verses via text or email in response to a twitter post or a blog that you posted because they don't agree with it? Or, when they comment on a meaningful quote or a post on Facebook with, "Yes, that's true, but with faith in God blah blah blah..." Or, if your family is going crazy over a new Christian movie and you tell them you don't want to watch it, and they make degrading sounds or comments.
I think the worst was when my ex recently gave an old book about faith in God to my sister so she could give it to me... She knows I'm an atheist, but she tells me she's keeping it for me.
This is why I live far away from them, but they try to chase me with the bible by using technology. Is this considered borderline abusive, or do we just smile and act nice for the sake of keeping the peace? I try to be up front but I don't want to alienate myself from them.
I'm curious to know how you handle very religious parents / family.
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10-11-2014, 08:19 AM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
The best you can do is just be yourself, and when sent bible quotes, etc...say a simple 'thank you.' Nothing more. When asked to watch a Christian-based movie, simply say 'no thanks, I have plans.' Nothing more. Don't give them the opportunity to battle you, just leave it at that...less is more in these cases. And less will bring YOU peace. In dealing with my own religious zealot of a dad, I simply say ''I appreciate you feel this way, but I no longer do.'' He has let up a bit, but I was once a Christian, so I try to remember that many theists are well intentioned. (not all, of course lol)

Sorry you're going through this, though. Hug

Be true to yourself. Heart
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10-11-2014, 08:55 AM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
(10-11-2014 08:19 AM)Deidre32 Wrote:  The best you can do is just be yourself, and when sent bible quotes, etc...say a simple 'thank you.' Nothing more. When asked to watch a Christian-based movie, simply say 'no thanks, I have plans.' Nothing more. Don't give them the opportunity to battle you, just leave it at that...less is more in these cases. And less will bring YOU peace. In dealing with my own religious zealot of a dad, I simply say ''I appreciate you feel this way, but I no longer do.'' He has let up a bit, but I was once a Christian, so I try to remember that many theists are well intentioned. (not all, of course lol)

Sorry you're going through this, though. Hug
Thanks you're right. Smile I try to keep it all at a simple thank you and leave it at that . I live 3 hours away by airplane lol so it's easier to not be involved, but it's when I visit that it gets tense sometimes. It's great that your dad had let up and it's true, they're mostly doing this because they want us to go to heaven. I used to be very Christian so it's going to take a while for things to settle probably.
Thanks for your help. Smile
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10-11-2014, 10:08 AM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
Honestly, if I was in your shoes, with atheism being so 'fresh', I would really, really limit my exposure to them.

If you dont unfriend them, then hide their posts so they arent constantly in your face, move them to restricted lists so you share less (and they have less opportunity to comment on) your life.


Later when you feel more confident, you can gradually bring them back in at full swing, but really, taking a breather from the crazy in your life is ok and acceptable.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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10-11-2014, 12:42 PM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
(10-11-2014 10:08 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Honestly, if I was in your shoes, with atheism being so 'fresh', I would really, really limit my exposure to them.

If you dont unfriend them, then hide their posts so they arent constantly in your face, move them to restricted lists so you share less (and they have less opportunity to comment on) your life.


Later when you feel more confident, you can gradually bring them back in at full swing, but really, taking a breather from the crazy in your life is ok and acceptable.
That's really good advice and it's so true! It is craziness and they don't know I've deconverted. Except for my sister who takes it pretty well, but sometimes she doesn't hide her annoyance at my lack of faith. I think that moving out here was the best thing I did for myself. I become anxious and depressed when I'm around them. I'm realizing now just how much I let them control me through my 20s.
I hope you're right, that there will be a point where I can spend more time with them and they won't pick apart everything I say or post.
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10-11-2014, 12:47 PM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
Think of it like when you moved. You put things in boxes and when you un packed, you took out your needed and favorite things first. The others are important to you too, but that doesnt mean you need to unpack them right away. Its ok to leavethem in the box in the corner (or out in the garage) till you find the place you want to bring them out. You need to be somewhere for a bit, learn the flow of the rooms before you start decorating and making the new place your own.

its ok to put them 'on hold' till you get settled.

Heart


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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10-11-2014, 12:52 PM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
(10-11-2014 12:47 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Think of it like when you moved. You put things in boxes and when you un packed, you took out your needed and favorite things first. The others are important to you too, but that doesnt mean you need to unpack them right away. Its ok to leavethem in the box in the corner (or out in the garage) till you find the place you want to bring them out. You need to be somewhere for a bit, learn the flow of the rooms before you start decorating and making the new place your own.

its ok to put them 'on hold' till you get settled.

Heart

Aw that's awesome. You're a sweetheart. Smile <3 I'll be sure to do that. I just wish there was no religion... It would make things much easier.
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10-11-2014, 01:15 PM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
Just don't expect them to ever stop. They all have this prodigal son crap burned into their brains where they think everything they want will happen eventually because their godboy said so. Sooner or later they just know that pappy jesus will make you see the light and you'll come back to them. It makes them so sickeningly sanctimonious.

I never bothered with Facebook - one internet vice I've managed to avoid - but does it have something like an avatar?

If they have to look at something like this

[Image: atheism_is_myth_understood_pinback_butto...vr_324.jpg]

every time they come there, maybe they'll stop coming?

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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10-11-2014, 05:14 PM
RE: Religious Abuse From Family
(10-11-2014 01:15 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  Just don't expect them to ever stop. They all have this prodigal son crap burned into their brains where they think everything they want will happen eventually because their godboy said so. Sooner or later they just know that pappy jesus will make you see the light and you'll come back to them. It makes them so sickeningly sanctimonious.

I never bothered with Facebook - one internet vice I've managed to avoid - but does it have something like an avatar?

If they have to look at something like this

[Image: atheism_is_myth_understood_pinback_butto...vr_324.jpg]

every time they come there, maybe they'll stop coming?
Lol sadly I'd probably get bombarded with messages and calls if I posted something like that. Believe me, I'm tempted to. Smile
It's true though. They'll probably never stop. *•*
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