Religious movies.
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03-06-2014, 12:57 AM
Religious movies.
First we had God's not Dead (my sister dragged me to it for her birthday party), then Heaven is for real, and now a trailer's come out for a Left Behind movie. Has Nicolas Cage hit rock bottom? What's your opinion? Any other movies you'd like to discuss? How many questions am I going to ask?

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03-06-2014, 01:15 AM
RE: Religious movies.
I said this before a hundred times and I'll repeat it again.

I'll pay a lot of money to see a film where the Christian Deity is the bad guy and the climax is said deity getting curb stomped by our pissed off protagonist.

“You see… sometimes life gives you lemons. And when that happens… you need to find some spell that makes lemons explode, because lemons are terrible. I only ate them once and I can say with certainty they are the worst fruit. If life gave me lemons, I would view it as nothing short of a declaration of war."
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03-06-2014, 02:01 AM (This post was last modified: 03-06-2014 02:04 AM by EvolutionKills.)
RE: Religious movies
The Left Behind movie could be fun, if the team behind it was intent on being subversive; sorta like how the Starship Troopers movie lampooned and satirized the military fetishism and fascism found in the novel (I think they both are great, just for entirely different reasons). Will Cage chew the scenery? Almost certainly. Will everyone else cast in the movie just take things at face value and phone it in? Unfortunately that is almost just as certain.

Still, just as a recap...

The Passion of the Christ - 2 hours of torture porn as we watch Jesus get the shit kicked out of him, and it all gets blamed on 'the Jews' because it was directed by an anti-Semitic asshole.

God Is Not Dead - Hercules plays the most uninteresting caricature of a big bad atheist college professor, there only to feed into the intended audiences persecution complex while also not-so-subtly reassuring them that they are in fact correct and need not worry.

Fireproof - Jesus saves Kirk Cameron's fake marriage in this sad excuse for a Lifetime miniseries wannabe.

Heaven is for Real - How to exploit your child and your culture to get yourself out of debt. Also, rainbow unicorn.

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03-06-2014, 05:02 PM
RE: Religious movies.
Because if they don't then their little slavery tool will not work anymore.

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03-06-2014, 05:33 PM
RE: Religious movies.
I would have loved to see Superman and Hercules duke it out in that movie. I think they even made a superman reference, as Josh Wheaties had a (extremely basic) girlfriend named KARA who looked just like Supergirl. Other than guest appearances, it was just film writers jacking off to their own persecution/revenge fetish porn.
...
That was the strangest sentence I have ever written.

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26-02-2015, 04:57 AM
RE: Religious movies.
4 Lions is hilarious and sad at the same time... after watching it Dancing in the Moonlight became my LSS. Big Grin

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." -Sherlock Holmes
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