Religious storm building at home
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13-02-2014, 03:02 PM
RE: Religious storm building at home
Oh. Louisiana.

[Image: louisiana-monkeys.jpeg]


My sympathies.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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13-02-2014, 03:15 PM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(13-02-2014 03:02 PM)meremortal Wrote:  
(13-02-2014 02:26 PM)wazzel Wrote:  Not really. We could send them to the public school we are zoned to. It is actually OK for smart kids, lucky I have smart kids. We could have lived in a different part of town and sent the kids to the better public school, but wife did not want to live in the rural part of the parish (yes I am from Louisiana). We could home school, but that means I would have to home school them. So I would work all day and teach all night. We did and still do have options.

Just curious; what parish do you live in? There aren't too many with decent public schools.
Terrebonne, and that is a misconception. The schools here are harder than the ones my kids went to when we lived in the Houston burbs.
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13-02-2014, 03:17 PM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(13-02-2014 03:02 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  Oh. Louisiana.

[Image: louisiana-monkeys.jpeg]


My sympathies.

Not my experience here in southern Louisiana. We tend to be south of the bible belt stupidness. I went to college in north Louisiana and it is like a differnt state.

I am sorry you live whereever it is you live. It must suck there too.
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06-03-2014, 09:00 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
How does one approach the subject when you think your kids are athiest with a very religious mom/wife. I would love to talk to the kids about this, but not until I have talked to my wife. Part of me does not want to give the kids this information so they will not have it to use against mom. My wife and I do not have the best of relationships and my kids do not really like their mom so any ammo I give them will be used at some point in time and it is not fair to do that to my wife, no matter the condition of our relationship.

I am still not ready to talk to my wife about this. I know the fall out will be nasty possibily to the point of divorce.

Seeing that yesterday was ash wednesday and kind of a big deal for my wife. The kids commented to me that she was the only one that cared. Which was true.
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06-03-2014, 10:00 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
Your primary obligation is to support your daughters. Kids put their fathers on pedestals and look up to them. Sadly, not so much the mothers. It is the strength they draw from your support that will help them thro the remainder of their lives, long after you're gone.
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06-03-2014, 10:01 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
(06-03-2014 09:00 AM)wazzel Wrote:  How does one approach the subject when you think your kids are athiest with a very religious mom/wife. I would love to talk to the kids about this, .....

Seeing that yesterday was ash wednesday and kind of a big deal for my wife. The kids commented to me that she was the only one that cared. Which was true.

Your kids are already discussing it.

I would approach with wife and kids in a firm manner that EVERYONE has the right to their own beliefs. Freedom of conscience. That each person can only choose for themselves. And while you may not all share the same beliefs, you all need to be respectful to each other.

My husband is a believer, my daughters are younger than yours, we talk openly about beliefs here, probably too much. My kids know exactly where I stand and exactly where my husband does. He talks freely about God and Jesus as I do about science and lack of evidence. My children are firmly agnostic, and that's fine. There have been a few times where the kids want to say some things about my husbands beliefs (essentially saying he's whacko) but I put it to an end quickly and remind that he is their Dad and he gets the right to choose his path as much as they get to choose their own. They are not permitted to make fun of him for his religion or for his lack of hair or any other quality.

It's a lesson on being respectful to those we love more than the details of each other's beliefs (or lack of beliefs)

I hope that makes sense.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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06-03-2014, 10:13 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
Also, have you considered counseling? There is a list of secular counsellors somewhere. It might do you good to discuss this situation together. Don't start the fire without a way to extinguish it.

If you could get this situation resolved peacefully for all involved, would you still be thinking you are headed to divorce?

I would think a breakdown of the family unit would do more damage to all involved than counseling and working thru some issues. Your daughters are looking at you and your wife to set the standard for relationships that they will have in the future.

Conflict resolution is part of that. Would you want them to bite their tongues, bide their time being miserable, and not actively look for a solution? Or do you want them to feel confident in relationships that they can voice themselves, that relationships are supposed to bring us happiness and that there are solutions worth looking into, especially when it comes to the ones we love.

You set the bar. Not just for yourself, but set the example for them.

Heart


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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06-03-2014, 10:38 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
B&A

I am sure my kids are talking to each other and about the religious views of my wife and I. If it were up to me I would go down the to each their own path and not worry about it. It only kind of bothers me that my wife is religious. Not so much that she is religious, but how she acts about it. Mutial respect would be great, but does not come from my wife. Related story, last week she called me at work and hen pecked me loud enough that the guys (2) I share an office with could hear her and she did not respect my repeated request for her to let it be until I got home. I ended up hanging up and was not happy when I got home. It is not out of the norm for her to call or text me with a crisis sever times a week. I have been browbeaten over my unwillingness to participte at mass or even go. So the possibility of her accepting my change is fairly low.

We have been to cousouling, she did not like the consolur so we quite. She is currently in individual consouling. I have offered to attend if the cousolur wanted to talk to us together. Confronting her is rediculous. No matter the issue, even if she is dead wrong she will fight to win the argument. There is no and has never been any type of issue resolution with our confrontations.

I have allowed our marriage to be a bad example for the kids. So bad that neither of my girls are interested in dating. My 11 yo son told his mom the other day he is never getting married.
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06-03-2014, 10:48 AM
RE: Religious storm building at home
I'm sorry to hear that. Hug

Seek individual counseling for you and especially the kids. It can't be easy living in that atmosphere Sad

They will offer some ways to cope, and help you plan the next steps for your family. And help you each find ways of healing from the hurts each of you have and how to handle issues in future relationships. Your marriage might be over, but don't let it spoil future relationships.

Many Hug to you. Heart

I hope you keep us updated and know you can vent here too.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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06-03-2014, 10:49 AM (This post was last modified: 06-03-2014 10:56 AM by Alex_Leonardo.)
RE: Religious storm building at home
(07-02-2014 07:54 AM)wazzel Wrote:  My daughter told my wife she though it was historically based, but not historically accurate in some places and metaphorical in others.

IT'S THE WORD OF GOD!
HOW IS IT METAPHORICAL?
I think the douchebags who wrote REALLY meant it. REALLY. People are just saying it's metaphorical to cope with what's actually in it. Anyways, when I read it, I see no metaphoric speech used in it, and the use of language really sounds solid.
Secondly, how is it historically based? The only real thing in the bible (the hebrew one anyways) is probably Ramses II and hebrew slaves, not counting the plagues, turning staffs into snakes, and the burning bush.
It's not just
Quote: not historically accurate in some places
it's a all-around batshit-town. Almost everything in it is very, very, very, inaccurate.
If your daughter is in that wazoo, just ask her for evidence of it.

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