Religious one liners counter arguements

[Monk]

Some was covered on the main website for TTA, but I've been using these for a bit.

Christian: "The lord will protect me"
Me: "Do you lock your house at night? Do you wear your seatbelt? "

Christian: "God is outside of time and the universe"
Me: "God is outside time? and laws of physics? Then how do we know about him/it?"

Christian: "There's power in prayer"
Me: "What voltage does prayer run at?"

Do you have any other one liners?

[MasterRottweiler]

Sometimes I use these when I hear christian oneliners.

Fundie: Jesus saves you.
Me: If Jesus saves me, Where was he when I got mugged? (And yes I've been mugged)

Fundie: Humans are God's most perfect creation.
Me: If humans are a perfect creation, Why cockroaches could survive a nuclear apocalypse?

Fundie: The human eye is the perfect evidence of we being created by god. (aka. inteligent design?
- Then why the horned owl and the african harpy eagle have an eyesight far superior than ours.

[deathscythen]

Christian: the lord is my shepherd he guides me
Me: Why do u have GPS then

Christian:The lord has been showed himself that is proof for me
Me:If the lord has shown to u why haven't he showed them self to the rest of the world

Christian:Jesus paid for our sins
Me:if your jesus paid for our sins then why are there still sins in this world

[gaglamesh731]

Christian : I believe god created me.
Me : Your belief has no bearing on reality.

Christian : The world was created for us, it's perfect.
Me : Then why did the Kepler probe find several other planets capable of supporting human life in just 1/300th part of the night sky.

[Observer]

Theist: What are you going to say when you face the Lord on judgment day?
Me: Where's Zeus?
Theist: That's ridiculous! Zeus does not exist!
Me: No shit brainiac!

[Cdf50]

(25-04-2011 12:47 AM)Monk Wrote:  Some was covered on the main website for TTA, but I've been using these for a bit.

Christian: "The lord will protect me"
Me: "Do you lock your house at night? Do you wear your seatbelt? "

Christian: "God is outside of time and the universe"
Me: "God is outside time? and laws of physics? Then how do we know about him/it?"

Christian: "There's power in prayer"
Me: "What voltage does prayer run at?"

Do you have any other one liners?

"Of course I do. The lord has given me the ability to buy a lock and a seatbelt so that I may protect myself"

"God can manipulate time and the universe as he deems fit, making it more than possible for him to talk to humans and perform miracles."

and that last one is funny, but pretty pretty much always useless against a theist.

(25-04-2011 02:54 AM)MasterRottweiler Wrote:  Sometimes I use these when I hear christian oneliners.

Fundie: Jesus saves you.
Me: If Jesus saves me, Where was he when I got mugged? (And yes I've been mugged)

Fundie: Humans are God's most perfect creation.
Me: If humans are a perfect creation, Why cockroaches could survive a nuclear apocalypse?

Fundie: The human eye is the perfect evidence of we being created by god. (aka. inteligent design?
- Then why the horned owl and the african harpy eagle have an eyesight far superior than ours.

"Aren't you alive today? You were protected."

"Cockroaches can't think like we do. They can survive nuclear attacks, but they are not superior to us."

"Because we don't need a better eye, ours is juuuust perfect."

(25-04-2011 03:20 AM)deathscythen Wrote:  Christian: the lord is my shepherd he guides me
Me: Why do u have GPS then

Christian:The lord has been showed himself that is proof for me
Me:If the lord has shown to u why haven't he showed them self to the rest of the world

Christian:Jesus paid for our sins
Me:if your jesus paid for our sins then why are there still sins in this world

"Because the lord granted my people the intelligence to create such tools."

"He doesn't have to; it is we that must have faith."

"Jesus paid for our past sins, not for ones we had yet to commit."

[No J.]

(25-04-2011 03:50 PM)Cdf50 Wrote:  "Jesus paid for our past sins, not for ones we had yet to commit."

Then why is there still "original sin"???????

[Snuff]

Quote:"Jesus paid for our past sins, not for ones we had yet to commit."

Actually that's wrong if your a divine Christian, because my step father is a pastor and when I had to go to church this past Sunday with my girlfriend he said that Jesus was paying for past, present and future sins. He said back then before Jesus was crucified it was like credit and then he paid the credit off and today you have a debit card for sins it's instantly paid for... Although I don't believe in any of it... it makes more sense because otherwise "your Jesus died for nothing" XD

Christian God created everything!
Me - Then why did he make me an Atheist? (haha just a joke)

Me So you believe in God but don't believe in the possibility of aliens?
Christian I've never seen aliens so they don't exist - I've heard this so many times by the way ROFL

Christian It's in the Bible so it's true
Me It's a book written by men, just like comic books and fiction books... you do know the Bible isn't in the Non-Fiction section but the Biblical section of a book store?

Christian Then where do we go when we die?
Me A lot people go to the hospital first and then the morgue... after that it depends on if your going to be cremated, buried in a casket or whatever you decide.

[ashley.hunt60]

Christian: "God is always watching you"

Atheist: "God's watching me in the shower? The pervert"
~
(In reference to suffering in the world)
Christian: It's all part of God's plan

Atheist: Couldn't think up anything better than killing children with AIDS?
~
Christian: I'll pray for you.

Atheist: I'll call a therapist for your 'Talking-to-Myself' problem.

EDIT: I just realized, this is my 666th post. That calls for celebration.

[Lilith Pride]

The idea of Jesus' sacrifice was to pay for the sin man encroached upon themselves of death as only through death could that be repaid. But, if humans died, then every human at death would repay that sin, and for the whole Jesus precession it would then suggest death ended. Death never ended. Christians suggest that Jesus defeated death but people still die. There is nothing even slightly comprehensible over the sacrifice because all that making Jesus a man did was have Jesus live through a Man's life. If death is supposed to have been eased after his sacrifice it wasn't. Well after the point that Jesus was alive there was little medically possible to ease suffering of horrific diseases. Even now people die horribly and live in terrible pain of diseases. No acceptance of anything based on faith allows you to live forever or die painlessly.